Bound By Madness

82. Smother Everything

Even after having spent several minutes swimming through icy water before climbing aboard the Emperor's boat, I could still feel the blood on my hands, the shocked look of Commander Maro burned onto my eyelids as I had watched Cicero put his blade to use with a manic grin spread across his face. His laughter still rang in my ears, echoing within my mind as it was caught somewhere between haunting and beautiful.

I'd been so confused about how to feel, part of me wanting to be horrified at how easily he'd taken joy in stealing a life away, while the rest of me was... satisfied at the death of the one who had dared order the death of my Family. The very idea that I might someday come to enjoy death as much as my Cicero did... left me feeling ill, yet I couldn't deny that I was still deeply in love with him.

Ahh, but such thoughts should be left for another time. Right now, I should focus on making sure the area ahead of us was clear for Bastian and Cicero to move forward since we no longer had Ellery with us to scout ahead. No, such would have to be my job from now on.

Shifting to peer through the open door I stood beside, I held my hand up to indicate two sailors and a guard sitting in the room, sinking down as I prepared to sneak inside and take out the guard. When a blur of red and black rushed past before I could take a single step, I sighed quietly, knowing my Jester Assassin was already doing the job. He was truly taking the chance to use his blade in ways he'd been denied for several years.

"Die, die, die!"

So much for sneaking through this area, silly Cicero. Ahh well, at least he's having fun...

"Yeah... are you sure you're okay with this? Seeing him like this?" Bastian's voice whispered from the doorway as he watched Cicero dance about the room, a smile on his face as he finished off the last of the men inside.

I knew what he was long before I fell in love with him, my brother. Besides, Amicus is an assassin as well, so I am not new to being around someone who enjoys killing. It wouldn't be right to turn him away now, simply because he sees death differently than I do. Just as he doesn't expect me to thrive on murder, I can't expect him to stay his blade when he finally has a chance to use it again. That would be... like asking Ellery to give up his life again now that he has it back. I can't be that cruel to him.

"I... I understand. But if ever-" He stopped when I held up my hand and looked at him with a sad smile.

It's too late for me, my Bastian. To stop loving him now? That would be equivalent to cutting out my heart and asking me to somehow keep living. I would die for him, Bastian. And if he should ask it of me, for him I would kill. For him, I have killed already.

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I walked along the edges of the room, looking at the items within the locked cases before my eyes strayed to the books filling the shelves and laying upon various surfaces. I could hear Bastian and the soon-to-be-dead Emperor talking in the background, only turning when I heard my Cicero speak up, impatience coating his words.

"We are here for a contract. We do not make deals with the targets of those contracts, Listener."

Walking over, I placed a hand on my Jester Assassin's shoulder, looking up into his eyes when he turned his gaze to me.

What is going on? What deal do you mean? I... I was a little distracted and missed what everyone was saying.

Blushing, I lifted my other hand, a book held within my fingers before glancing toward the Emperor with a frown. He was watching the three of us from his seat behind the desk, a small smile on his lips that faded when he saw me looking at him.

"He wishes for the Listener to kill the one who made the contract," Cicero said with a growl, his fingers reaching up to tug lightly at his hair.

Setting the book down on the desk, I turned fully to my Jester Assassin and reached up to gently take hold of his hands, bringing then down to hold against the sides of my face as I smiled up at him. I could see Bastian watching from beside us, a small furrow in his brow as he kept glancing at the Emperor to make sure he didn't try anything.

Don't worry my Cicero, Bastian knows better than to kill the one who hired us. It would be bad for the Brotherhood's reputation if we began killing those who would pray to our Mother, after all. No, that would do nothing to bring us more petitioners and I doubt it would do anything to bring more Siblings to our Family either. And we need more Siblings. Our Family has gotten too small. How can we spread our influence across Tamriel if we do not have a large enough Family to stretch Mother's reach with?

Turning to stare at the man who had brought so much pain to people I cared about, even if simply as a byproduct of his choices and his war, I gave a sharp smile and looked back at my Cicero.

My love, you have suffered more, have lost more than any of us here because of this man, whether or not by his direct hand. Surely our Listener would not deny you the chance to have a little bit of... justice.

For a moment, he just stared at me with his honey and gold eyes wide before a smile suddenly appeared, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he leaned forward to press his forehead against mine.

"Really? Does sweet, kind Faith really think the Listener would allow poor Cicero such an honor?" I smiled at the excitement in his voice, his fingers moving to caress my cheeks as he pulled back to look at our Bastian.

"If Faith thinks you should be the one, who am I to argue. After all, she is Mother's favored Child," he muttered before turning to examine one of the cases on the far side of the room.

Turning back to me, his smile seemed to grow even bigger, the gold in his eyes almost glowing as he leaned forward again. Reaching up to pat his cheek, I grinned and spoke four words before joining Bastian to start unlocking the cases. No sense in leaving all the trinkets behind. The Emperor wouldn't need them anymore, anyhow.

Have fun, my love.

The way his smile twisted at my words let me know there would be no mercy for the Emperor long before the first pained gasp was heard, my hands trembling before I forced them still and shifted the lockpick back into place to start over again.

Calm, calm, don't think of anything but that which is before you. Just like Agrane taught you. What Cicero does will not stop you from your task. Focus Faith, focus and bring some lovely trinkets home for the Family you have left.

Taking a deep breath, I smiled when I heard the click of the lock, ignoring the grunt of pain from behind me as I moved to the next case.

Breath. Just breath.