Bound By Madness

26. Evening Fires

Once he had calmed down and we finished dragging the deer carcass to the camp, my Jester Assassin made good on his promise to clean the kill. Of course, by this point, I had found myself offering to assist him in whatever way I could. Or should I say, in whatever way he would allow me to... He barely let me help with anything and I had felt almost lucky when he asked me to assist with placing some of the meat on skewers around the fire for cooking. It wasn't until he was looking at the remaining meat with a frown on his face that I found a chance to really feel useful.

It was a good hunt and there should be enough meat to last us the whole trip and likely have plenty left over to give to the Family once we arrive, as long as we are not wasteful. Are you worried they might not like deer meat? If they don't, then it simply means more for us, right?

"Actually, Cicero is wondering how to make this much meat last the whole trip without spoiling. It might not get as hot here as it does in Cyrodiil, but it is still warm enough that it could turn from the heat. Especially as we head further south towards the warmer lands. Plus we need to worry about what the smell will attract. Cicero worries it might not be worth trying to take this much with us, but at the same time does not want to waste Faith's hard work during her hunt," he spoke slowly, concern filling his voice as he looked between the meat, the wagon, and myself.

I stood there blinking for a moment, surprised that his concern was over something so easily dealt with. The next moment, I was bent over in silent laughter, my arms curling around myself as I felt my eyes begin to water. An offended shout came from Cicero as I lost myself to the humor I found in his worries. Several minutes later, when I had finally caught my breath and the Jester Assassin had wandered over to check on the meat cooking slowly over the fire, I wandered over to him with a smile on my face.

Cicero... My friend, do you really think I would hunt something so large if I didn't know how to make the extra meat last? I may not know the spell to provide light and I might not be that good at spell magic in general, but I do know a few spells. I just don't like using magic in a fight because if it doesn't work, then it could cost my life if I was relying on it. I would rather use magic for stuff that if the spell fails, and it often does, I can just cast it again without worry.

I walked over to where he had placed the various cuts of meat, some large pieces we would likely not be using during the trip and other smaller cuts for daily meals. I wrapped the larger cuts together inside the cleaned deer hide, holding it closed as I concentrated on the faint feeling of magicka I could sense hidden deep inside.

Pulling gently upon the shifting force within, I let my thoughts focus on cold... snow, ice, frost, everything that reminded me of the chill of the freeze spell when I cast it, I pulled it in and then pushed it down at the pelt. It took a few tries, but the spell finally held long enough to put coat the hide and everything inside in a layer of ice. Of course, by this point, my fingers were turning numb from trying to force the cold magic through them.

I need to take a break before I can cast on the other meat, even if it will only get a frost of ice rather than a full freeze. Sorry, I'm not really that good at this kind of stuff. And I haven't really practiced any magic in a while, so that doesn't help. I got too used to just hunting little things like rabbits and birds since it was hard to carry a lot of meat when on my own. I was already weighed down too much to carry a lot of other stuff, even if it was basically free food. Easier to carry a little and supplement with small game and foragable foods.

I moved over to the fire and held my hands out towards the warm flames, frowning at myself for being so out of practice. I'd ignored the little skills I had as I focused on sewing and thieving skills, as well as the time I put towards keeping my dagger sharp and swift. I dreaded to think how much my other skills had sunk.

"Cicero didn't realize pretty Faith knew any spells. What other spells does she know? And perhaps she could tell him what other skills she is hiding that might be useful? Cicero would like to know what he has to work with, in and out of fights," he said as he wrapped a thick cloth around the frozen bundle of hide and meat, lifting it carefully into the back of the wagon and securing it into place.

It has been a while since I really thought of my other skills. I'm not sure if I could even remember them all at this point...

"Well, tell Cicero what you can remember for now and just let me know when you remember something else," he spoke before letting out a sigh, patting me on the head as he walked past to check the food again.

"Don't tell him about the stitches. You don't want him to treat you like the others do when they see them, do you? Remember what happened with the old Breton when he saw?" I could hear Amicus whisper from behind me, causing me to turn my head.

But he knows, doesn't he? Surely...

"No, he never really saw them. He likely misunderstood what you said. Remember, he told you to go to a priest, a healer to get them fixed? No, he doesn't know and if you tell him... No, just tell him you sew. You can even show him what you are working on-" Amicus began, only to be interrupted by a shout from Ellery.

"No! The cap is for me, not him! He has a cap of his own! He doesn't need to see mine!" Ellery came out from behind the wagon, a scowl on his face as he yelled.

"But he might want to see proof and we can't let him see her stitches, you know that," Amicus whispered to the Jester as my head turned from watching Ellery storm around the camp to tilting to hear Amicus from behind me.

"Faith? What is wrong?" I jumped a little when I felt the Jester Assassin's hand touch my shoulder, his velvet glove brushing against my skin as he began to pull away.

Quickly reaching up to grab his hand, I gave it a small squeeze before looking up at him.

They are arguing about what I should tell you and what should be kept to ourselves for now. We all worry because... not everyone accepts me the way I am...

I looked down as I felt the Jester Assassin shift and move to stand beside me. I didn't want to lose this friendship that was already so fragile and had only recently been gained, but I also didn't want to hide anything that might cost his friendship and his trust later on, perhaps in a manner that it could never be regained.

"If Faith does not want to tell Cicero something... if she is not ready to tell him yet, then Cicero can wait. As long as sweet Faith promises to tell him eventually, then Cicero will wait to know about that which worries her so," he said with a smile on his face, his hand giving mine another squeeze before turning to the skewers of meat. "Oh, Cicero thinks the food is ready! After we eat, Faith can show Cicero her magic again on the rest of the meat for the trip? Cicero is curious how she took a spell most use for combat and used it for food storage instead. He'd only heard rumor of some people using frost salts, but those are expensive to get ahold of, and it isn't like he can just leave Mother behind to go get his own. Even if he would enjoy the hunting and killing it would involve."

I promise Cicero, someday I will tell you everything. Just... not yet.