No Escape

Epilogue

Three and a half months later

"Happy 18 weeks!" Mandy congratulated happily. "How are you feeling, Lily?"

"Like crap, and this one" she said, pointing to Jackson with the hand that wasn't clasped with his "is irritating, but I'm taking it one day at a time."

Mandy glanced over at Jackson before speaking, "well I'm glad you're doing okay. Ready to see the baby?"

Lily nodded, careful not to be too eager. She had to admit, the further she was along, the higher her hopes raised. She could feel the same emotion coming from Jackson. They tried their best to stay realistic though. Lily had never made it this far in her pregnancies before, except for Maisie, so they were in unknown territory. She and Jackson relied a lot on what Mandy told them about chances and steps and precautions to take.

"If he or she is in a good position, we should be able to learn the gender today. Would you like that?" Mandy asked the pair.

Lily looked towards Jackson as she fought so hard not to immediately respond with a "yes." He was already looking at her trying to gauge her reaction.

What do you want, Lil? He asked her.

I don't know. I'm not sure it's a good idea. I don't want to get too attached.

Her words pained him. He knew she was struggling with idea that everything might actually be okay this go around. Jackson was too. But not wanting to know, when the opportunity to do so was right there? He didn't understand.

"What are the chances?" Jackson asked her.

Mandy looked confused for a moment before responding slowly, "of boy or girl? Really it's fifty/fif-"

"No. I mean what are chances of things going poorly at this point?" The question stung on its way out. He hated asking it, but maybe if Lily could hear the numbers, it would make her feel better.

"Oh! I don't have exact numbers as I haven't worked it out but to end not so well as of the last time I saw you, since I haven't done the scan yet, I'd say maybe 25 to 30 percent range just to be safe? If all is well today, I'd put it at 25 maximum."

Jackson nodded in response. What do you think now? Do you want to know? He asked Lily.

I'm still not sure, Jacks. I can't afford to get my hopes up too high.

What if we let her see and put it in an envelope or something. Then if and when you want to, we can look? He hoped she'd compromise. He wanted to know so badly, but he would not do it if she wasn't ready to. He knew this was infinitely more difficult for her than it was for him.

After a few moments, she nodded her agreement. Jackson smiled and kissed her forehead before asking Mandy if that was something she could do. To which she immediately agreed. "Okay, let's see that baby!" Mandy exclaimed excitedly.

Lily lifted her shirt for Mandy and she got started. The first thing Jackson noticed was the strong, quick heartbeat that echoed through the room. Though they could hear it whenever they wanted, it was not as pronounced as it was through the monitor. Jackson brought their entwined hands up, placed a loving kiss on hers, and did not remove it from his face. He watched her take in the sound of the heartbeat and the tension leave her. She was staring at the screen, waiting for the image of their baby to pop up.

As much as he knew she didn't want to get her hopes up or get attached, each time they came and she heard or saw the baby, her whole body relaxed. It was as if she was anticipating bad news, and whenever it turned out to be the opposite, the relief just poured out from her.