Letting Go

CHAPTER 5.

He leaves despite my moms screams for him to stop. Luckily he decided to leave before things got worse. I could've really been hurt.

I fumbled around for tablets and eventually found painkillers. I took 6 mybulens and my body reacted, searching for the one thing it always wants.

Her!

I didn't acknowledge it at the time, but my feet did because after a while I found myself standing outside her house and down I went. I felt the crash my body made with the ground but the pain didn't ring through.

"Tyler, Tyler! Oh my God Tyler get up!, dad! Mom! Dad!, help him, someone."

I struggled to open my eyes but I eventually did and came face to face with an angelic beauty.

"Richard come get this boy inside. " I heard Samantha's shouting but all I could do was stare at Caitlyn.

I knew I was in a foreign room but I hadn't expected it to be her room. I could tell it was by the way it smelled. Caitlyn stood next to me as my eyes parted slightly.

"What happened to you Tyler? ".

Of course I should've expected it ....no room for rest she hits me with questions as soon as I come to it, really. It is cute though I'll admit that and it makes me all happy inside knowing she's concerned.

"Tyler talk to me!" she shakes my arm.

I try... I  open my mouth, but no words fall out, she always does this to me. She leaves me speechless.

The look of intense worry on her face made me slur but I managed to say "I'm okay ".

She sighs in relief and her brown eyes soften. She stares at me intensely and my heartbeat increases rapidly. I stare at her lips for a few seconds and imagine what would it be like to kiss them.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I looked for you last night" I whisper feeling how sore my throat really was.

She smiles,a genuine smile and turns to me "Yeah I wonder why too?".

I sit up and notice that my boots are off. I look to her door and they're perfectly aligned as is her shoes and everything is exactly straight, her books went in height order. Her study table had nothing but a laptop and an exam pad on it, with the cutest D.I.Y holder I've ever seen, filled with brightly coloured pens and I see a chocolate box sitting in the trash can.
I'm assuming that, that is her favourite chocolates seeing as how she had one box in the bin and one on her shelf. 

Her window is directly infront of the door, her bed is on the right hand side to the window, the creme bedding matchs the the creme curtains. Her table is on the far left and her night stand next to the bed. Her shelves above her table leaving an entire empty wall covered in qoutes.

I walk towards them and start reading as many as I can. I'm not sure if i will ever be here again but some how my body is less tense my senses calm I feel more at home here than I do at my own house. Maybe it's because I'm with her. Maybe home isn't four walls, maybe it's two eyes and a heartbeat, I think to myself after I sneak a look at her.

Still a bit numb I make my way down the steps. I come face to face with a kid . She looks up at me and moves out the way. She runs to the couch and sits there with a book . The name I couldn't make out but I mean it was pretty odd. What kid reads a book in this day and age.

"Caity was the same" Samantha catches me staring at the girl in wonder "that's my grandbaby her name is Annalise and she visits often although I wish it was more frequent than often".

I'm now trying to picture a 6 year old Caitlyn sitting with her feet in the air, unable to reach the floor with her face buried in a book. It really isn't that far out of grasp.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the not so mini version of her. She pulls me out to the porch and turns to look at me. "What's going on Ty?".

"I don't want to talk about it " I roll my eyes at her. Why am I being grumpy towards her all of sudden? I'm sure annoyed and I know it's not her, just me being a dick.

"I'm just trying to help" she gasps as I punch the wall. That hurt.

"Well stop I don't need your help , I don't need you" I hiss with venom laced in my voice.

She closes her eyes tight. She's holding back tears now. I feel my heart tug. I haven't felt this in years. My heart does not break anymore. At least I know I have one now. For the longest time I've walked around trying to feel any emotion any sliver of humanity. Something. Anything that would confirm my existence.

"Come here". I stare at her.

"Why should I come by you all you do is push me away ". She has a point. Why am I so bipolar all the time?

I grab her and pull her into me." I'm sorry" I whisper to her as I caress her back. Rubbing small circles into her bare shoulders.

"Tyler tell me what's really going on with you".

"I don't let just anyone in Caitlyn".

"Oh so now I'm just anyone" she says to me with an annoyed scowl on her face she will kill me soon.

She clearly isn't liking this. 

"No" I hesitate ," I just don't let people in. Everyone let's me down. One of my old freinds used to tell me 'don't trust anyone not even your reflection because you, yourself will let you down oneday' I should've listened to her becuase what did she do? , she upped and left as well. I have trust issues okay Cait and it's not gonna go anywhere".

"Tyler I promise I won't go ever. " she whines.

"I've got to go check up on lexy.  Bye!" I growl at her and walk away. Not even sparing her a look back. I have 30 minutes before I have to get to school.

I need to change aggh fuck it both physically and metaphorically!... I'm in no mood to dress up I just need to go back home to see how lexy is and maybe I have to go brush my teeth. Also to fetch my fucking car becuase the fuckery at my house made my legs ache and I couldn't walk.

I burst through the front door. Find Nicholas laying on the couch . No fucking surprise there. Lexy ran straight into my arms.

"Are you okay ?, where did you go ? Are you hurt? " I held my hand up to stop her.

"Yes I'm okay . It's not important. No he didn't hurt me".

I walk into the bathroom and smear the white paste on my tooth brush. I have to make it work with Caitlyn. Her soul brings out my humanity and I miss it, so I pull out my phone and call her. She picks up almost immediately and I skip the formalities and jump into my explanation.

I begin with a sigh. I should be doing this in person.  "Okay so my dad died a while back and my mom's been dating this guy named Nicholas for a while now. Shit's messed up here and the problem is his alcohol consumption as well as his occasional use of cat. He gets really violent sometimes and that's what happened last night. I'm sorry for pushing you away and for dragging you into this" I'm not even the slightest bit sorry I dragged her into this. I'm happy I have her around now.

The conversation continues for a few minutes before her mom shouts for her and she hangs up. I already miss her voice once the line goes dead.

Not only am I surprised that I feel so highly about her, I also opened up to her. She really is comfortable to he around.