With and Without You (A Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

Chapter 11

Jordan was dumbfounded and pissed. He wasn't sure what just happened. He knows he must have heard wrong, or maybe he dialed the wrong number. "This is Erik, her boyfriend". Her boyfriend or her ex boyfriend? If he was still her ex then why was he answering her phone? Vivian had told Jordan he could call at anytime because she had her own line on her bedroom. If he was her ex why was he answering the phone in her bedroom? He wanted to call her right back see what was going on. He had just gotten a letter from her today, could she have already changed her mind about him that fast? Surely not. There had to be a good explanation. He didn't believe Vivian would do anything to hurt him. He'd give it a little while and if she didn't call him back, he'd try her again. Wow, that's new Jordan thought. Normally he'd just believe his first feeling and fly off the handle or do something really stupid. If this had happened in the past, he would already be calling some random girl for sex, because that would be the sure fire way to hurt Vivian the most. He'd burn the whole relationship to the ground, and never look back. No fuss, no muss.

Something was different this time though. Vivian was what was different this time. She was someone he found extremely interesting. She was special. She was everything he ever wanted in a girl. Except she was so fucking far away. He was never the jealous or untrusting type. He was either one hundred percent in or one hundred percent out. With Jordan there was no in between. And right now with Vivian he was so in.

Jordan picked up the phone and dialed her number. This time it was her sweet voice he heard on the other line. "Hello."

"Hey there beautiful." "Jordan! Oh my gosh I'm so happy to hear your sexy voice. Its been a helluva week. I was meaning to call you right after school..."

"But something else came up?" Damn, even he heard the bite in his voice.

"No...um well yes I guess so. When I got home, Erik stopped by, said I owed him five minutes to explain. So I let him sit and explain his bullshit reason for breaking up with me while I packed three years worth of his stuff into a box for him to take with him when he left. So how was your week"?

Jordan carefully considered what she said and he believed her, but he had questions. "So you didn't get back together?"

"Oh God no. I'd never go back to someone who treated me like that. I can't even look at him anymore. Its like all the feelings I had for him those three years are gone. Once I'm done, I'm done. I don't give a lot of second chances. Not when someone has broken my heart like he did."

Jordan was quiet for a few seconds, then he said, "I called you this afternoon. Erik answered your phone. He said he was your boyfriend. So I had to ask before I let it completely consume my thoughts. I'm happy to hear you didn't go back to him."

Vivian felt a flash of anger at Erik for doing that shit. She'd have a few choice words for him Monday at school. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry he did that. I went into the bathroom for like two minutes. He didn't tell me you called, which I guess isn't surprising. Jordan I won't be getting back with him. I can promise you that. I like someone else now, someone who is so sweet and thoughtful. Someone who is kind and generous. Not to mention someone who is fucking drop dead gorgeous and a extremely talented singer."

"Well this someone of yours sounds like a real catch. You should definitely hang onto him. Those kinds of guys don't come around very often."

Vivian laughed at him. "Yeah we'll see if he continues to be so great after a few more months without any sex..." she snickered a little. Jordan spoke at this comment, "Why do you always think it'll be the lack of sex that will send me running? I'm not your ex, and I've never liked anyone this much, in my life. I've got it bad for you Vivian, you're all I think about, Jesus girl this is so not like me. And I think that's why I want to see it through. Because its not typical "Jordan" behavior. So I hope you feel the same way and want to see where this will go. Oh yeah by the way, I got your letter. You're going to make me so happy, I can already feel it. I can't wait to kiss those lovely lips of yours again. And to hold you in my arms and be able to smell your sweet scent. You're the most amazing person I've ever met. I gotta get going for now. We'll talk again really soon okay? Goodbye my sweet Vivian."

"Um, Goodbye Jordan. I'll talk to you later." She was speechless, she had no words. She was surprised how much she really liked this guy. She wished she could see him right now, so she could kiss his lips.

Jordan,

The day we met, I didn't expect
To fall for you like I did
I didn't expect for you to
Expose all that I've kept hid
You look at me and truly see
The depths of my fragile soul
You gave me hope, that one day
I might finally again be whole
You've changed my life
In the most exquisite way
You've accepted me for me
Since that very first day.
I don't know how to tell you
How much you mean to me
You're the only one I want
One day I hope you'll see.

I'm sorry, this was supposed to show you how I feel about you. I'm not very good at poetry. But I wanted to try it. I thought the song writer in you might appreciate my try.

Only one more month and I'll be able to show you in person how I feel about you.

Love,
Vivian

Jordan read her letter for about the tenth time. He thought it was the best thing he'd ever read. Because it was from her. He knew it came from her heart. And that meant more to him than anything else. He couldn't wait for the next month to pass. He couldn't wait to see her. He had hoped she'd be able to make it to his graduation. But her mother wouldn't let her come out before it was her father's time. She'd get to Boston two days after he graduated. That meant all his family that came to his graduation would be gone by the time she got here. So he wouldn't have to worry about sharing his time, he could devote all his time on her. He was anxious to find out how she planned to show him how she feels. He wondered if she was trying to tell him she was ready. Which made him nervous, in both a good way and a bad way. It made him feel good that she might care for him enough to want him to be her first. But it scared him because he wasn't sure he was ready to be someone's first. He decided not to worry about it now, he just wanted to see her. Only four more weeks!!!