Bound By Madness

16. Falling Leaves

Once again, I woke up with my cheek pressed against velvet. This time I was too emotionally drained to pull away quickly or try to pretend it hadn't happened. Instead, I just continued to lean against the man's shoulder as I sat and thought about the events of the past day... two days? How long had I been traveling with the Jester Assassin now? Surely not more than two days, right?

Amicus, the days aren't vanishing again, are they? It's not like with Agrane, is it? Am I being caught in a trap again?

"No, no, sweet Faith. The Jester Assassin is not like the old Breton at all. Oh no, this Cicero might lay traps, but he weaves a different kind of trap than Agrane ever did. One that is easy to escape if you desire to. No, the danger in this one's traps is that you may end up wanting to be caught in them," came the soft whisper from behind me, a gentle hand running down my back as I shifted slightly in place.

Wait, that wasn't Amicus' hand.

"Does Faith plan on staying awake this time? Cicero thinks it is time to take a break and have something to eat. He believes we might make it to the next town by tomorrow, as long as we do not stop too often," a soft voice came from next to me, the shoulder under my head shifting as the arm moved up to pat my head before being lowered back down to rest against my side.

I turned my head just enough to look at the man, taking note of how tired he seemed. How long had it been since he had slept? I don't remember him stopping at any point to make camp, nor take time at Whiterun to rest at the inn. He was always steering the wagon or, back in town, seeing that the repairs had been made so we could travel again. I doubt he'd gotten any rest and simply watched to make sure the work got done to his satisfaction.

Jester Assassin, you should rest after we eat. Even if just for an hour or two, you should not go too long without sleep. It would do no good for you to be tired if something happens. You never know when wolves will attack. I can't tell you how many I ran into before I came across you the other day.

The sudden laughter had me pulling my head away from the now shaking shoulder, blushing at the sudden squeeze his arm gave before he let go of me and slapped his thigh in merriment.

"Oh, sweet, thoughtful Faith, you need not worry about poor Cicero! He can take care of himself in a fight. Besides, Cicero is very used to having to work on minimal sleep. It wouldn't be the first time he's had to defend Mother after keeping watch for days before it was safe enough to rest. You need not worry about wolves getting the best of him," his voice sounded rough to my ears, telling me he was more tired than he wanted to admit to.

I believe you, Jester Assassin, but I'm telling you that you don't need to go without. I know I'm not as good as you and Amicus, but I promise I can at least keep anything that comes near us busy long enough for you to wake up and defend yourself. I would feel better knowing that you had at least gotten some rest while you had the chance.

The Jester who was an Assassin gave me a strange look before sighing at me. Wiping a hand down his face, he slowly steered the wagon off the path. As he shifted to climb down from his seat, he turned to me once more.

"If Faith promises she will not try to take advantage of Cicero while he rests, then he will do as she asks. Well, Faith can take advantage of Cicero if she changes her mind about letting him become one of her 'special friends' while she has him at her tender mercies?" Even now, he wouldn't stop trying to poke fun at me, teasing me relentlessly about something he knew was an uncomfortable subject for me.

But for once, I didn't feel like snapping at him and simply leaned forward to press my forehead against his own. The man was more tired that he'd even let on, sighing as he pressed back for a moment.

"Can Cicero take this as a yes?" he questioned softly as I pulled back again.

No, but I wouldn't mind seeing if we can perhaps become friends somehow. We don't know each other well enough yet for anything more than that. After all, we only met a couple of days ago, right? For now, take a nap and maybe we can work on that friend thing afterward.

He paused for a moment before giving me a small half-smile and nodding, soon moving away from the wagon to set up a small area to warm up some food and place a bedroll. Good, he really was going to take me up on having a nap. Alone.

I'm honestly not even sure why I offered to try to become friends. I hardly knew the man, since we had only met so recently. How much could one learn about someone in such a short amount of time? I mean, sure I knew he was a jester, as well as being an assassin since he'd never denied it when I named him as such. He was traveling with his mother, or so he claimed, even if I had yet to see her.

And he was lonely, sad sometimes even as he laughed. I preferred his real laugh, like the one he gave when I fell that first night we met. Sometimes he reminded me of Ellery with his cackling and teasing. Others, he reminded me of gentle hands holding me during the darkest moments when Amicus was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

Maybe... maybe I don't know him like I know Ellery and Amicus, but perhaps I know enough to call him more than a mere acquaintance. To call him something that was almost a friend? Becoming a friend? The thought was almost frightening after so long with just my two familiar companions to accompany me. Would it be like this when I met one of the treasures we sought? When I had to make that choice to open myself up to someone I didn't know and hope they didn't turn away from me?

Amicus, is this what it will be like when we find them someday?

"Isn't it always?"