With and Without You (A Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

Chapter 10

"Hi, is Jordan home"?

"Yes dear, hold on....Jordan, the phone is for you" Jordan's mom yelled to him.

"Hello." Vivian's heart fluttered when she heard his voice. "Hey, Jordan, it's Vivian."

"Hey babe, how are you?"  "I'm good, how are you?"
"I'm good too, just trying to get back into the swing of school after the best week of my life. While also missing my favorite girl"  Jordan said.

Vivian couldn't help but smile. Jordan had a way of always making her smile, "The best week of your life huh? Wow that's a lot to live up to this summer when I see you again. I've been missing you too. I was thinking about you in class today and I laughed, well everyone including my teacher heard me and I got in trouble. It was so embarrassing. "

Jordan was really interested now, "What were you thinking about? My hot bod? My soulful brown eyes? Or maybe my cute firm butt?"

Vivian laughed at him, "Well are we full of ourselves? I was actually thinking about you singing to me. I had such a terrible first day back to school. My ex pissed me off so bad. Then my teacher called me out in front of the class. I just wanted to get home and talk to you. "

Jordan felt a little, something twist in his gut at the mention of her ex boyfriend.  Was that jealousy? Surely not. Fuck man, that's exactly what it is, I'm jealous. "Why did he piss you off"?

Vivian hesitated, then asked, "You really want to know?" "Yeah, but only if you want to tell me." Jordan answered.
"Well when I got home my best friend Amy told me that Erik fucked some girl from another school. Then started talking about how much he missed and loved me and that he was going to get back together with me when I got back from Boston.  But he planned on leaving out the part about the other girl. Well he walked up behind me and I was looking at our pictures from the photo booth. He tried to give me shit about having a new "boyfriend" and I told him off. I told him it was none of his business. I can't believe I dated him for so long. It seems like compared to you every other guy is going to fall short. Why did you have to be so amazing?"

Jordan was  happy to hear she wasn't planning on getting back with her ex and that she thought he was amazing.
Vivian continued speaking, "I got your letter today. Thank you for settling my fears. I wasn't sure if you'd want to talk about your letter on the phone or not. So if you'd rather I write my response in a letter I will. I don't mind. Ya know what, I'm going to write you a letter tonight." Jordan was happy he didn't have to sound cheesy and ask her to write him a letter. But deep down that's exactly what he wanted.
Jordan didn't say anything about the letter, he just told her he missed her and couldn't wait to see her again. She told him she missed him too and was ready to see him again. They said goodbye and both promised to talk again soon.

Vivian wrote Jordan back as soon as they got off the phone.

My Dearest Jordan,

I can't even begin to tell you what my time with you over Spring Break meant to me. And then to get your letter and hear it meant a lot to you also.

When I got to Boston I was in a bad place. I was heartbroken and let down by someone who said they loved me. That very first night I met you, and you began helping me mend my heart. You'll never know what it meant to me when you said you respected my decision to wait to have sex. And you meant it. Thank you for making me feel okay again about my decision.

Meeting you was the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time. You told me in your letter that you would never hurt me on purpose. I want you to know I'd never want to see any hurt in your eyes either. Especially any caused by me.

I look forward to seeing you again this summer. I'd like to see where this can go. You make me very happy. You are an amazing man. You found a way to heal my broken heart and then steal it from me.

Here's what I really want you to know. I like you. I miss you already.  I miss kissing you. I miss talking to you and being able to see in your eyes that you are truly hearing what I'm saying. I miss everything about you really.  And I want you to know I won't be dating anyone while I'm home. Who could ever compare to you anyway?

Love,
Vivian Leigh

She finished her letter and put it in the mail. Thinking more about Jordan now than she was earlier. She really missed him. If she missed him this much after just one week of knowing him what would it be like after spending the entire summer with him? Why was she worrying about that? She knew why, because she was indeed falling for him. She already wanted him to be her first. She knew that the minute he told her he understood and respected her for remaining a virgin when she was pressured not to. She knew if they kept getting to know each other she'd never want to be apart from him. She secretly knew she was going to spend the rest of her life with him. She would keep this to herself though, she didn't want to scare him off. Maybe she could move to her Dad's for her senior year. Then she could be with Jordan. She wasn't sure her mom would let her move though. She wasn't even sure her mom would want her to go to Boston for college. She'd wait and talked to her dad first.

By Friday Vivian was definitely ready for the weekend. Every day at school Erik had found a way to talk to her. He sat next to her at lunch. She barely acknowledged him though. She wasn't interested in being with him or even being friends with him.  He had broken her heart. She did her best to ignore him at school.

Shortly after she got home from school on Friday her doorbell rang.  When she opened the door and saw it was Erik she was really annoyed. She was about to give him a piece of her mind, when he held his hands up and said, "Viv, just give me five minutes, please. Let me try and explain everything I beg you."

Vivian just looked at him, she decided to allow him to say his piece. But she was limiting him to only five minutes though. She stood aside and let him in the house. "Thank you Viv. I appreciate you hearing me out" he said.

"You have five minutes. That's it. I'll be getting all your stuff I have together while you talk. So start talking, the clock's ticking". They headed up to her room so she could get all his stuff. She had several shirts and tapes and stuff to return to him. He began talking, "First I want to say, I'm sorry. I hate that I hurt you. I still love you so much. But to be a guy who's still a virgin at my age,  I was getting a lot of shit from the other guys on the football team. It sucked. The pressure that's on us guys isn't the same as you girls. None of your friends call you names for being a virgin. Mine did, every day. It got to be more than I could take. And I let it fuck up the best thing I had going in my life. Then I did have sex and it was totally not worth losing you. Now I'm paying for that stupid mistake. Can you please give me another chance? We've got three years of history together. We deserve another try to make it work. Please."

As much as she at one time wanted this guy sitting in front of her. Now she equally didn't want him. He'd hurt her and now that he got what he wanted from someone else he wants her back. She just couldn't do it. She handed a box with all his stuff in it. "Look Erik, it's over. You wanted to be free to have sex with whoever you wanted, now you have that freedom. My decision hasn't changed, I plan on remaining a virgin until I'm ready. So how long until you get tired of waiting again? Hold on just a minute, I need to use the restroom, then I'll see you out. Your five minutes are up."

While Vivian was in the bathroom her bedroom phone rang. Erik decided to answer it, he'd always done that in the past. So it was more habit for him now. "Hello" there was a long pause, so Erik said hello again. This time he heard the male voice on the other end of the line. "Hi, um is Vivian there?" Erik wondered who was this guy on his girls phone? "Yeah, she's in the bathroom right now. Can I ask who's calling?"

Jordan wondered who was answering Vivian's phone. "This is Jordan. Tell her to give me a call when she has a chance, if she wants to that is. Who am I speaking with?"

"This is Erik, her boyfriend. I'll give her your message."