With and Without You (A Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

4

She sat at her desk and could still feel their last kiss on her lips. Her fingers moved up to touch her lips. A smile spread across her face. She typed up her interview so she could send her draft to her editor. She needed to get home so she could get ready for the show tonight. For the first time in a long time she was really looking forward to something. Life hadn't always been good to her when it came to her love life. Jordan had been her first love. Hell he'd been her last love. There had never been anyone that compared to what she'd felt for Jordan. She tried not to think to much about things, or she would overthink it to death. She just wanted to have a good time and catch up with Jordan. She'd really like to get to know him again.

Jordan was trying to keep his mind on the show tonight. But all he could think about all day was Vivian. He was excited about seeing her again. He wanted so badly for her to stay in his life. He'd missed her so much. She had his heart. She'd had his heart since he first met her 11 years ago. He felt like last night was all a dream. And if it was a dream he hoped he never woke up.

He was getting ready to go onstage and he still hadn't seen Vivian. He started to worry she wasn't going to show up. He had his manager check to see if she had picked up her pass yet. They said she had, so she was already here somewhere. He really wanted to see her before the show. Everytime someone walked in the dressing room door, he would turn and look for her. There was no sign of her, but he knew she was in the building. It was time for the show to start. He'd just have to hope he'd see her in the crowd or after the show. Walking to the stage, he was talking to his manager about something and he almost missed her. She was walking in his direction, he had to do a double take. She stopped right in front of him. She was wearing some skin tight jeans, a tight black tank top, and her black converse. Jordan was speechless, she looked so beautiful. His words wouldn't come out, so he did the only thing he could do. He pulled Vivian into his arms and kissed her. He kissed her so passionately he forgot where he was. His manager had to tap him on the shoulder, he was going to be late. Jordan and Vivian both blushed. It was like they were 17 again.

Jordan had set up a seat right at the side of the stage for her. She took her seat and watched Jordan take the stage. Watching him sing on that big stage reminded her of the first time she heard him sing. He'd sang for her on the beach, the day after they met. She was visiting her dad in Boston for Spring Break her Junior year old high school. She was only 17 then. He'd sang Foreigner's "Waiting For a Girl Like You" she knew then that one day he'd be a star. She could never get enough of him singing to her. He sang to her all the time after that night. She knew he was right where he belonged. She'd made the right choice nine years ago, there was no doubt in her mind now.

He came over and sat down on the edge of the stage facing her. He began singing "I'll Be Lovin You Forever" right to her. Having her here while he sang the first song he ever wrote about her warmed his heart. She never took her eyes off him as he sang to her. Her eyes filled with tears. When he finished the song he blew her a kiss and she blew one back to him. She was happier than she could ever remember being. Since the day she walked away from him her life has been one emotional disaster after another. But right now in this moment all that seems to begin to melt away.

His next song is one called Broken By You. He never comes near her side of the stage. It's like he doesn't want to look at her while he sings about his heart being broken. She feels terrible again for having left him without a word. She knows she's going to have to explain her reason for leaving. This thought is terrifying to her. Her thoughts go back to all the bad things that have happened to her. Terror has ruled her life for so long, she just wants to be past her past.

Jordan comes off the stage, sweaty and looking so sexy. Vivian can't believe how in his element he is. He was so amazing up there on the stage. She is so proud of him. Its hard for her to look at this man standing before her and not see that boy he once was. But he isn't that boy anymore. She sits back and watches him interact with his fans. He's great with them. He has so much love for them. She notices a few of the girls he's talking to point over at her. Jordan brings them over to meet her. Its overwhelming to her, he tells them "This is Vivian. She was the muse for all my early music. She was my first love back when we were 17" They all look at her, with jealousy in their eyes. She's sure no fan of his wants to believe he's ever had a girlfriend or will ever have a girlfriend. But the girls were all really sweet and interested in her. Well they all wanted to know what Jordan was like as a teen and a boyfriend. Vivian enjoyed telling them about how sweet and loving he was when back then. They loved hearing her stories about teenage Jordan singing to her on the beach. And about him and her writing letters while they were apart. Then they all wanted to know why they broke up. She didn't know what tell them about this. So she looked to Jordan for help. He saved her by saying "Ladies, come on now, you don't want to rehash the worst day of my life do you". The girls all turned to Vivian like she was again the villain in his story. Jordan laughed at their looks and decided it was time to say good night to his fans.

Vivian knew she had to tell him why she left. She had a good reason and she thought he'd finally understand. After seeing him tonight she knew it was the right decision for them. He belonged on that stage. She knew that. She knew if she would have stayed, he would have given up his dream of being a singer. He would have never left her alone while she was pregnant to chase his dream. He would have stayed, married her, and raised their child. And then today they would have a nine year old child and lots of resentment and broken dreams.