With and Without You (A Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

Chapter 22

Vivian looks down at her tattoo. She can't believe she went through with it. But she knows she made the right decision, I'll Be Lovin You Forever, J. A permanent reminder of the man she would love for the rest of her life. But could never have.

Vivian's Sophomore and Junior year's of college went by in a blur. Nothing exciting happening, just class and homework. She kept to herself and didn't really talk to anyone. She wrote some for the local newspaper about local entertainment. She went to local bars and saw local artists. Music had never been her passion before, but just following the music scene made her feel close to Jordan in a weird way.

She followed Jordan's success over the years as well. His dream had come true, he was famous. People loved him. Especially the girls. He was always showing up in the gossip magazines with this girl or that girl. But there were never any stories about him getting serious with any of them. He was reported as a real playboy.

After graduation, Vivian, aka Leigh, got hired for a paid internship at Rolling Stone magazine. She was very excited about this opportunity. This was what she had wanted and now her dreams were coming true too.

Vivian was assigned to work with one of the younger writers on staff named Jason Smith. He was tall and extremely good looking, not that it mattered to her. She had no intention or desire to know him outside of a working relationship. Jason was a different story. He would say little things to her here and there, about her eyes or hair. Just nice compliments, nothing that crossed the line, ever. He was interested in her though. They talked over drinks a few times, always about work. A few times he'd ask personal questions, if she felt comfortable she'd answer them. The longer they worked together the more comfortable she felt with him, as a friend only.

One day at work he brought her tickets to Jordan Knight's concert the next weekend. She of course said yes to going. Then Jason said, "And we'll be going backstage to interview him before the show." Her heart stopped, See him? Interview him? So actually talk to him? She couldn't form a coherent thought. She hasn't seen or spoken to him in four years, maybe it was time.

The night of his show, Vivian was nervous. She picked out the perfect outfit, fixed her hair and makeup just right for their reunion. Jason picked her up, "Damn Leigh, you look amazing.  Should I be jealous of this guy? You're not going to run off with him are you?" He laughed not knowing that she'd be gone in a second if Jordan asked her to go with him. He did notice she never answered his questions.

When they arrived at the venue he gave her a press pass to wear. They were ushered backstage immediately as they arrived, taken to a large room with other people milling around waiting, she guessed everyone was waiting for Jordan because he wasn't there. She was finally able to exhale. She wasn't even aware she'd been holding her breath in anticipation of seeing him, her soulmate, her one true love. 

Suddenly she heard her name and felt someone grabbing her arm. She was spun around to face Donnie. "What the fuck are you doing here? Does Jordan know you're here tonight?" He was furious. His eyes fierce and his voice low and angry. Vivian blinked several times and whinced at the pain he was causing her with the tight grip he had on her arm. He drags her away from the other people in the room.

"Donnie, stop you're hurting me." She protested.

"Viv you can't be here. If he sees you, it'll destroy him all over again. You don't understand, I won't let you hurt him again. So you better leave before he gets in here. How could you be such a selfish bitch? To think you have the right to just show up here. And you bring your fucking boyfriend with you. Leave now."

Vivian quickly walked over to Jason, she apologized and said she had to go home. He tried to leave too, but she told him to stay and get his interview. She'd see him at work. And with that she left, she held back her tears until she got outside.

Jason stands there confused, but stayed for his interview with Jordan. Donnie approaches Jason,  "Hey man, sorry about that but Jordan can't know Vivian was here. They have a very complicated and destructive past. It wouldn't do either of them any good to see each other. So it's best you don't mention that Vivian was ever here or that you know her. Just don't mention her at all, okay man?"

"Yeah no problem man." Jason says wondering who the fuck Vivian is. Is Leigh this Vivian he's talking about? He doesn't have much time to think about it before Jordan enters the room. Jason is introduced to him and promises a quick interview. Jordan smiles as they shake hands . He looks around, "I was told I was being interviewed by two individuals from Rolling Stone, and that one was a particularly beautiful woman." Jason laughs, "Yes there was two of us here. My intern, Leigh had to leave early. She wasn't feeling well."

Jordan smelled a familiar scent in the air. He would have sworn he could smell Vivian in this very room. Even after the years since he'd seen her last  he never forgot her sweet scent. He thinks he must be going crazy, because she obviously wasn't here.

The interview went quickly as promised and Jordan was glad. It was the most awkward interview he'd ever done. This guy gave off a really strange vibe. And he asked some really odd questions, mostly about his past and love and relationships. Jordan wondered what kind of article he was writing. He didn't ask but one or two questions about the new album. 

Jason had finally found his way in with Leigh. He knew how to get her now. Jordan. He was the answer. The next morning Jason showed up at Leigh's apartment with coffee and donuts. She again apologized for running out like she had.

He said it was okay and that he understood, "That guy Donnie had filled me in on your past with Jordan."

Vivian wished he hadn't.

"Well its probably a good thing that you left. Jordan was with his fiance and if you have as much of a complicated past as it seems then you wouldn't want to have been there. They were disgustingly all over each other."

Vivian is visibly upset, Jason goes to her side. He hugs her to try and comfort her. She finally let's her guard down with him and allows it. She knows it's time to move on from Jordan. And here's a nice man who was obviously interested in her. She looked at him, really looked at him for the first time. He was extremely good looking, tall, well built. Ruggedly handsome. A sharp dresser. He was thoughtful and sweet. She hugged him close to her. His arms went tightly around her small body. She felt comfortable with it, not at home like when Jordan would hold her, but she felt good. His body felt good against hers. That was a good sign. She pulled out of their embrace a little, turning her face to his, their lips mere inches apart. He leaned in, closing those inches and kissed her. She was surprised how much she liked it. Jordan had moved on, it was high time she did too.

After that day she and Jason were no longer coworkers and friends. They were coworkers and a couple.