With and Without You (A Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

Chapter 23

After a short period of dating, and an even shorter engagement, Vivian married Jason, in a very small ceremony. Surrounded by his family and their friends. Vivian didn't invite any of her family. Then they'd all know where she was living. She did call her parents and let them know she had gotten, married. They had questions about her new husband, but were over all happy for her.

Jordan had remained close to Vivian's family in Boston, especially since Angie and Donnie were still dating. He still always asked about Vivian anytime he ran into her family. And they always politely said they were sorry but they didn't have any information to give him. Then one day Jordan was home and he went to visit Donnie, Angie of course was there. Her face fell when Jordan asked if she'd heard anything from Viv. The answer was almost always the same, "No", but not today.

"She called last week to let her dad know she had gotten married." Jordan frowned and looked like he finally realized she was never coming back. He'd been holding out hope for five years. Five years, he'd had no word from her, but he always thought she would eventually come back to him. She had his heart, she had to come back. But now all his hope's were dashed because she married someone else.

Vivian's wedding night was an eye opening experience. She'd allowed herself to feel something for someone other than Jordan for the first time in five years. She allowed herself to move on from her sadness at losing her first love all those years ago. Here she was with Jason, her husband, he had been such an amazing boyfriend, attentive and loving. He'd helped her heal her heart. He'd taken care of her. Now they were married, in their honeymoon suite, getting undressed, about to make love for the first time. Then he says something that catches her totally by surprise.

"So Vivian..."her head jerks around towards him, "were you ever going to tell me your real name?" She looks at him, anger in his eyes. "You've lied to me our whole relationship. Tell me why"

"Jason, I didn't lie, I changed my name when I moved to California. How did you find out my name was Vivian. By the way, Leigh is also my name, it's my middle name."

He slowly steps closer to her, unbuttoning the cuffs of his sleeves. "Well your friend Donnie filled me in on your name and your fucking LOVE for Jordan fucking Knight. Something you failed to tell me about." He stalked closer to her, now unbuttoning his shirt and removing it from his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor.

"Babe I'm sorry you found out like that, I wasn't trying to hide it from you. It's just that Jordan is a part of my past I dont ever talk about. Its painful and better left in the past." He's standing right in front of her now. She reaches up to touch his face, he grabs her arm, looking at her tattoo, I'll be lovin you forever..J, "So the J...it stands for Jordan! How can it be left in the past, when I'll be looking at this shit the rest of my life?"

She was getting angry now, "Are you fucking serious Jason? This is how you want to begin our wedding night?" She felt the worst pain she'd ever felt in her life explode in her cheek. Jason had backhanded her, throwing her sideways onto the bed. Her hand flew up to her cheek, shocked by the fact that her husband had just hit her. Now he was on her, pulling her wedding dress up around her waist. He pulled her panties off and spread her legs roughly. She said no and tried to push him off her. He pushes between her legs and rested there for a few moments. She laid frozen. Looking her in the eye, he kisses her passionately and purposely. Now he's her loving man again. She doesn't know how she's supposed to pretend he didn't just backhand her. And now he has gently making love to her. She didn't know what to think.

Over the next year, Vivian's marriage to Jason was mostly her walking on eggshells and trying not to get hit. She'd had her nose broken, black eyes, busted lips, a broken arm and all her fingers broken on that hand. Vivian lived in terror. She tried to keep her mouth closed and keep Jason happy. They had some good times. But his anger was easy to peak. It didn't take much to piss him off. He punched her hard in the stomach once because a Jordan Knight song came on the radio while she was cooking and she let it play. He walked into the kitchen, punched her, stepped over her body curled up on the floor and turned off the radio. She never knew when or why it was going to happen. She basically lived in fear every minute of every day.

Then everything changed, she found out she was pregnant. Jason's whole personality changed. He was the happy expectant father and doting, loving husband. She wasn't thrilled about being pregnant at first. It was a pregnancy that had forced her to leave her first love. But this pregnancy might just save her life. He never raised his voice at her now. And he definitely never hit or hurt her now.

When Vivian was five months along, she heard Jordan was coming to town for a concert. It was time for closure, she knew she had to see him perform. She hadn't seen him perform since his sisters wedding, their last night as a couple. She wanted to see him living his dream, and say goodbye for good. But there was no way Jason would allow her to go. She had to go without him knowing. Lucky for her, the show was on his night to work late. She thought she could go to the show and make it home before he knew she was gone. She knew it could get her hurt, but she left her phone on the kitchen counter when she left.

Jordan was amazing. The show was so good. He was such a entertainer. He sounded so good. And he looked even better. She was wowed by him. He was right were he belonged. She had made the right choice all those years ago. She knew that now. She left before the show was even over. She needed to get back home, to her husband. Before he figured out she was gone.

Whatever she faced when she got home, it was worth it. Getting to finally see her sweet Jordan living his dream, made any punishment she got worth it.

The End (Part One)
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