Letting Go

CHAPTER 31.

"Let me walk you in atleast" I jump out before she can fight me.

We are at her doorstep and neither of us wants to leave the other. She said goodbye 7 times already and I tried walking away but she always calls me back to tell me something. Eventually we sit on the steps in front of her house and talk until she falls asleep holding my arm. I'm not sure if I want to wake her up. I think I'm selfish enough to enjoy this moment over her comfort.

"You can carry her up to her room " Dr.Bliare says after I hear the click behind me.

I carry her up the stairs bridal style and place her on her bed. I'm about to leave when her eyes open.

"Come back" she says to me half asleep. I listen and when I get to her she pulls me down to sit with her. "Don't go". I laugh at her, place a kiss on her forehead and watch how she starts sulking.

I'm almost out the door when Dr.Bliare calls me. "Come sit with me for a bit".

I listen not wanting to be rude to him but inside I'm ready for bed. I'm must have been zoned out cause he tapped my shoulder for the second time now.

"Do you want a drink?". I'm not trusting this his most likely testing me.

"No thanks". I watch him smile and then he sits down on the single seater couch across me. 

"So what do you want to do when you done with school ?" Its damn 12:30 am and his asking me life questions. Be nice Tyler, i have to remind myself over and over again.

"I don't even know yet, I'm thinking mechanical engineering but I have to apply for bursaries now in order to get that far". Damn reality just struck me therr. In 2 months I'm writing the exams that will determine the outcome of my future and then I have to go to the real world and I'm living as if this is a book and I'll just pass with the luck of an author. I have to pull myself together and study if I'm even thinking about studying further now. Physical science, Biology, History and mathematics. I even went and chose the subjects that are going to kick me in the ass.

Maybe lynnea and I can study together seeing as how we both write in 2 months. No she's to much of a distraction I'll hardly get any work done.

"I know an engineering company in New York and I'm sure if I ask they could help you, you just got to get accepted into a university first". He stops for a second and then continues almost as if his weighting this in his head "my wife can help both you and lynnea to apply".

"That would really take a load of my back .Thank you so much". I actually meant that. He and his wife would help a lot if they were able to do those things for me.

"I'm off " I tell him and I leave before he gets any other opportunity to distract me.

I need sleep in my bones and that man and his daughter drained me. I start the car and the feel of the road just got to me. I'm no longer tired I'm not even worried about going home. I drive and drive and drive until I'm away from civilization. I'm parked in the middle of two hills and the sky seems purple here. There's a hint of green as well. This is the most beautiful star gaze I've ever seen. There's no sky scrapers in sight just open sky. There's a million more stars here then there is above my house.

And for once I look up and see utter serenity. My normal wild mind is at ease. I would trade a million of my happiest memories to feel this peace for eternity.

I need some sleep now. My eye lids are getting heavy and my mind is blurred.

I throw myself into my bed as soon as I make it to my room. My body is sprawled out and my thoughts are unraveling leaving me a lifeless blob just laying there on mattress.

Seconds pass before all I can see is pitch black darkness.

*************

"Please don't do this. It doesn't have to happen this way. I have a family to get back to. I have people to provide for. Please reconsider".

I see my father talking to someone but I can't make out who he is. I'm in a blind spot but I can see the figure of the man hovering over my dad.

"Dad. Dad it's me it's Tyler. What's going on dad?" I ask frantically and get no reply all I got was him staring at me as his head hit the steering wheel with a rapid growing dot of read liquid on his forehead.

That morning I woke up soaked in sweat. This nightmare was nothing like i was used to as a child. I thought it was over but it wasn't. Everytime I tried to get up I couldn't and my dad been shot was playing in my head on and endless loop. 

I must have seen him get shot and then lose control of the car at least 50 times. It was like I was trapped in a prison world and couldn't escape. For the life of me I actually tried. I tried getting out of bed at least several times that night but I couldn't. Each time I saw the shot it got more real until I got to the point where i could no longer differentiate the dream from reality. Well my reality in this case.

I'm now walking down the stairs with my sweat absorbed sheets and a layer of glistening moisture on my skin. I had to bath after sweating like that. I just enter the living room when I hear a gasping sound. The sound threw me off completely and I assumed it was lexy. But it wasn't. The gasping turned into subtle moans and the source of these moans looked like she was ready for me. This moment seemed perfect to get what I've been wanting since last night at Dr.Blaire's house. My mind is exhilarated and im in complete battle ready mode.