Avengers | BTS Crackfic (𝗆𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗂)

1.1 crackhead company

jimin struggled to free his hand that had been handcuffed to the table for the past three hours. he was being kept in custody of the mall police just because he had attempted to flirt with one of the cashiers.

although his initial response to being handcuffed was, "nice, i like things like this". here he was, now, hissing in pain.

jimin thought he was going to die. he wondered what explanation the guys would give his family about his death. he could already imagine jungkook saying "oh yeah, park jimin died because he flirted. i mean, he was so bad at it, they just had to kill him. but hey, I'm not complaining."

and seokjin saying, "well you definitely can't call it 'harmless flirting' then, can you?" and then breaking into a fit of laughter.

while namjoon sadly muttered, "his death was a tragic accident, really"

and yoongi interrupting him with, "hey accidents happen. how do you think taehyung and jungkook got here?"

and hoseok just wheezing in response.

just as jimin's mind wandered off to what his bestfriend, his soulmate, taehyung would have to say about his unfortunate death, the door of the small room burst open, making jimin flinch.

and in came three men, dressed like the matrix. one of them had a body thrown over his shoulder so casually, as if he was getting paid to do this. jimin wondered if he was. he gulped, gathering enough courage to speak, "h-hey, who are you and what do you think you're do-"

"shut up, shorty", one of them deadpanned, looking at jimin through his sunglasses. he looked like a sim, jimin thought, waiting for instructions.

jimin's eyes widened as the man suddenly slammed the body on the table in front of him with a thud, a loud oWW! emitting from the supposedly alive body.

he just sat there, confusedly watching the drama taking in place in front of him. the body- no, the man - now sat up on the table, with his back facing jimin.

one of the terminator-looking men removed his glasses and began to speak, "now we're going to lock you in here till you learn how to behave, respect and not imitate Koreans".

"for the hundredth time now," the voice from the man on the table spoke, "i am korean, i wasn't fucking trying to imitate anyone. and by the way, i don't even think you're korean, your dumbass look chinese to me."

now, that was a mistake as it resulted in him getting smacked in the head by the said chinese man as he yelled, "bITCH I'M FROM HONG KONG!"

"jackson, calm your tits," a third voice interrupted, separating a wild jackson from his korean victim.

the fourth man from matrix then sighed and spoke, "he's just mad we arrested him from panda express, the poor guy was just tryna eat. can you blame him though?", he shook his head in pity, "in fact, i think we should let him go-"

but just as he was about to finish the sentence, jackson lunged himself towards the younger. baekhyun quickly holding jackson's arms to stop him from committing a murder.

jackson yelled,"HOLD ME BACK, BAEKHYUN! FUCKING HOLD ME BACK" as he was struggling to move in a surprisingly strong baekhyun's hold. baekhyun shouted annoyingly, "that's what I'M FUCKING DOING BITCHASS"

jimin silently wished he had popcorn right now to go with the drama unveiling itself in front of him.

as jackson calmed down, anger still evident on his face, baekhyun spoke in a stern voice, "hyunjin. can you do me a favour?"

hyunjin quickly nodded like a puppy.

"please shut the fuck up", baekhyun said, tired of both of his coworkers.

jimin wasn't the one with a death wish but he just wanted tp get out of here. he was either going to die sitting here, or would get killed by one of the angry terminators, so he spoke, "uhm guys?"

they all turned to look at him, jimin not noticing the face of the man on the table.

"hi. it's been a pleasure meeting you all, but i need to get the fuck out of here i have stuff to-"

"jiminie?" the voice interrupted.

jimin's eyes widened, "taehyung? what are you doing here??"

"they're the koreaboo police so they arrested me and brought me here of course, they think I'm a koreaboo," taehyung rolled his eyes.

jimin suddenly let out a laugh. all four men now looking weirdly at him.

"wha- what?", jimin spoke as his laughter died down, "you're kidding, right?"

taehyung shook his head.

jimin cleared his throat and looked up at the koreaboo police, "listen, sir, i think there's been a mistake and-"

"listen, asswipe," jackson interrupted, pointing his finger in jimin's direction, "the only mistake here in this world, is your existence. so I'd appreciate it if you shut the frick up."

hyunjin gasped, his hand covering his mouth, "hyung that was mean."

jackson shrugged.

in the next few minutes, hyunjin had brought taehyung a chair to sit on. and he was too, handcuffed to the table alongside jimin.

the koreaboo police had left, jackson saying they'd be back after attending to some business, looking handsome than ever before. at which hyunjin had rolled his eyes and gotten smacked in the head from jackson with a flip flop.

jimin smiled contently as it was only him and his bestfriend in the locked room then. well, atleast he had good company now-

"do you think there are rabbits on the moon?" taehyung suddenly spoke.

jimin sighed and hoped his friends were thinking of some way to get him out of here.

》__________________《

omg one of my followers added this to a list called 'tf is this' and honestly, same, ion even know tf im even writing.

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