In Too Deep

41

Riot by Summer Walker

"You don't have to come up with me" I tell Frost as he parks the car behind the doctors building.

It's a bit cold today so I layered.

"Safety reasons" he says getting out but I feel bad since I made him wait for so long last time and he wasn't even allowed in.

"Are you sure? She said it'd only take about ten minutes?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"You know he'd kill me if anything happened to you" I smile and pull my hoodie up.

"He'd kill just about anyone for shits and giggles" I laugh and hook my arm in his as we walk to the back entrance.

Once we're in we go straight through a corridor and into the elevator.

"I like talking to you, you know? You listen, like actually, listen" I compliment him but all he does is nod in return.

I hesitate leaving the elevator, I was hoping it'd go unnoticed but failed.

"You okay?" he asks me and I bite the inside of my cheek.

No.

"I'm fine, let's just get this shit over with" I push away this nagging feeling in the back of my brain and turn the knob to push in the door.

We both walk in and I announce my presence. In less than a second she's opening the door, beckoning the both of us in.

She leads me inside and tries to close the door behind us but I stop her.

"It's okay, you said it wouldn't take long" I say to her.

"Are you sure?" she asks and I nod. I crack my fingers and I feel my palms getting sweatier. I pull on my hoodie strings as a nervous shiver runs down my spine.

"Yeah, just rip off the band-aid. How many days do I got left to live" I chuckle but her smile doesn't reach her lips.

"Come on doc, you're starting to worry me" I laugh nervously but still, she doesn't humour me.

"I don't exactly know how to explain it to you. Just because I can barely understand it myself. I mean, you're young and—and you're a healthy young woman. I mean it just doesn't make any sense—"

"You're going in circles just....lay it on me. I can take it" I nod and she walks to me to take my hands in hers.

"I'm sorry Harleen but, you're infertile.."

Have you ever come across one of those moments in your life where everything just stops? Your surroundings are in constant motion but you're world has just stopped.

My heart is still beating, I feel it against my chest. It's one of the few things letting me know I'm still alive.

I always wanted a white picket fence, house in the suburbs, two kids, maybe even twins. A boy and a girl for sure. Hell, i don't care as long as they're both happy and healthy i'd be happy. Definitly want a dog, a good strong one, maybe a German Sheppard. They'd be good with kids, I always loved Beethoven. I'd move out of the city as soon as I could find a stable job, more stable then Arkham. I'd find an interesting business man, one of those Wall-street fellas maybe. And we'd love happily ever after in our home.

But Im not meant for happily ever after. Never have been and now....I guess I never will be.

I blink and I see her watching me carefully. I clear my through before letting her hand go and she moves away. I settle back on the ground and give her a quick hug before pulling away. My hands rest in her shoulders and I force a grin.