Bound By Madness

3. Twisting Branches

If only I had known the truth sooner. Maybe I could have spared myself some of the heartbreak that came later, just in time for my 19th winter to draw near. Instead, I felt like I couldn't breath when I laid eyes upon him standing in an alcove with his hips nestled between another woman's thighs. If I'd had a voice, I would have screamed from the pain I felt. Instead, all I could do was gasp for air as I felt like my chest was being crushed.

Later, after I had run back home and shed all the tears I could, I confronted him about what I had seen. I'd thought my tears were over, but when I heard him say that he wanted a woman he could hear call out his name, hear whisper words of love in his ear as he held her, hear moaning as they made love... I cried until my body shook with the sobs that felt like they would never end. Even after he grabbed the random items he'd left in my room over the months we were together and exited, shutting the door behind him after setting the spare key on the bedside table, I was unsure if I would ever stop crying.

Weeks passed slowly and each day I felt a little more empty. My eyes ached from the tears that had finally run out, my throat parched and stomach empty from being unable to hold anything down in my emotional despair. I felt like I had lost everything I'd ever cared about and I was unsure if I would ever be able to feel whole again.

I could feel my mind slowly slipping further and further into a darkness I had avoided until one day I woke up and looked blankly at the book that seemed to whisper to me softly. Sweet, gentle promises of revenge for my pain crept across the pages when I finally reached out trembling fingers and opened the book, reading the words that almost burned into my mind until I could hear them even after I had closed the book and sat it back on the shelf.

It didn't take as long as I'd expected to find what I needed, finding some at the local apothecary shop for an only slightly ridiculous price and the rest bit by bit as I scoured alleys and sewer tunnels under the city. The largest catch of bones had been the sewers nearest the jail, although I had avoided going into the areas that were patrolled regularly.

Soon, with the Black Sacrament performed, I had only to wait. And wait I did, until finally, nearing the end of Morningstar, someone came to hear my plea for revenge against he who had wronged me. Some might think me petty in my desire for revenge, but I couldn't help wanting him to pay for my pain. So what if my own sins would never be washed away after this, so what if his blood would be on my hands just as much, if not more than it would be on the hands of the assassin this person promised to assign the contract I offered.

When he left, the khajiit took with him the written contract I'd created, listing everything I wanted and that which I offered in return for each request. For the kill itself, I offered coin and lots of it, to the tune of 1000 septims. If they made him suffer greatly before he died, it would be doubled. If they brought me visible proof of the deed as soon as it was completed, whether or not he suffered, then I would give them the dagger I'd planned once to give the Jester on the anniversary of the day we first became more than simply friends.

I did not care if I saw the assassin's face and I promised to keep myself in the chair facing the fireplace, so if they wished to remain unseen, they need only stay behind me. I also agreed that if I betrayed their trust by trying to see them without their permission, they would have every right to kill me and take whatever they wished from my room. Of course, I also knew that should the assassin decide to kill me anyhow and simply tell their leader that I had peeked, there would be nobody around to deny their claim, but the risk was something I accepted. I needed this revenge against the one who wronged me more than I felt the need to keep living without it.

In addition to the more 'simple' requests I had listed, I'd added one more optional task the assassin could perform for a bonus of their choice. Something that they could accept or refuse without worry complaint, for I would not be upset if they declined, as I could understand my final task was outside of the realm of their job as an assassin. Especially since it had nothing to do with their target.