Walk With Me

Catalyst's Attack

At first until the end, reading the works of Pope Francis is always full of surprises in the context of firmness, mercy and joy.  In those works of his, I realized that there's inside me saying and desiring "I want to become a Pope." However, when I realized the Pope's stand on careerism, then I realized I should not desire to become a Pope but rather a holy Christian in all seconds of my existence.

What struck me in his words and works is his holiness. The holiness of his is manifested in many distinct ways. An example of this is his abundant time for the ordinary and the distressed than the rich and powerful.  He further emphasized the call of having a smell of the sheep for the pastors who forgotten their duty of being a shepherd. Thus his action towards it is exemplary where he questioned many priests who live in vanity. To answer the many anomalies that the church is struggling in the past, a solid stand was pursued by Pope Francis to become more transparent in the money matters inside the Vatican Bank.

Divergent with the Pope's achievements, I on the contrary have spent lots of money in what I've realized- vanity. Vanity was in the form of buying Garnier eye roll on, buying big cans of Piknik excessively and buying shirts just for the sake of buying. There and then I realized that I was not a good neighbor to the poor where and when I don't feel them by the very lavish life that I live.

I remember what Pope Francis said that the Church is a house of joy, not a refuge for sad people. Honestly, I am sad deep inside but before I don't know why it is happening. Then here comes, the deeper understanding on myself. I already know why am sad it is because I am not yet really open and I'm too fixed on what I believe. Thus, I want to exclude, fixing myself before going back to my community. So the tendency that was proven a lot of times is the sense of my judgment and prejudices towards any person whom I think don't deserve trust. However, the sensational statement of Pope Francis resounded on my head, "Who Am I to judge?"

Further, what challenges me today to become a better Christian is the urge of the Pope for the entire Catholic Population where he states, "I dream of a 'missionary option', that is, a missionary impulse capable of transforming everything, so that the church's customs, ways of doing things, times and scheduled, language and structures can be suitably channeled for the evangelization of today's world, rather than for self preservation."

Perhaps, instead of being too conscious and too preserved with the self's character (that frequently judges), I should now begin to be daring in the faith by seeking to understand everyone's behavior and to be understood. There, I believe if I will think I am also muddied then I shall know how to be truly humble. And in this sense, I believe true humility will breed joy, joy breeds greater joy and greater joy finds the greatest- Jesus.

In God's time hopefully I can be an instrument of his grace by the very grace He bestows.