No Escape

Chapter Fifty-Five

It took less time than Lily expected to process and sort out all of the emotions that finding out she was pregnant brought up. The conflicting emotions were confusing and if she was honest, she hadn't completely figured them all out. But after having her first doctors' appointment, her worries were slightly lessened knowing that Mandy would be taking care of her. She wasn't so dumb to think that this wouldn't be difficult for her. She was scared, but happy.

She hadn't realized it before, but this was something that she wanted with Jackson. Maybe not so soon, but she did want kids with him. The shock and grief of losing Maisie made her forget how happy and excited she was to be a mom to someone her body made. To get to have that experience with Jackson? With him by her side, being there for and with her? She couldn't believe it!

With the week that passed, she felt like she was ready to share with the people that she was close to. Lily and Jackson first told Charlotte after they brought her home from daycare. The three of them squished together on her small bed, Charlotte in the middle, watching Disney movies. Lily's nerves were giving her pause, not sure how Charlie would respond. She didn't want her to think it would change her place with them or how much she loved her.

"Charlie, what do you think about being a big sister?" Lily asked her, watching her reaction closely.

Charlotte's face scrunched up in confusion at first, but then a smile grew on her face. "It be fun!" Seeing her so happy helped to settle some of Lily's nerves.

"That's good because you're going to be one!" Lily said, excitedly.

"Really?" She asked. Lily nodded at her. "When?"

"It's going to be a little while. The baby has to grow first." Jackson chimed in.

"Okay!" Charlotte said, then turned to Lily and hugged her. Lily pulled her close, feeling relieved that it went well.

Jackson observed his mate with so much love and happiness. He knew that she was worried, he was too but he couldn't let her see that. It would freak her out even more. Even through his concerns, he was so happy that this was happening. He felt so grateful that Lily was as strong as she was to even be willing to go through it. So, letting her see or feel his stress would not be beneficial for them.

Both he and Lily knew they had to be extra careful. While Mandy was optimistic, she did express some concerns. She had explained to them how the pregnancy was more at risk, given Lily's previous miscarriage and child loss experience, and wanted to see Lily weekly to check up and make sure everything was going smoothly. That put them on edge, but after talking about it they had started putting a plan together on what they were going to do to make sure everything would be okay.

The three of them went back to watching movies until it was time for dinner. Jackson carried Charlie downstairs while Lily held his free hand. They were going to tell everyone while they were all together. The group of them had quickly become her family. After everything she'd gone through, they were the ones that were there for her and supported her and Jackson.

Lily's nerves once again engulfed her. She knew everyone would be happy for her, but they wouldn't know the complications that came with it. They wouldn't know how scared she really was. She didn't want to tell them either. They would all worry and fuss over her and that wasn't what she needed or wanted. She wanted to see their genuine reactions to the news without putting a damper on it; she wanted everything to be as normal as possible.

When they entered the dining room, Dylan and his parents were already sat in their regular seats. Jackson pulled out Lily's chair for her, placed Charlie in her booster seat next to Lily, then took his place in his seat on the other side of her. Adrienne and David entered soon after from the kitchen with platters on their arms. They placed them down, then took their seats. Lily glanced around as everyone served themselves their food, wondering how she and Jackson would tell them. Her nerves and anxiety acting up once again.

Conversation flowed naturally for everyone except Lily, it seemed. She stayed quiet as they all gave a daily update and talked about plans they had coming up. Adrienne and David mentioned that they wanted to get away for a week or two. They had been wanting to do so for a while and now that things had settled in the pack, they felt like it was a good time to do so. Lily nodded as the others at the table enthusiastically encouraged them to go.

Jackson glanced at Lily as dinner was close to finishing up, noticing that she was quiet. He knew the others had taken notice as she was usually very involved in the conversations at dinner. You alright, Lil? He asked, keeping his eyes on her. He figured she was just anxious about breaking the news to everyone, but still didn't like the feeling of her uneasiness.

I just don't know what to say. She told him, though that was surface level and she knew that he was aware of that. So many worries were still running through her head, countless possibilities of what could happen. Even though she tried to remain optimistic, the negative thoughts were still the loudest and carried the most weight.

Do you want me to tell them?

Lily felt a bit silly for feeling relieved that he had offered, but nodded towards him anyway. She kept her eyes on him as he cleared his throat and began speaking, "actually, Lily and I have some news." Everyone's attention was suddenly on the two of them, but Lily never looked away from her mate. "Lily's pregnant."

Congratulations sounded from around the table. Lily smiled as she thanked them and answered their questions. She knew they would be excited for her and Jackson, but seeing and feeling their giddiness put her at ease. Lily looked around the table, glad she had opened herself up to these people. The pure happiness and excitement on each of their faces left her feeling emotional. She would do anything for them, just as she knew they would do the same. They were her family.

As the group of them talked and laughed with each other while they cleared off the table and washed dishes, Lily felt the happiness settle throughout her entire being. Ever since her mother died, she felt like a rag doll and a burden. Being here, with Jackson, his family, and the pack... she felt safe, respected, and loved. She finally felt like she belonged. She felt like she was home.

Lily smiled as the thought occurred to her. She glanced over to Jackson, smiling at him. He caught her eye and returned the smile. What? He asked her.

Nothing. It's just that... You're my home.

Jackson's eyes widened in surprise and happiness and his smile widened as his heart beat like crazy in his chest. You're my home too.

~~~

Oh heyyyy... 😅

Happy holidays! I hope this time of year has been treating you right and continues to do so.

See ya for the next one!

TM