After War Storm

Mare

I woke with a jolt and clutched the arm that was on my shoulder. I remembered he feel of his arms holding me and how I wished he would do that now. Just hold me and make all the bad things go away, like he used to be able to do. "Cal?" I whispered though I knew it was him.
"I'm here," he said gently. His bronze eyes burned in the dim light of he moon let in by the window. My eyes traced over every inch of his face, from his eyes to his hair to his perfect lips. "Bad dream?"
"How did you know?" I asked. Cal turned to look at the gaping hole in the wall I hadn't noticed before turning back to me. My eyes were wide; I had never caused that much damage before whilst I was asleep. "I did that?"
"Yes," Cal laughed. "Plus the screaming and almost killing me as I tried to wake you up."
"Oops. I better get Ti, try and calm him down."
"I'll get him," Cal said as I started to stand up, not wanting me to have to get up. How sweet of him.

Cal lifted a crying Ti out of his cot and brought him over to the bed, sitting down next to me at the edge of the bed. I was about to take Ti off Cal but he must have done something because Ti stopped crying.

"That was helpful,sometimes he can take hours to calm down," I told him.
"Glad I could help."
"What time even is it?" I asked. It had to be into the early hours of the morning. Cal checked he small clock on my bedside table.
"Three in the morning," he announced.

After sitting in more uncomfortable silence than we were used to having between us, Cal said: "I better leave you to get some sleep."

He lay Ti on one of the pillows then stood up but on instinct I reached out and grabbed his arm. "Cal, I don't think I can sleep on my own without the nightmares." It was true. I hadn't had one peaceful night since going to Montfort. I don't know why I get so awkward telling him, surely he must get nightmares too?
"You can come in with me, if you want."
"That sounds nice." I smiled and stood up with Cal, picking up Ti. Cal carried Ti's cot through the gap in the wall (we would have to find someone to repair that tomorrow; maybe Eve could do it) and I gently placed him in it.

Cal climbed into the bed and I snuggled up next to him under the duvet. I curled up in his strong, comforting embrace , against his chest, and after a few moments I felt my eyelids grow heavy and I drifted off to sleep. For the first night in years, I didn't not dream.

-~-

The following morning I woke to bright sunshine streaming through the window. For a moment I couldn't remember where I was but then everything came back to me. I was in Norta and with Cal. Was it real? Was I really back and with Cal? That was the part I still couldn't come to terms with. I was lying in bed next to Cal, the boy I had loved so much two years ago, the boy I still loved now. I could only hope he felt as strongly about me as I still did about him.

I lay, still encircled by his arms, for several minutes just staring at the ceiling, letting my mind wander.

I wanted to stay like that, with him, for the whole day but I needed to feed my son. Our son. I carefully removed his arm from where I'd was draped over my waist and crept out of bed and over to Ti's cot. He was awake but not making any noise, unusual for him. I reached down into his cot and scooped him up into my arms where he began to cry. I'd spoken too soon.

I tried to hush him but it was too late. I saw Cal stretch from the corner of my eye. There went my attempt at trying to let him sleep.
"Morning," he smiled brightly at me.
"Morning. How was your night?" I asked biting my lip.
"Interesting," he answered. "I thought a fight had broken out and I almost got electrocuted by the girl I love but then I got to spend the rest of the night with her so overall, it was very good. How about you?" I blushed scarlet before answering. "Very much the same only I almost electrocuted the boy I love rather than nearly getting electrocuted myself."

"Do you get them a lot?" He asked suddenly serious.
"Get what a lot?" I asked seeking Ti back in his cot (he had stopped crying), giving him his dummy, and making my way over to the bed. Cal patted the spot next to him and I sat.
"The nightmares."
"Do you get them?" I asked. I imagined he would do just not as much as me though I didn't know why I had to be so affected. I avoided his question because I didn't want to admit how much Maven and Elara still plagued me, even after we were rid of them both.

"Yes," he admitted. "They are mainly about him hurting you." Cal didn't say his name. His hand brushed lightly along my collarbone and pulled down my shirt collar to reveal the M Maven had branded me with years ago. M for Monster, for Maven, for Mare.

Cal's fingers traced the burn before he pulled away his hot hand and it return to his side. I missed his warm touch when it wasn't there. Two years without him and after one night I already missed his heat, his embrace, his touch.

"There was a part of me," he whispered "that thought you would have got rid of it. But I'm not sure why I ever thought you would. Though I don't know why you'd keep it. If he plagues you so much in your dreams, and that's only my guess as to what you have nightmares about, then I don't know why you'd try and hold on to any part of him, why not just let it all go?"
"You think I don't want to let it go, let him go?"
"No Mare-" I stood abruptly from the bed.
"Like you didn't want to hold on to every piece of him that you could. You always saw the good side in him and you haven't let him go either. You have nightmares about him too so why say I'm not letting go?"
"Mare-" he tried to reach for my hand but I yanked it away.
"You don't even know if I have tried to get over it all or not. You haven't asked me one question about anything I have done in the last two years."

Cal rose so we were both standing. "It's not my fault you're too stubborn to write otherwise we'd know exactly what was going on with each other. What life was like, what problems we'd faced, how we were dealing with everything that had happened." Both of our voices had grown louder. "Well, it's not my fault you were too stubborn either. I'm not the only one who could have done more." I paused to take a deep breath. "You know what?"
"What?"
"I can't do this right now n going to find Eve. I came back so you could meet Ti and we could see how everything is between us now and how far we'd go this time. Maybe this is it." I turned and picked up Ti, grabbed my bag, which I hadn't unpacked, and headed for the door.

"Mare!" Cal called from behind. I walked out the door without turning round. "Mare!" He yelled again. I was half way down the corridor. I knew he wasn't following me, he hadn't moved from the door. No footsteps had sounded against the marble floors.

I wished I'd brought Gisa with me. She'd know exactly what to do now and she'd be able to look after Ti whilst I did whatever it is I needed to. I'm glad Eve had come with me. I'm not sure what I would have done without someone to talk to. I made my way to Eve's old room (I assumed that was where she was staying) and knocked on the door.

When it opened, it wasn't Eve stood on the other side.

-~-

Sorry for the wait guys. Any guesses as to who it is?
Next chapter will be out soon xx