sometimes

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sometimes things get too loud
a sensory overload
everything is too much
i become overwhelmed

sometimes things get too soft
i feel nothing
a numbness i can't describe
somewhat empty

sometimes my dark thoughts creep up on me
little demons
whispering the bad things
into my head

sometimes i just can't be happy
my body holds too much sadness
and it comes out
in waves

sometimes coffee isn't enough
this caffeine won't work
i can't stay awake
my mind is up but my soul is tired

sometimes i don't know what to say
words that used to flow are gone
lingering on pages
whispers of what should have been said

sometimes the work piles up
papers and assignments
littering my bed
and cluttering my brain

sometimes i push people away
when i need them most
the distance
is really just a cry for help

sometimes i can't eat
or i can't stop eating
either way
food comes and goes

sometimes i feel sick
hot and cold
a pounding in my skull
medicine can't help me now

sometimes my best isn't enough
we don't always win
i expect so much from myself
i can't reach my own standards

sometimes the anxiety is overbearing
too much thinking
i can't focus
on what needs to get done

sometimes i joke that
i want to drown
i want to jump
i want to stop breathing

sometimes I'm not joking

*****

sometimes i want to scream

~Luna Galaxy, a fallen star

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