Avengers | BTS Crackfic (𝗆𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗂)

0.8 panda express

a hungry jungkook, an excited taehyung, a tired yoongi, and a loud hoseok with a camera in his hand made their way to an escalator to go to Panda Express, which was on the floor just below them.

as they got on the escalator, they heard an announcement booming through the speakers all around the mall, "a smol boy wearing glasses has been caught flirting with the cashier, he is currently being held in our custody in the guards' room. i request his parents to come get this midget as soon as they can, thank you. "

"welp", taehyung snickered, "there goes jimin hyung"

hoseok slapped him on the back of his head, "shut up," he said pointing the camera on his face, "he'll be worried we can't just leave him there, we're a team we stick together just like yoongi's ass cheeks."

yoongi instantly blushed, lightly punching hoseok on his shoulder, "d-don't say shit like that in public."

hoseok winked at him.

"aNYGAYS", taehyung cleared his throat, "i don't think they'll let him leave with us, they clearly said his parents should go get him"

jungkook nodded, "jin hyung's with his doppelganger," squinting his eyes at hoseok, he added "and the last time i saw namjoon hyung was right before you scared him away"

hoseok guiltily looked away.

"can y'all play housewives when we're done eating, im fucking starving" yoongi whined.

they all nodded and walked to panda express in silence, too tired and hungry to make any conversation.

as they entered, taehyung excitedly yelled, "ONIONHASEYO YEORUBUN!!"

the next moment was a blur to all four of them as taehyung was suddenly being attacked by three men dressed in black suits, pinning him to the ground on his stomach and handcuffing his hands on his back.

jungkook, yoongi, and hoseok just stood there, watching in awe.

"WAAEEE?????!!?" taehyung growled as he struggled to get out of their grip, "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??"

"SHUT YOUR KOREABOO ASS THE FUCK UP", one of the men in black shouted back, "WE ARE THE KOREABOO POLICE HERE TO RESTORE JUSTICE AND WIPE ALL KOREABOOS FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH"

the man sitting with all his weight on taehyung's even took out a badge and shoved it in his face to prove it.

taehyung suddenly laughed at this and attempted to speak, "y-you've got to be kidding me," he laughed again, "first of all, i can't believe there's a thing called koreaboo police im 100% sure now you're pranking me, " he laughed again and added, "secondly, i am korean, you blind bitch iM OBVIOUSLY GOING TO SPEAK KOREAN THE FUCK?"

suddenly one of them grabbed a handful of his hair and hit his head on the ground with a loud ow coming from taehyung, he spoke, "mr. koreaboo you are under arrest for completely denying the fact that we exist and for attempting to speak korean"

taehyung's eyes widened, "what the fu-

quickly one of them taped his mouth with duct tape, "anything you say now will be held against you in court."

yoongi just snickered and whispered to hoseok, "kinky."

hoseok and yoongi burst into laughter as taehyung just watched his friends laughing at his misery.

jungkook attempted to block their path as they picked up taehyung, "we're literally the avengers, you can't possibly arrest on of us. we save people!"

the man carrying taehyung scoffed, "the law doesn't bend for the avengers. koreabooism is a deadly disease slowly spreading and it's up to us to stop the ones causing it."

"b-but", jungkook struggled to come up with an argument, the man was right.

"step aside, kid," the man lightly pushed jungkook out of his way and they proceeded to exit panda express.

jungkook sulked, looking back at yoongi and hoseok giggling together like middle-school girls. he just let his bestfriend, part-time homie, full-time bro get away, and he couldn't do anything about it. a pout formed on his lips as he thought about what he should've done. *insert some sad bts lyrics in italic maybe the truth untold*-

"jungfuck",yoongi interrupted his train of thoughts that was going downhill,"you look like someone re-did your laundry cos you forgot to tell them you've already done it."

"I'm going to go get some fresh air", jungkook quietly muttered as he left hoseok and yoongi.

"fucking ungrateful dramatic ass bitches", yoongi said, shaking his head, "can't even sit down to have a meal."

the both of them then rushed to the counter as they didn't have anything to eat since morning, and ordered for themselves.

as hoseok carried their food trays to the table, yoongi spoke, "i need to take a shit, I'll be back in a sec"

hoseok nodded, not really paying attention to yoongi, he jUST WANTED TO EAT.HIS.FOOD.

so he quickly sat down and shoved the food down his oesophagus.

minutes passed. yoongi still hadn't returned.

"where the fuck is yoongay" hoseok scoffed. he had finished his food and was now staring at yoongi's tray. he was mentally contemplating if he should eat yoongi's food or not. he was still very hungry. and the black bean noodles looked very tempting.

"just one bite then", he settled it to himself.

"maybe one more"

"just one more"

and with that he had wiped yoongi's tray clean as the older still hadn't come back.

hours had passed

when hoseok was done eating, he grew a little worried and uncomfortable, he didn't even listen when yoongi had told him where he was going. where are you hyung? he thought anxiously.

》__________________《

yoongi deadass DIPPED on his boyfriend LMAOOOOOSHJS anyways, i love cLiFfhAnGeRz uwu

also pls check out my other works if u want uwu u won't regret it (i think?)

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