Bound By Madness

40. Forgotten Memory

"Faith? Is sweet Faith okay? Did Cicero say something he shouldn't have? If... if Faith is interested in the Initiate, then he won't interfere. He just worries that someone might try to take advantage of how caring Cicero's friend is. Please, please don't cry, dear Faith. Tell Cicero what he must do to make Faith smile again, please," soft words reached me as I felt gloved hands brushing at my cheeks, the world slowly coming back into focus as worried eyes the color of honey in shadows watched me.

Interested? Wha? What are you talking about, my Cicero? I don't understand, why do you think I would be interested in the boy? Dear Fool, I don't cry because of something you said. No, no. I cry because I think I may have done something I cannot undo and I am unsure what to do now, what choice to make. Do I take the known path, the safe path, the one I have always walked upon? Or do I take the unknown path that is filled with risk, with the potential to lose everything just for a chance to gain something that I still might never have in the end? It should be an easy choice, giving up what could be gained to keep what is already had, but this time... I find myself at a loss.

Bringing my hands up, I gently wrapped my fingers around his own before taking a small step away from him.

What do you do when you have a chance to gain something you never knew you wanted, but there is an equal or greater chance that you could lose not just the thing you were reaching for but also the treasure you already have?

"Cicero is... unsure how to answer that other than to ask a few questions of his own. Does Faith feel the thing she finds herself wanting is worth the risk? Will she be happy keeping what she already has or will she find herself eventually regretting not having tried for something more? Only Faith can answer those questions, for Cicero is simply a Fool and has not the answer for a question he has only been told part of. Cicero is going to go make something for him and Faith to eat, so she should spend that time thinking about her problem," the Fool, who was not as much a fool as he pretended to be, walked over toward the selection of pots and pans before grabbing one of each and searching through various cupboards for things to add to his meal creation.

After standing there watching him for a few minutes, I sat down at the nearest table and looked down at my hands. Was the risk worth the potential gain? Would it be worth chancing losing what I had to gain something more? Or rather, would I regret it if I didn't take the chance to find even a temporary happiness, even if it didn't last forever? Right now, I didn't have an answer for that and I didn't know how long it would take to find it, hours, days, weeks or even months. But no matter how long it took, at least I had time to search for the answer. And until I found it, I was able to keep my treasure close.

"Ahem, I believe that we had things to discuss before we were interrupted?" Babette's voice cut through my thoughts, bringing me back to an awareness that there were others in the room besides just me and my Jester Assassin.

Looking at the small vampire, I felt a sudden wave of exhaustion hit me. Of course, there were questions she wanted answers to. ANd thinking of questions, where had the Initiate Destin gone off to? Peering about the room, there was no sign of the young man.

"Destin has gone off to find out about his latest contract, so you need not worry about any interruptions from him. Now, as I was asking earlier, does Ellery always follow you around or is he capable of leaving your side? And if so, how far can he go before he reaches the limits of your bond?" Staring intently, she made it clear that she was not going to leave me alone until she had at least some kind of answer from me.

Ellery goes where he pleases. He usually stays close but he has gone so far as to leave towns before me if he thinks I am taking too long inside. I don't know what he does when waiting since I am not next to him obviously, but I have come out the gates sometimes and found him making all kinds of trouble.

"What kind of trouble?" Her eyebrow raised as she peered around the room before looking back at me, seeing me pointing at the chair that Ellery had seated himself within.

Well, there was this one time...

I glanced at Ellery to make sure he wouldn't be upset with me telling her anything about his little... escapades. Luckily, he looked more bored than anything else, so I turned back and continued.

This one time, I came out of Wayrest and he was trying to lure someone's horse away while their back was turned. Of course, Ellery was never good with horses so it wouldn't follow him more than a few steps before turning back around or stopping to munch on some grass. I hadn't heard Ellery curse that much in quite a while, not since the beggar back in... Well, we don't really talk about that anymore, not usually.

"Hmm. Well, what about sharing information he found out while away from you? Has he done that before?" She narrowed her eyes as she asked more questions, making me uncomfortable for a moment before I shrugged.

He usually holds onto information for his own reasons, but sometimes he'll tell me something if it is important or he's feeling kind. Oh, but he didn't really share any information when he first came back. He just kept talking about how I owed him a new cap for stealing his own, that I had to earn his forgiveness. He still mentions that, of course, but not as often. He talks about a lot of other things now. Amicus, too. Amicus was always rather forgiving of what I'd done, but he became more vocal as we all spent more time together. Especially after... after...

Frowning, I looked over at Ellery and pressed my fingers against my temples.

Ellery, I lost it again. The memory's slipped away from me. I know something happened, but I can't remember what it was. Remind me of that time, please?

"Our friend visited us, remember? He gave us a gift in exchange for a promise," Ellery spoke, his eyes shifting to the side to frown at the Not Child. "She doesn't need to know anything more than that. It's not her business what happened."

Oh, okay. Ellery says all you need to know is that a friend visited and gave us a gift.

"Who visited? What kind of-" She was cut off by a plate of food being sat before me, the smell of warm meat and seasoned carrots filling the air.

"Sorry to interrupt! Faith needs to eat so she can go and get some rest! She's had a busy day and Cicero needs to make sure she sleeps in a proper bed this time! He will not have her sleeping out in a corridor because her Siblings make her feel unwelcome with too many questions and she didn't have a chance to bring a bed of her own into her and Cicero's room before he fell asleep. Something that Cicero is going to fix as soon as they have both eaten," the man spoke quickly as he placed his own plate next to mine and sat down, making it clear that the conversation was over for the night.

Turning to me with a gentle smile, he patted my head and pointed to the carrots.

"Make sure you eat all of them, sweet Faith. Cicero made sure they would be just how his dear friend likes them, sweet and crunchy!"