JUST ONE SOBER (frankiana)

Chapter 22

Franki's POV

FLASHBACK

"Wala akong masamang intensyon. Ang gusto ko lang tulungan mo kong wakasan ang sumpa, pagkatapos nun di na kita gagambalahin pa." Mahinahon kong pagpapaliwanag kay Diana.

"Adik ka ba?. Hindi totoo ang mga sumpa sumpa na yan Franki, okay?. Pwede ba?. Hindi ako nakikipagbiruan sayo."

"Nung una, hindi rin ako naniniwala pero habang tumatagal kasi lumalala na. Lalo nakong nahuhulog sayo. Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap yun?."

"So, sinira mo ang kasal ko just because you can't unlove me?. At naniniwala ka talagang sumpa yang nangyayari sayo?. May saltik karin eh no."

EOFB

Hindi ako makapaniwala na halos pareho lang din ang mga pangyayari sa mundong ito at dun sa kabila. Kung sinasabi nilang those are just my hallucinations, bakit nasa ganito akong situation? Bakit parang nakita ko ang mga mangyayari sa hinaharap?

Kung yung imaginary world ko nag-exist lang to warn me on the things that are about to happen, then this is bad. Nalaman ko these past few days from Argel habang wala si Diana na totoo pala ang mga detalyeng alam ko tulad ng panggagamit ng mga magulang niya sa kanya for their own sick benefits,at ngayon pa napag-isip-isip ko na parang naulit na naman yung sitwasyon kung saan napipilitan si Diana na mahulog sakin.

Dun sa kabilang mundo, napilitan si Diana dahil buong akala namin totoo na talagang may sumpa. Turns out na Hasna na kapatid ng di umanong gumawa ng gayuma is just giving me a favor. Tinutulungan niya lang ako hanggang sa naging totoo na nga ang lahat. Pero totoo nga kayang nag-eexist si Hasna?

Hindi ko na alam kung anong paniniwalaan ko, kung anong totoo at hindi. Sobrang gulo ng mga detalye. Bakit kasi kailangan pa tong mangyari sakin? Gaya dun sa kabilang mundo, sumpa din ba tong nangyayari sakin?

Nasa kwarto ko na kami habang minamasahe ako ni Diana.

Nagkukwento lang si Diana about our experiences before nang,

"Uhm Diana, hold that thought muna. May itatanong lang ako."

"What is it Franki?."

"May kilala ka bang Hasna?."

"Of course. Pinakilala ko nga sya sayo nung minsang may party dati nung senior highschool pa tayo. Birthday ng kapatid niya. Tapos tignan mo naman ngayon, sya na yung abogado ko for legal separation."

"Talaga?."

"Hindi mo ba naaalala?."

"Hindi eh."

"Ganun ba?. Anyway, bakit mo natanong?."

"Du-dun kasi sa other world, andun sya. Kapatid sya ng gumawa ng gayuma that I ingested."

"Sumpa?."

"Well, at the end of it all nalaman natin na hindi pala talaga yun sumpa. But because we thought it's real, you were forced to fall in love with me. Isn't that crazy? Parang yan din ang nangyayari satin ngayon."

"Franki, I already told you. I'm not forcing myself to fall for you. Force is different from let. I'm open for the possibilities you know."

"I've heard kasi from Argel that you're searching for a girlfriend na pwedeng--"

"Franki, don't worry. I'm not gonna use you to fix my issues. Pero kung mahulog man ako sayo along the way, I don't want you to think that I fell because you love me or dahil naaawa ako sayo. I'll assure you that I will fall because that's what I feel. I will never ever do or say something that I know would intentionally hurt you." When she said that, I fell deeper into these feelings I have for her. I fell in love with her, all over again. Sana totoo yang sinasabi mo Diana.

"What makes you certain that you'll fall for me?. Kasi sa sinasabi mo, parang nangangako ka nang may aasahan ako." Sabi ko, resisting to believe.

"Because I wanted it so bad to fall for you. I wanted it so bad to give the most powerful pronoun a try. I wanted it so bad to know how life feels like spending it with my bestfriend, my partner, my soulmate. I wanted it so bad to make this curiosity a doorway towards a happy ending, because I know it from the beginning that life wouldn't end happily without you Franki. And if this is supposed to be a love story, then let me tell you that this is not for another lifetime. A love story with you as my happy ending is worth it." She's crying Franki, gosh

"But I'm not a man. I'm not going to fulfill your dreams and give you beautiful children." I told her.

"The moment I held your hand I know I'm going to let go everything I hold—everything I believed in. That's how drunk I am to give up everything and choose you. We're born with nothing, we die with nothing Franki. So what's the point of having all those things? I know that I don't own you and vice versa. We are going to die soon, but because we're together, we're one but never alone."

She said finally inching herself towards me for a light hug.

..

Diana's POV

FLASHBACK

"If you're going to convince yourself that you're falling for her, nagiging totoo na rin yun sayo Diana. Just fake it til you make it." Sabi sakin ni Argel.

EOFB

Pero ngayon, parang hindi ko na alam kung totoo ba yung mga sinabi ko kay Franki or dahil in character lang ako. Nag-e-expect na ako na pag natuloyan ako nito, ako rin yung masasaktan.

Kapag naka-recover na si Franki sa depression at subtle seizures at di tumalab ang mga gamot na tine-take niya, mapipilitan silang magdesisyon na iundergo si Franki ng electroconvulsive therapy kung saan posibleng tuluyan narin nyang makalimutan lahat ng mga alaala tungkol sa akin while I'm left with my feelings for her.

Itutuloy narin ni Argel ang balak nilang pagpapakasal. They'll have children just like what Franki was always dreaming about when we were younger.

Hindi niya naman talaga gusto to, but her brain is convincing her that she does.

Never in my wildest dreams na naisip kong aabot kami sa ganitong situwasyon. Yung parang okay lang kami as bestfriends nang bigla na lang syang nagkasakit sa pag-iisip na parang pumunta sya mundo kung saan nandoon ang posibilidad na pwedeng mahulog ang loob niya sa akin.

When you talk about psychology and people's mental power, sobrang lawak nito. Pero baka naman deep inside of her considered the possibility of falling for me, hindi niya lang masyadong ina-acknowledge.

Besides, sexual orientation is a really complex thing. I started writing about it since it is part of my research along with Franki's condition. What happened to her is that she's a straight girl who is basically inlove with her dream guy, but then all of a sudden she's been hallucinating things like she's in an impossible dream where that world basically convinced her that she's inlove with her female bestfriend, which is me. That's the craziest thing that could ever happen to you. It changed Franki's life forever. It changed my life when she woke up, and I feel like I'm about to get drunk of the whole idea of being with her and dealing with its consequences.