Complexes (LGBT) (boyxboy)

chapter 42

Chapter 42

When I woke up on the couch the next morning, Lucas wasn't with me. We fell asleep together watching TV, but now he was gone.

I lay there for a few moments, thinking about the previous day and what was to come today. Mostly I was just gathering my thoughts.

A lot had gone on lately. It felt like I hadn't gotten a second break for the past two months, not that I minded Lucas being the reason for that. I eventually got up in search of Lucas.

We didn't talk much last night so I knew we were probably in for a good chat this morning. It was a chat I was nervous for. I went to look for him anyway. I checked his room, but he wasn't in there.

After aimlessly wandering around, I made my way to the back porch. I peered through the sliding glass window and saw Lucas out there.

I quietly slid the door open and stepped out. He was sitting there on one of the sun lounges, looking out at the beach that was in the distance. He didn't take any note of me being there. "Hey." I got his attention. He looked up at me. "Oh, hey." He said with a small smile. I sat on the sun lounge next to his but faced him, still watching him. It was a cool, windy morning and he was snuggled up, cutely I might add, in a hoodie.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked. "Uncomfortably," He laughed a little, "But alright." "Nervous about today?" I asked. "Of course I am." He said like it was obvious. "Sorry, dumb question." I mumbled.

I felt so nervous talking to him. I cried like a baby in front of him last night.

I completely lost it after seeing those pictures of him. I felt a little bit embarrassed, but it was good to get it out.

The morning after something like that was always kind of weird. "No, it's okay." He said simply.

I nodded and got a bit more comfortable on the sun lounge. We sat in silence for a while. It was really beautiful out here. It was a shame this place was basically ruined for Lucas now. "We need to talk about us." He broke the silence. "We don't have to right now. We can wait until we get back home." I told him.

"No, we need to." He said, turning his head to look at me.

He was right.

Putting it off like this sucked.

It was like we were in a constant limbo of not knowing where we stood with each other and we needed to sort it out. I would have loved to tell Lucas to forget everything that's happened so we could get back together, but we couldn't do that.

There was too much to talk about and it couldn't be ignored. "Okay, but we need-" "Full honesty?" He finished my sentence. "Yeah, no holding back." I said, and I meant it. I was done with keeping things from him, and with him keeping things from me. "You first." He said a little cautiously.

That made sense.

Might as well start from the beginning. "Okay," I said, thinking of all the things I wanted to tell him, "I'm sorry for lying to you about studying that afternoon. I shouldn't lie to you at all. If anything I learnt that lying is never a good idea when you're in a relationship." "So why did you then? Why didn't you just tell me you didn't want to go out on a date?" He asked. "Because I knew how you'd react. You'd be offended." I said. "I was..." He paused, "I mean, I just didn't get it.

One second you're kissing me in front of everyone at the game, and the next you barely want to be seen touching me." "It wasn't anything to do with you." I said, and he said nothing but gave me a look like he was expecting further information. "Look, I know it might not seem like that big of a deal to you, but my friends were all treating me differently and I didn't like it. I wanted things to go back to normal." I explained. "Normal as in without me?" He asked. "No, no. Not like that at all.