Mental Ramblings

Come up with a title

This isn't a poem but more like mental baggage that I wanna get off my chest and I figured I'd randomly throw it in here so um yeah. Well I haven't been in the best state of mind for what seems like maybe a couple weeks now or maybe longer but I guess in general life has been kind of chaotic, depressing, boring, stressful, hopeless, scary etc. It's like I'm always anxious or really stressed out over everything to do with my job and family and the world outside and it all just weighs down on me and all I can think about is the negative like what if this happens or what if that happens. I'm not gonna get into any actual details about my actual personal life just because it's confusing and none of you would really understand but all I can say is that I'm afraid and I've been letting fear rule me and it's all because I have horrible anxiety and I can't stop.getting these bad thoughts and this is something I mentioned in a previous poem having to do with intrusive thoughts that I get randomly and how they affect my mental health. It's hard for me to explain why I even get them but I feel like it has a lot to do with me being paranoid and on the edge so much that I start thinking about violent shit and death and losing a loved one or just having something really traumatizing happen to me that could potentially ruin my life and I worry a lot about what's currently going on. The fact that there's so much tragedy and disaster and how fragile human life is and it really is. I mean we could die at any moment and that just scares me so much but I don't know I feel like I'm going crazy and I don't know how the fuck to process anything. All I can do is cry and pray for my sanity bc I just don't have any hope that things will get better and all my problems will go away and you know I'm just sick of living in constant fear. It really shouldn't have to be like this but like I said I'm going crazy and people are going to judge me and I'm going to feel shitty bc I'm so weak and sensitive and I can't get over myself and it fucking sucks. I feel so alone and like I don't have anyone to talk to and why should I if I don't trust anyone. Why do you think I wrote poetry? Because people don't get me or what goes on in my head not even my family and there the ones that I worry so much about I can't even begin to explain but I think I'll stop here and bye for now........

Another tragic ending for a lonely dead poet