No Escape

Chapter Twenty-One

AN: Holy shit! This story has reached 1K reads!!! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you are enjoying it! Drop a vote or a comment to let me know how I'm doing and what you think; constructive criticism is always welcome!!

Also I've just put out a new story called Who's Fault? Please go and give it some love. I've been working on it for the longest time and I'd really appreciate it 😊

Okay, okay. Back to business...

All Lily ever did was lay on her bed and cry, staring at Maisie's ultrasound. All she could think about was her and how she lost her. How it was all Lily's fault. She couldn't seem to gain control over her thoughts. All she thought about was those three weeks. The flashes of that wolf-beast, Carter taking Maisie from her, Lily failing at keeping her safe, and Jackson's words at the hospital. Lily really had nobody else to blame but herself for failing. If she had just protected her like she was supposed to, Maisie would still be growing and have a chance to live. Over and over and over again. The thoughts never stopped.

She was almost positive that everyone thought she was crazy, not that Lily saw or interacted with any of them. Now that she was thinking about it, that might be the reason why. She was sure that if any of them knew that Carter was a huge wolf-beast, it would confirm their suspicions of Lily's insanity.

Lily hadn't moved a muscle since getting back. Jackson, Adrienne, and Dylan all took their turns checking on her; trying to get her to talk, eat, or show any kind of emotion. She didn't though, she didn't even look at them.

Lily was sure that they thought she was weak. They didn't need or deserve this. For all she knew, they hated her... especially Adrienne. Lily hadn't visited her or asked about her son. She didn't even know his name! Thinking about Adrienne having a kid made Lily feel conflicted. It made her feel more like a failure, when she thought about Adrienne having her own child to care for, but Lily was stuck without anyone. Without Maisie. It killed her, for more reasons than one. It made Lily feel extremely guilty for feeling that way and because it was just another reminder that she had lost her baby girl.

She wasn't sure how long it had been since finding out about losing Maisie. Lily had the curtains drawn closed, so she barely noticed the rise and fall of the sun. Sometimes she wished that she could force herself to do what her friends wanted, but she just couldn't make it happen. Lily didn't have the energy for anything anymore.

The realization that Maisie wasn't the only one Lily lost hit her like a ton of bricks. She'd lost two other children throughout this disaster. One she'd never gotten to meet, not even on an ultrasound screen, or name for that matter. The other a poor, innocent two-year old girl that trusted Lily to keep her safe and she had just let her slip out of her fingers. Lily felt like the most horrible person on the planet.

Jackson was worried sick about Lily. He checked in on her whenever he was free throughout the day and took care of her. He removed her stitches when it was time to and replaced the wraps around her wounds. He tried so hard to get his mate to communicate with him or even just to look at him; he talked and updated her on what had been going on. How he wished with everything in him that there was something he could do to help her. The heartache that he had felt from her pain hadn't lessened, if anything it had gotten worse with the more time Lily laid there.

Even though Lily felt an urge to acknowledge him, she ignored it as a larger part of her had only wanted to be left alone to grieve. Every day it became more difficult to pretend as if she hadn't noticed him there. She knew she would give in soon. Jackson's presence was just so comforting to her, more than anyone she'd ever known. Lily couldn't make sense of it.

She had bigger things to worry about though. Like how Carter had turned into that wolf-beast and what he meant by what he said when Lily realized that he had been selling her off. She considered asking Jackson about it because a part of her, deep down, was telling her that he knew something about it; she wasn't sure how. But she couldn't. Every time she thought she could force herself to communicate with him, her thoughts, veered back to Maisie and the news of losing her at the hospital.

As if he had known Lily was thinking about him, Jackson knocked on her door and came in. Lily always knew when it was him somehow; her skin would always buzz with excitement and anticipation, even though she didn't feel that way. She wasn't sure how that could be. It was odd. She could hear his footsteps as he crossed the room to the couch and sat down on it. For a while it was quiet, but his emotions radiated off of him. Sadness, frustration, stress, guilt. There was so much guilt coming from him that when added to how much Lily felt, it was suffocating.

Jackson sighed but didn't say anything for a few more minutes, "I'm sorry, Lily. I should have looked. Harder to find you and gotten to you sooner. I'm so, so sorry." Jackson had apologized before, but this was different. This time he wasn't trying to console her, he was blaming himself and that along with the hurt he felt because of it was dripping from his voice.

Lily fought every instinct in her that told her to sit up and make sure he knew that it wasn't his fault, but she knew how torturous it was to be drowning in your own guilt. It made things that much more difficult. She cried from her own guilt she felt and frustration to the situation. Lily was about to make her move and sit up, but Jackson spoke again.

"I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I'm so sorry that I let this happen to you, that I couldn't get there sooner. But it's been two months and I'm so fucking worried about you. You haven't eaten or drank anything; you haven't moved a muscle. It's not healthy. I don't want to watch you deteriorate in front of me, but I will if I have to. I'm not getting up from this spot until you give me something. Something to let me know that you're not locked up in that head of yours. That you haven't shut the entire world out. Please Lily."

Lily wasn't sure how much longer she sat there fighting herself. She was lost in her jumbled thoughts and memories and eventually came to the conclusion that two months should have been more than enough time. More than enough time to properly grieve the loss of her baby. More than enough time torturing the three people she had somehow gotten close to. More than enough time to go without answers. To the blind eye, she had been sulking over nothing for way too long. Lily wasn't ready, but she needed to try, if not for her, then for Jackson. She couldn't put him through this anymore.

Memories of that whole week with Carter flew through her head multiple times from start to finish. As she considered what she was about to do, Lily realized that she was confused as hell in all of it. It didn't make any sense. So, if she was going to do this, there was one thing she was certain of:

She needed answers.