five

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First year of high school.
Nothing much for me in the first semester. But by the end of it, it was like hell came down on me.
You convinced me to tell my parents. Bad idea as my father is a huge homophobic. It was Sunday evening when I told them. That day we went to church, my father is extremely religious.
He got so mad when I told them, he started shouting. He called me names, he said I was a shame, a mistake of a child. 'God is disappointed in you' he said.
That night I would have cried until I had no tears left.
But I couldn't.
I said I would call you.
But I couldn't.
The next day I didn't show up at school.
You came over to my place after school and knocked on the door. Nobody answered. You stayed there for hours and fell asleep on the porch.
Lucky you, it was mum who found you.
She invited you in and gave you hot chocolate.
'Where is Jeonggukie?'
'He is in hospital.'
Were you hurt when you heard that? I know you hated when I was sick. You said you hate it when I'm in the hospital.
I'm sorry.
I'm here again.
It wasn't my choice.

Stuck in here again. But this time you didn't come to visit. I miss your visits.

 I miss your visits

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