Complexes (LGBT) (boyxboy)

chapter 20

Chapter 20

We were in Lucas' room this afternoon. Our little secret rendezvous' had quickly become my favorite thing over the past few days. It felt so weird to officially be in a relationship, especially with a guy, but as soon as I was alone with him it felt like the most normal thing in the entire world. The week had dragged on since all the drama at the party. Things were getting back to relative normalness now, even though we knew we'd eventually have to deal with Casey and Ethan, but for right now, right this second, it was Friday afternoon and I was absolutely content with spending time with Lucas before we had to go back out to the real world. So far our relationship seemed a bit PG rated, or a lot PG rated.

It was like we had a childish crush on each other since the most we really did was secretly steal glances at each other, or hang around and study together. We hadn't really gotten past that, and it was mostly because I was too afraid to make a move because everything was so new and I didn't want to rock the boat. Right now I was writing an essay.

I was laying on Lucas' bed with my head rested on his lap and a laptop on my own lap, typing away. Lucas wasn't doing a whole lot except supervising me to make sure I actually got this done. I was pretty sure he had his done days ago. He played with my hair, his fingertips lightly massaging my head and it felt really, really nice. He made me feel so relaxed, yet at the same time my heart was racing. I didn't know whether I wanted to fall asleep or convince him to let me fuck him. That last thought came out of nowhere and I shook it from my thoughts in an instant. It was way too soon for that, or at least for him it was too soon.

"Hey, don't get distracted.

Keep working on that," he encouraged me like my own personal cheerleader. "I'm almost done.

I think I've earned a break," I said and shut the laptop.

I looked up at Lucas to see him smiling down at me as he twirled my hair with his fingers. I sighed quietly, feeling so comfortable. My heart was warmed just being this close to him. I really liked our small bits of alone time together. "Maybe we should skip practice today," I suggested. "Hmm...I don't think so. With Casey and Ethan gone, Coach would have a major freak out if we disappeared too," he pointed out. "Screw Coach," I muttered. "Don't be a baby," he teased. "I'm not being a baby," I whined, "I just wanna sEmily here with you...not having to worry about...whatever." "About keeping your distance?" he asked. "Mm..." I mumbled. Lucas gets it, he really does. He's very understanding of how I feel about all this and how I don't want to come out to everyone yet. It was terrifying to even think about doing it. I was lucky to have someone being so patient with me. "Do you think it's going to be worse with us?" he asked. "What do you mean?" "Like, because I'm Trans...people will probably be more judgy about the two of us," he said. "Probably," I said thoughtfully and paused, suddenly getting so irritated, "God, that's fucking annoying that they're gonna be..." I stopped, sighing in frustration.

I hated how the world saw Lucas. "Shh..." he hushed me, "Sweetie...relax." He called me sweetie a lot. That was something I noticed within the last few days. Surprisingly I actually really liked it.

The way he said it was so filled with affection it made me feel kind of special. He usually only said it when I was angry or worried about something. It did the trick to calm me down though, and with his fingers comfortingly running through my hair it was easy for me to relax. "Why aren't you bothered by this?" I asked. "I never said I wasn't bothered," he said.

"Well...you don't really act like you are," I said quietly. "I guess it's because I've been going through this for a while so I'm used to the judgment that comes with being different," he said it so casually, like it didn't even matter. I looked away sadly. "But it does bother me," he assured, "It bothers me a lot. Like...I don't understand why the world can't just accept everyone for who they are. We're all just humans but with different bodies, different minds, different preferences, different lifestyles...As long as no one is hurting then there shouldn't be a problem. Like...it's not that difficult to be a nice person."