Complexes (LGBT) (boyxboy)

chapter 11

Chapter 11

I sat in class.

Professor Martin already started the lecture and Lucas' absence was not lost on me. His usual seat down the front of the lecture hall was occupied by someone else and he was nowhere to be seen. I found myself feeling a little anxious. Knowing that people like Ethan were out to get him made me nervous.

The nerves quickly left when I saw him rushing through the door, momentarily distracting Professor Martin.

I made a mental note to get his phone number some time so I could call or text him next time I was worried. He didn't have many friends so he probably needed someone looking out for him, and honestly I didn't exactly hate the idea of being that person.

I watched Lucas as he stopped, his eyes landing on where he normally sat. He looked around for a vacant seat.

Eddie was on one side of me, and Casey on his other side, leaving the space to my right with no one there. His gaze caught mine and I motioned for him to come over. He smiled and made his way over to me as Professor Martin continued on with the lecture.

"Somebodies late..." I spoke to Lucas quietly as his frazzled self made himself comfortable next to me. "Somebody overslept," he whispered back. "That's what you get for staying up all night talking to attractive boys in bathrooms," I said. I frowned at my own words. That was a really weird thing to say.

Sometimes I wondered if I even had a brain. "Right..." He laughed under his breath, "That's all your fault though." "You're the one that sEmilyed to talk," I pointed out.

Professor Martin loudly cleared his throat from the front of the room. I looked at him and half the class who were staring back at Lucas and myself.

I didn't even notice it had gotten so quiet in here. Professor Martin's disapproving face was enough to make me sink back into my chair and keep my mouth closed.

He went on talking to the class and everyone looked away from us. Lucas and I glanced at each other, both of us started giggling at being the disruptions of the class.

I tried to wipe the smile off my face as I attempted to pay attention, but I couldn't. I felt like I was back on the football field hanging out with him. I was starting to see a lot more of Lucas' personality and realized that I already knew what his personality was like since I spent a lot of time observing him in high school. Seeing it again was like meeting up with an old friend. I felt undeniably strange though.

My feelings towards Lucas were weird to me and I was unable to completely pin-point them. I actually really wanted to spend time with him.

I enjoyed his company. We were quickly becoming friends, but talking to him made me feel all warm inside. It was kind of like how you feel when you go home after months of not being there.

I couldn't describe it any better than that, even to myself. It was probably because I knew him in high school, sort of, and was just feeling nostalgic about that. I never felt this way about any of my other male friends, and I never felt this about a girl, whether they were a friend or something more.

I just felt different, but the feeling was good and one that I wanted to keep experiencing. I felt like I was in a constant state of confusion lately. The thing that comforted me the most was that these thoughts were all in my head and no one else knew them.

No one could use them against me and that was a good thing because I needed them to sEmily with myself until I figured out what the hell was going on with me. As long as no one knew, no damage could be done. I was just going to continue being Lucas' friend because I liked it. I enjoyed being around him, even if we were just sitting here in silence.