Letting Go

CHAPTER 45.

The inside of her aunts house is decorated well. The house is amazing. Her aunt's name is kayla and she's staying with her sister tonight. It's odd how those two trust lynnea and I together in a house all alone but her father won't.

"I'm going to bed".

"Okay" i reply flatly.

The whole night through I stared at the TV. They say men have a nothing box and that night I proved that theory. I couldn't think about anything my mind was blank. I had not thoughts in my brain. The blinding light of the sunrise shone through the blinds and my eyes hurt from the light sensitivity, a consequence of two nights with no sleep.

"Tyler you need to sleep" a voice says to me. I hadn't even noticed that Nea stood next to me.

"I'm fine".

"Come on let's get you upstairs so you can try and get some shut eye at least".

"I'm fine !!" I raise my voice and she trembles for a second before she starts crying.

"Please Tyler. I could never live with myself if you going to hurt yourself because of me. You need to eat and you need to sleep. Please Tyler I dont want us to end up like Catherine and Heathcliff. I dont want you to kill yourself of fatigue and hunger and I don't want to be a wretched old man when you're gone. Dont do that to me. Because if I lose you too I dont know what I would do" she turns around to hide her tears from me. " I'm sorry Tyler. I don't deserve you ".

"You dont deserve me ? Are you even the slightest bit aware of the shit I've done before I got with you?".

She turns around and i stop speaking "Yeah I did know and I still accepted you. I love you Tyler. You have a reputation that precedes you, everyone talks about you and the type of person you are, but I didn't care all i wanted was you. I saw the good in you. Especially when it came to Sameera. That child wouldn't utter a single word to me but she spoke to you. You know why? Because she can also see the good person you are. Tyler you are a victim of circumstance you had to lose your parent alone and then you dealt with a broken home in the time you needed it most. You did what you thought was right to survive. What's my excuse for lieing to you blatantly".

"Shhhhh it's okay baby come here. We're both messed up I guess. Maybe it isn't about fucking up and moving on maybe its about how we move forward from the fuck up. We can fix this I know we can" I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her frame. She smells so sweet. She just took a shower. " look at me. I'm sorry for shouting at you just now".

She kisses me passionately and the air electrifys. Her rushed movements eventually go to my belt and she starts to undo it. I'm not gonna let this happen when she has so much going on in her life.

"Stop lynnea. Not today, you know I want to but we can't when it's a distraction and not because we both want it".

"Just come here and shut up" she wraps her legs around my waist and hoists herself on the counter top. She runs her fingers over my torso under my shirt and its driving me insane. That's it I'm not in control anymore. I grip a handful of her hair and pull her head back exposing the soft skin of her neck. I kiss her slowly and run my tongue over the top of her black bra.

Her sleep gown drops further and I grip her waist. I struggle to keep in control.

"No lynnea not now" I whisper against her neck.

"Shhh" she pushes her nails into my back. She starts grinding against me and I lose all control I had once. I pick her up of the counter and walk to the couch. Her back on the couch and her legs on either side of me as I hover over her. She takes of my shirt and pulls my lip ring in between her teeth pulling my bottom lip along with it.

I hold her down as I grip her hips harder. She gives a soft moan and her back arches of the couch as I trace the top of her black lace. I slide it down her legs and tease her with my fingers. I rub circles on her and within seconds of my touch she unravels .

It takes her a while to recover but she does and when she does she slides my pants down and grips me in her hand. Her touch is something I need. I need to feel her smooth skin on mine. She makes me come undone and I'm the one struggling to catch my breath now, but she isn't done with me. She sits up and climbs on me grinding her body against mine.

"Wait I tell her" i don't have my usual supply of rubbers here so we cant take chances.

"Relax I'm on precautions don't worry" she adjust herself on me and let's out an audible moan as she rotates her body. Each rotation makes me feel even more euphoric. She's like clay in my hands and I can mold her to my will. She begins rotating faster and I'm the one to let out a sound this time.

I pull her closer to me and leave love bites all over her chest. Her body is hot against mine and I'm silently enjoying the pleasure she brings me. After a while she turns to mush on me and i can't hold on anymore. I let go in her and the feeling is amazing. I've never done anything like that with anyone before. I was always careful but this time she was and I didn't have to be.