The Lethal Blue Idiot

Chapter 5 - Tanks for the ride

"Huh." Caboose said as he watch the Red's attack his team who were currently on the cliffs. "I didn't know you could put a machine gun a Jeep that way. I thought it would cause problems when driving. I guess I was wrong then." Caboose said.

He then looked towards the tank. "Guess I need to save my team now. Hope it comes it with a how to drive guide." He says to himself.

He then proceeded to get in the tank. 'How do I turn this thing on?'

"Hello," A voice from the tank said, surprising him. "thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila."

"Hello. Sheila. Big tank lady." Caboose said.

"Would you like me to run the tutorial program?" She asked.

"Oh, that'd be very nice. Thank you." He already knew how to drive a tank, but he hasn't done so in a long time. Might as well learn any new features they might have added.

"Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel in the use of the Scorpion class tank. Let's begin with some driving."

Timeskip

"This is not going well." Caboose said as he was driving up a rock.

"Now that you've mastered driving the M808V, let's move on to some of the safety features." Shelia said cheerfully.

"Um, Shelia, I've been meaning to ask, why do you have six pedals?"

"This is the default design for tanks past the year 2542."

'Huh... Go figure.' Caboose thought to himself. He then manages to back up the tank. I think I got the new controls figured out. He then sees the red out of their Jeep. 'Looks like my chance.'

He then drives up to them, only here partially what the yellow one was saying.

"...sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day long." The yellow one said.

"Well at least that was fun." The maroon said to his companion. He assume their companions from the way they argue. They then turn to see him.

"Holy crap. What's in god's name is that thing?" The yellow one said.

"It's a tank dumbass."

"I know that idiot," he replied, "What's it doing here?"

"I think it's here to help the blues." The maroon one deduce. Caboose stop listening to him to hear what Shelia was saying.

"...This tank is equipped with an auto-fire sequence, that can be activated by pressing the auto-fire button." Caboose then started looking for the auto fire button, completely missing what she said next. "This will end the tutorial, and should only be activated in conjunction with the friendly fire feature online, otherwise you will accidentally kill your other teammates..."

"Auto-fire, auto-fire, here, here! No, wait... okay that's more a switch than a button..." He muttered. After a few minutes he found it. Why was the Auto-fire partially hidden behind his chair? That didn't make any sense. "There." He said as he flipped the switch.

"Tutorial deactivated. Auto-fire sequence activated." The tank began searching for any moving targets. She began tracking the orange soldier to the Jeep. "Target acquired."

While the auto fire sequence attacks all targets indiscriminately, it still has a priority list. The first on the list is fleeing enemy combatants. This is because it will discourage any enemy's from leaving the battle and getting into more tactical positions.

She tracked him running to the Jeep. Her priorities switch from the soldier to the Jeep. She had to take out the Jeep. "Target locked. Firing main cannon."

Shelia shot at the Jeep causing it to fly into the air. Everyone outside the tank started cursing. Caboose started chasing after them with the tank. Eventually he lost track of them because he found an instruction manual under his seat.

"All targets eliminated. Acquiring new target." Shelia said. Caboose looks up to see that she had firing at a rock for the past five minutes.

He went back to his reading. He was reading the part about the auto-fire sequence. That's when he heard Church shout at him.