TURNIPS

In honour of contie 2

WELL DONE JESS WE ALL ARE HAPPY N PROUD FOR THE RETURN OF CONTIE TWO

But heres a story to pee u off

(CONTAINS S T R O N G LANGUAGE NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED)

Jess woken up on a normal day, she brushed her hair and noodled her way in her noodle-ma-bill to school throughthe drains. She then put in her KSI bandana in her hair (Thanks ollie, u turd) and parked it up beep beep.

Then she got to school and everyone started clapping like seals, she was confusion

"Hey my LAD well done" Ismahan said and went back to her over sized Samsung phone idk doing the insta. "Yeah my DUDE congrats" Jocelyn said mystically from under her off brand hoopy putter cloak. She then whipped out her phone to ready 50 shades of maze runner. "What is everyone on about?" Jess thought but didn't say nothing and gracefully accepted all the roses and chocolates she was getting from everyone. Then she was faced Sweaty man Spence.

"Well done Jessina ma-maina, banina fofana mo-mana noodle for your newly and very EXPECTED wattpad fame, we have had many companies sponsor wanting to sponsor starting with us, Metro Bus-" She was confusion squared. She then decided to check her phone and zone out of Sweaty man spence talking. She checked contie. Her jaw was dropping, drop, dropped. She was so gob smacked of the sight in front of her she nearly transformed accidently her tru enoodle identity. She then decided to put her heavy metal music in her ears. it said that contie had 34,546,787,654,323,456,789,098,765,437,876,543,234,567,898,765,432,356,789,876,543,245,678,987,654,323,456,789,876,543,234,567,899,876,543,234,567,898,765,432,123,456,789,098,765,432,234,567,898,765,432,145,678,987,654,324,567,898,765,433,456,789,876,543,236,789,098,765,432,356,789,876,543,226,789,9876,543,245,678,909,876,543,345,678,909,876,543,267,890,987,654,367,890,987,654,325,678,900,987,654,321,998,765,432,456,789,098,765,432,235,678,909,876,543,235,678,909,876,543,234,567,898,765,432,456,789,987,654,323,456,789,098,765,432,345,678,998,765,432,145,678,876,543,223,456,789,876,543,212,345,679,876,543,224,567,890,987,654,323,456,789,098,765,432,345,678,987,654,322,789,876,543,098,765,437,800,987,654,321,167,898,765,432,167,890,987,654,322,567,890,987,654,322,998,765,432,900,987,654,323,456,789,098,765,432,123,456,789,009,876,543,215,678,909,876,543,223,456,789,098,765,432,345,678,909,876,543,212,456,789,009,876,543,212,345,678,987,654,321,278,909,876,543,211,345,678,900,987,654

Views

She

Was

VERY HAPPY

she started wiggling around.

"OH JESSINA..... ARE YOU OKAY?" spencey stopped talking because he thought jess was having a fit.

"No no I am fine!" She said her voice breaking into a girly squeal. "So as I was saying cuntie-" She blinked and her voice returned to normal.

"WhAt DiD yOu SaY sIr?"she was getting very angry (borderline Kayleigh angry) at his pronunciation.

"I sAid CuNtIe NoW don't yOu RaISe YoUr ToNe WiTh Me MiSsY oR I WiLl Be FoRcEd To WiThDrAW OuR sPonSerShIp Of 50p FrOm ThE MaNgO 50 YoU hEaR mE aNd YoU dOnT wAnT tHaT dO YoU?" she shuddered in response, and he nodded at her "that's what I thought" and he waddled up to go see his bestie security steve to have a sleepover and gossip ab bois.

She was mega mega FUMING by the time she wriggled her way over to her friends.

"Oi you kno dr david he called contie a bad word!"she gotten out her toilet bloody sandwhich and taken a huge manly munch, and then chewed in anger. Everyone else though craned their neck round at her.

"oi fam did u have voice break innit fought it supposta to be =cuntie?" Kaleigh bellowed from Jupiter (Also slang includes maths signs??) Jess screeched.

"THAT LANGUAGE IS UNACCEPTABLE" her teeth ground together like chalkboard and made everyone cover their ears from the pain.

"Are you okay Jess?" Jocelyn shouted over the awful noise "Why so angry, you have the best book on wattpad, cuntie is great" Jess screamed in agony.

" ITS IS CONTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" She then grown into one of those things from power rangers n started terrorising mangotsfield school, then she shrunk back down to size. she then went to where her noodle ma bill was parked up but saw it had a fining ticket on there for £9876545678. She was angry again but this time grew so big she destroyed the world in one step.

and she woke up. "That was a crazy dream lads" she then hopped skipped jumped out of bed to look at contie views. it was still at 7.

'oh well'she thought and then fell back asleep.

Fin

that was fun

Again jessnoodle ur story is best story!!!!!!!

References-

I don't have heavy metal but I have beyonce

Have I done that one

if so heres another from the same thing:
You are not the burger king, I am the burger king