𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑬 || 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑊𝑜𝑜𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔✔

Chapter 22

Hea PV

He turns his back to me and arranges his hair nervously, while I sit on the bed still confused.
"Why did you stop?"
I didn't think I'd ever find myself in such a situation, yet I admit it, I miss his touch already.
"Because this is not what I want Hea. Do you think I wasn't looking at you?! I saw how you closed your eyes; I don't want you to stand still waiting for me to satisfy my flesh."
This speech is new to me, he has always made me understand the opposite.
"Since when this is not what you want ?! Wooyoung I don't understand you! Tell me what you want from me and leave me alone!"
I tell him now exasperated, trying to hold back the tears I feel coming.
"Your love"
He says turning around and looking straight into my eyes.
"I want all of you, I'm not satisfied with just your body.
I want your thoughts to be just for me; Your soul, ready to commit a sin of love with me; And your heart to start beating differently when you're close to me... I want you to feel everything I feel for you Hea."
His confession leaves me speechless;
I never thought that one day he would tell me everything I've always dreamed of and seen as an illusion created by books.
"...we can't"
I can barely tell, and he kneels in front of me, looking for my confused look, lost in the void.
"What prevents us?"
"You are not serious"
I tell him, almost amused by his question.
"Nothing prevents us from loving each other, we will be neither the first nor the last to have a social difference"
"If we get married, you will lose the title"
I remind him, and he smiles at me, caressing my leg.
"I'm not going to marry you Hea."
Exactly what I thought..
"If you think I will spend my life being your secret lover, and that I will live to have your attention in the dark of the night, you can forget it!"
I get up abruptly, angry and offended by this indecent proposal.
"You would be a married woman and respected ..Hea if you want me too, this is all I can give you."
He says, holding me by the arm, not letting me go away.
"I will be a married woman and loyal to Seonghwa!"
He doesn't say anything else; suddenly  grabs my face and his lips are on mine. And here it is, that delicate kiss full of desperate love of which I have always read about, and always dreamed of knowing what it was like to know that every touch could be the last.
Now I know what it feels like, the simple and rare awareness that you will never experience anything like this with anyone else, because in that kiss there is not only two pairs of lips, but all the soul and heart that come together and make themselves a silent oath, even against your will.