Complicated Heart (TaeTee)

Balance

Tee

P'Tae sat at the edge of the bed. His elbows braced on knees, head gripped between his hands like he's in great pain. He lifted his head up, hearing the sound of the bathroom door opening. His eyes took me in.

"P'Tae," I smiled, sitting next to him on the bed. He averted his eyes.

"How are you feeling?" He croaked rubbing his temples as if he's the one having a hangover.

"I feel fine," I rubbed the towel through my wet bangs. "Considering...." If P'Tae hadn't shown up on time, I didn't know what would have happened to me. I'm forever grateful to him.

"Tee," He murmured still not looking at me. "I'm so—"

"Please stop P," I placed my hand on his bare shoulder. His skin is dark and a few degrees warmer than my palm. "Please, don't apologize," I begged.

"I should," He finally turned his head to look at my face. "I should have taken care of you." His eyes are darkened with a mixture of emotions; pain, shame, anger and something unrecognizable. "But what I did...I did.... I shouldn't have." He covered his face with his palms.

"Yes, you took care of me." I ran my hand up and down his back ignoring his words. His corded back muscles clenched and shuddered, protesting my touch. But I didn't take my hand away. I kept on doing it until he relaxed into my touch. "You found me, brought me here to safety and calmed me down the best you could."

"But Tee," He argued, eyes flickering to my neck. Through the collar of my shirt, I know he can see the state of my skin; a few purplish hickeys with red stubble burns.

"In fact, I should thank you P," I took my hand from his back and did a wai. "I'm grateful for everything you did for me last night," I said sincerely. "And I meant everything," I stressed, looking straight at his tired bloodshot eyes.

P'Tae struggled with words for a few seconds before giving me a faint smile. I relaxed. I don't want our relationship to get tarnished. No matter what happens, P'Tae is the best part of me. I don't want to lose him. If what happened between us is making P'Tae uncomfortable then I'm ready to push it back to my brain and restart our life, as if nothing happens, with a clean slate. It may be a little hard this time. It'll be difficult to pretend I didn't know what he tasted like and smelled like. How strong his arms are when he took me in his embrace. His touch, his desire for my body, his impatience and the way he lost control when we made out. All those things will be hard to forget.

But I'd do it for him.

"Someone is at the door." P'Tae tried to get up.

"No, stay," I stopped him. Because he's shirtless and I don't want whoever is at the door to get a nosebleed by seeing his body. Besides, I'm pretty sure it's our breakfast.

I swiftly went to the door and opened. There's a man in staff uniform with a covered tray. I took it from him.

"Tell the reception that I'm ready to checkout in about half an hour," I advised him before closing the door.