Trust Me (Steve Rogers Fanfiction)

Chapter 11

"And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are," I sing softly as I fold my laundry. "I couldn't help it, it's all your fault!"

My room is finally starting to come together. I didn't let Tony hire people to do it, choosing to decorate myself. The walls are off-white, and I've hung some twinkle lights up. There's a little plant on a small bookshelf crammed with books of every genre. But my favorite part of the room is the little gallery wall above my bed. It's full of pictures I've taken in the last few weeks here at the Avengers Tower, my new home. Natasha and I jamming out to music. The first time I tried on my suit. The kitchen after Thor and I tried to bake together. And there are many of Steve and I, walking around New York, drawing, and just hanging around. I smile. This is the first place in a long time where I've truly felt at home.

My phone buzzes. I pull it out of my pocket to find a message from Tony.

Tony: I need your help. It's an emergency.

Me: What? What's wrong?

Tony: Come on. Just get out here. Living room. Now.

I'm in the living room within seconds, and to my surprise, I'm not the only one here. Steve's sitting on the couch, and there's a love song I don't know playing in the background. 

"I just got a text from Tony. What's wrong?" 

He shrugs. "I got one, too. At first, I figured he blew something up, but he never showed. Nothing is my guess. Why he wants us here, I don't know."

"Oh." A blush creeps up my neck for no reason whatsoever.

We exist in silence for at least two minutes, just trying to look anywhere other than each other, but there's not a lot of options. I sit down on the couch and pretend to examine my hands.

"We could talk," he offers. "If you want to, of course."

"About what?"

"Whatever you want." Always courteous. Why does he have to be so maddeningly perfect?

"You know, I'm not used to liking people," I mutter, staring into his deep blue eyes. I could get lost in them, drown in them. "Or trusting them." Life has broken me and put me back together so many times, I'm not sure who I am anymore. I don't remember what it's like to feel safe.

"I think it's time you give people a chance again," he murmurs back. My breath catches in my throat, and shivers run down my spine. Can he hear my heartbeat? He doesn't try anything, just patiently waits for me to respond.

"This isn't right," I say, denying my true feelings. "You're Captain America. You're good, and strong, and well, perfect. A golden boy. And I'm... me."

"What's wrong with being you?"

"I'm a murderer. I'm their weapon, Steve. You know that. A few measly words, and I would kill you with no hesitation. I can't be with you, or anyone. I'm a hazard, a time bomb. I'm a danger to everyone."

"You're not dangerous to me," he whispers, tilting my chin up. Our noses are inches from each other.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can't."

Those words strike a chord in me. He has absolutely no reason to trust me, but still does. I can't imagine that. I barely trust anyone. I want to trust him. I feel like I might be able to.

But I'm afraid.

"Thank you, by the way," I say quietly. "For the other night. In the gym. I ran before I could."

"You're welcome," he whispers. "You don't have to fight your battles alone, you know."

But I do. "I... don't know how to respond to that."

"You don't have to know it all." The pull between the two of us is magnetic, slowly drawing us closer together. My nose is inches from his. I could count his eyelashes if I really wanted to. I'd rather stare, though.

The look in his eyes is one I don't think I'll ever forget. It's like when he looks at me, he doesn't see any of the bad. None of the red in my ledger, none of the blood on my hands. He only sees me: America. And I think that's beautiful.

"Hey, Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"You make me feel less cynical." I give him a small smile.

He chuckles softly. "Is that a good thing?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure." We're even closer now.

I think he's going to kiss me.

I think I'm going to let him.

Someone walks in, and the moment is over. I run across the room and into the kitchen, ducking my head to hide my face before it can betray me.

"Hey there, Rogers," Natasha teases. "Did I interrupt something here?"

"Come on, Nat. Be serious," he says her good-naturedly, but his words sting a bit. He was going to kiss me. Right? Something deflates inside of me. Maybe he feels nothing for me at all. Maybe he's just protective of me, or feels like he owes me. Maybe he sees me as a little sister. In my mind, I can finally acknowledge my feelings to myself.

I don't want him to think of me like a little sister.

"Ouch," Natasha responds.

I stand up. I don't want to be in here any longer than I have to. "I'm going for a run. If Fury has a problem with that, please tell him that I don't care." I dash out of the room without another word, barely holding back confused, frustrated tears.

Once I'm outside, I find a lonely bench on a deserted street and stare at the ground. The cool autumn air nips at me, but I ignore it. The cold feels good. It's a welcome distraction from a pair of blue eyes I can't shake from my mind.

I think I'm falling again.

Someone sits down next to me, but I don't pay him any attention. I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts. I told myself I'd never fall in love again. But then I met the Captain. I'm getting weak, but I think I like it.

The man next to me grabs my arm. I try to shake him off, but he has a strong grip. And there's nowhere to run. More men surround me, all big and muscular, dressed normally but with dark eyes.

"Hey!" I struggle against the group, then try to scream, but one of them clamps a hand over my mouth.

"братья и сестры," someone whispers. I stiffen as all of the pieces come together in my mind. They've been waiting for me to be by myself.

"No," I mumble, shutting my eyes, twisting harder against my attackers. "No, please-"

"скорость."

"No-"

"одна тысяча девятьсот восемьдесят пять."

"Please stop-" Tears bite the edge of my vision as I feel my mind start to slip away.

"ночной ветер."

"Steve!" I shriek one last time, before someone covers my mouth again. It's pointless he can't hear me.

"печаль, взрыв, темно."

Silence.

"Night Wind, are you with us?"

"готов соблюдать."

Ready to comply.

Hello! New chapter, what do you all think? I know you've seen part of this one before 😉 The song America was singing is "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morissette. Also, that ended on a bit of a cliffhanger.

Translations: siblings, speed, 1985, The Night Wind, sadness, explosion, dark.