No Escape

Chapter Twenty-Three

Lily's eyes stayed glued on Adrienne's son; it was as if everything else froze around her. The baby's features were all similar to Adrienne's. Until he opened those eyes, and they were The Man's eyes. All of her thoughts turned to Maisie and Jackson's words "Lily, you lost your daughter." Lily felt terrible, seeing that boy made her feel so horrible about the three children she'd lost, that were taken away from her. She wasn't sure how long she stood there, lost in the guilt she felt. When she could refocus on the people standing in front of her, she masked it with a small smile as best she could. Lily looked up at them and the sibling pair had worried looks on their faces. Adrienne smiled when she noticed Lily had, but Jackson didn't seem convinced by it.

And he wasn't. He had studied Lily's reaction; the way her face fell and the tears that pooled in her eyes. He felt a small twinge of her pain in his chest. It was a similar feeling to what he had towards the situation. Guilt. He watched her process what was happening in front of her and try to hide how she felt with a smile. He saw through it though, that feeling in his chest remained and there was a longing look in his mate's eyes.

Adrienne was the first of the three to speak, rather excitedly, "hey Lily!" She was happy that her friend was up and moving around. She couldn't begin to imagine how Lily must be feeling, but she didn't want to look at her with pity or guilt knowing that it would make her feel worse. Lily continued smiling and gave Adrienne a small wave.

"I was just explaining to her how mindlinks work," Jackson chimed in, keeping a close eye on Lily. She could tell he was still worried about her, but she just nodded confirming his story.

"Oh, you were?" Adrienne asked him, then turned to Lily, "what did he tell you?"

Lily's eyes went wide, then she cleared her throat. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jackson make his way to the fridge before returning and handing Lily a bottle of water. "He said it was just like talking to someone through your thoughts."

Adrienne smiled again and said, "well he did a good job of explaining it then."

Lily nodded at her then glanced at Jackson before taking a deep breath and asking Adrienne, "are you going to introduce me?"

Her smile grew even wider, "this is Holden." Adrienne said as she showed him off. Lily commented on how cute he was before he started to fuss. Adrienne then excused herself, explaining that she needed to feed him.

Jackson heard Lily take a deep breath as he watched his sister walk out of the room. The moment she was far enough away that she couldn't hear him speaking, he started apologizing, "I'm sorry, I didn't know that she would bring him down here with her. If I had known, I wouldn't have—"

"It's okay," Lily interrupted him.

He sighed, took a moment, and said, "promise me something?" Lily just nodded at him, "don't hide how you're feeling from me? Please, I know you're not okay. I know that affected you. And I want to help; I want you to feel okay again. I think you do too. If you hold how you're feeling back from everyone, that won't happen." He finished as he went back to making sandwiches.

What he said made sense to Lily, but it angered her. "Am I not allowed to have anything for myself?"

Jackson handed his mate a plate with a sandwich on it, while his own had three. "I didn't say that. I just—I watched you internalize everything for months. Talking about things will help."

Lily scoffed, "and how do you know that? How do you know that will help me?"

"Keeping things to yourself wasn't helping. Why won't you just give it a chance?"

"What do you want from me? You want me to tell you how every single thought I have is about Maisie or Charlie or... or... or memories from the hospital, home, or with That Man? Over and over again, like it's on a loop. No, no. You want to know how I felt seeing her son! Fine, I felt like shit because I couldn't do my job of protecting her; she's gone, and I have nothing! It isn't fair and I have no one to blame but myself!" Lily yelled at him. She cried as the thoughts of losing Maisie were brought to the forefront once again.