Letting Go

CHAPTER 9.

"So how many of them were there?" I ask Harry from outside the bathroom door waiting for him to finish. I left the girls to talk as lexy ordered. Seems I was worried for nothing really.

"Well it was thier older brother and the twins" I hear him from the other side of the door.

He opens the door and walks past me to go downstairs and I follow.

"Yo Ty  what's up with you and Caitlyn?"

"Harry I'm going to be honest as fucking daylight with you for once, I have never felt this way before and to be completely honest I don't think I understand this myself. It's odd really how I met her and then she changed my life completely".

Harry nods as he fills the kettle and grabs four mugs from the cupboard.

I continue to ramble on "When she touches me I feel alive, when she looks at me I feel so damn special and all I can fucking think about is her and how i don't deserve her, she's a damn angel and I'm nothing but a damned fuck up. A royal fuck up at that".

" Tyler just shut up okay, I see the good she brings out in you, she loves you for you and that's what matters" Harry says with a slam against the counter top.

"look Harry I don't know if it's love but it's definitely something".

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Caitlyn spent the night with us. My mother was downstairs with Nicholas the whole damn night fighting over his alcohol consumption again, I suppose. She's embarrassing me but the mojarity of me doesn'treally give a fuck.

I however couldn't sleep not even a wink of shut eye, my mind danced at the possiblites of that girl and I in a relationship. My thoughts swayed with themselves in a damaged yet beautiful way.

What would lexy say? What would Cait's parents say? Hell. I wish my father was here, he would tell me exactly what I should do in order to be what she needs. he would know exactly what to say to make me stop stressing over the simple things. To stop overthinking.

I go outside and play with the pool water. It's 3 in the morning and I can't sleep. My mother takes a seat next to me.

"Where's nich?" I ask her.

"He left in a hurry last night" .

"okay".

"Tyler I'm sitting here crying and all you can say is okay".

"You made your bed mom now lay in it".

"Tyler why do you hate me so much? "

"I don't hate you mom, I hate the fact that all your problems became ours, after dad died all you cared about is yourself. You stopped being a parent to us. Lexy needed you and you weren't there. I had to raise her. And i still have to. There's nothing in this house. No love. Only darkness. Between Harry, lexy and myself we can't take it no more. I am tired of you constantly fighting with Nicholas and then coming to cry by us just to have gone back the next day".

"Tyler, Nicholas is a good man".

I got up and walked away from her. Arguing with her has no effect she will never see what his doing to her. Nicholas is nothing but a drunkard and a junkie. She claims to try protect my sister and I but she doesn't care. She has a good job but that bum just takes all her money and nothing is left for her. Lexy and I are tired. And I've tried fighting Nicholas but the damn ass has skills I don't know how to deal with. He has whipped my ass more times than I have fingers and toes.

I walk into lexy's room and sit next to her and Cait. Caitlyn gets up and notices my change in demeanour.  She puts a pillow on my lap and her legs over lexy's legs and sleeps on me. She fell asleep holding my hand and there's was no way I could sleep now.

I feel like Edward who watched Bella sleep, for so long I thought he was creepy but I get it now. She looks peaceful and it just gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.  

I take out my phone and take a picture of her in my lap, quickly. Not as evidence to say she did but for me to be reminded of the angel I was once with. I intend to fucking soak up every moment with her because I know she will leave my dumbass soon. She's too good for me, much too good at that.

I place my head on lexy's back and I don't remember much after that.

Lexy woke me up and Cait was still sleeping on my leg and I fell asleep in a weird position .

"Lexy i need to tell you something" I cover my mouth and say .

"Tyler I'm listening".

"Lex i really like Caitlyn" I look away and bite my lip. I have different lip bites for different moments. It's an odd notion but it's signature to me alone I guess.

"Tyler she likes you too and I can see you're different with her then you are with other girls " Lex does the same, she looks away.

Cait turns in my lap and her eyes bat open. I swear i could have been dreaming because it's impossible for this much attractiveness to exist in one person. And it does and it's all here in my lap, for me to touch, for me to kiss, for me to admire. 

Her eyes amazing as ever staring up at me as she reaches to touch my cheek I brush a lock of hair behind her ear. She gets up to let's me get up and I walk out the room and go straight to Harry. 

"Harry get up, you gonna make us late" I bang on his door. He eventually does answer me and I leave satisfied knowing that his awake .

I really should have got some sleep because I'm already sitting here and yawning and I'm not even ready for school yet. I run my fingers through my hair and realise I need a haircut and maybe a shave. I look like a cave man. I go straight into the bathroom and start to shave, shower and freshen up.

I have to go to work later.  I'm glad that the weekend is almost here. But the weekend being around the corner still doesn't help the fact that I have to go to work. Working is a bust really, a real mood killer and I'm stuck going there with no other option.