The answers to all the questions are in those letters. But what if you're not ready for the answers? What if it was better to not know the answers? Sometimes it's better to know nothing at all, but sometimes we have to know everything. Jungkook can'...
When I was 14 we went to the beach in the summer at your uncle's house. We had to share a room since he was an artist and used two rooms for his art supplies. I still remember the first impression he had of me. 'Such a cute little boy, so tiny and adorable. He looks like a bunny.' he said. I was smaller than you back then and I barely worked out. I blushed so hard then, I was so shy and introverted. The first day we couldn't do much, we just walked on the beach. We wanted to watch the sunset but your uncle came after us to eat dinner. After we got home we played video games for a couple of hours before we went to bed. The first night was fine, a little hard to sleep as it was a new bed to me. The next day we went to the beach and swam. We had a lot of fun there, I was so excited and we lost track of time. It was about 4 or 5 in the afternoon when we left the beach, but we didn't go home. You knew an arcade room and we stayed there until 7. When the sun was preparing to set we hurried to the beach. Your uncle worked that night. We stayed until after the sunset and looked at the starry night sky. When we got home it was almost midnight and your uncle was still away. You found a note from him, saying he was staying over at a friend's house and that we had food in the fridge. We ate some of it before eating all the snacks and sweets we found in the cabinets. We had a sugar rush and couldn't sleep until 3:30 am. You fell asleep and I stayed some more. As I was laying in bed I looked at you. My 3 am thoughts were blurry and I blamed it on the sugar rush. My thoughts were like this: 'he's so beautiful', 'what would his lips taste like', 'could I kiss him?'. I leaned closer to you and stayed like that for a few minutes, with my lips hovering over yours. I barely even breathed, too scared that I would wake you up. For a moment I was considering pressing a soft kiss on your lips, just a short one and you wouldn't know. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. Come to think of it, I am glad I didn't. I wasn't, am not and will never be like that. After that I couldn't sleep and I went in one of your uncle's art rooms, the one he said we could use if we wanted to paint for fun. That was the very first time I let myself paint freely. I used to draw and paint from time to time, but never what I really wanted. When I finished it was past the dawn. I felt relieved, like I took a heavy rock off of my heart. As I looked at the painting I realized what I chose to deny for months, I finally accepted myself. Your uncle scared me then. He saw the light turned on in the room and came to see who it was. When he saw my painting he smiled and hugged me. He then asked me for how long I knew. I told him that I thought about that for a few months, but only then I accepted that. That painting, you know it. It was a boy on the beach, near the water. You asked who it was and I lied, saying it was a boy that I saw the day before on the beach. Luckily you didn't realize who it was, I painted the hair a different color. But it was you. You are the boy on the beach.
Here is that painting. When I got home I painted two more, in different positions.
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