Bound By Madness

19. Seasons End

It was still awkward between us by the time we reached Riverwood, although at least we were talking again. I still was unsure why I had told him he could become a treasure, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this strange man who was both Jester and Assassin had become someone I cared about. I cared if he was getting enough to eat, had rested when he had the chance, even if his injuries had been seen to.

Ahh, but now we were in town, the wagon's wheels taking us down the main road towards the shop. I could only assume it was to restock while we had the chance, glancing at the man beside me as his eyes peered about, darting to each person and marking their placement. I could almost see him tagging them in his mind as either potential trouble in the case of guards, and potential annoyances for the citizens, in case we had to fight for some unexpected reason.

Tapping his shoulder, I waited until he was done looking around and allowed his eyes to rest on my lips as he slowed the wagon to a crawl.

"Yes, quiet Faith? Did you need something from Cicero?" His voice raised and lowered seemingly at random, but I could hear the sigh he was trying to hold back.

He was still unsure of how to behave around me, having commented earlier that sometimes my behavior was a little bit... erratic at times. I still didn't understand what he meant, but he must have seen something in my expression since he'd proceeded to give a small chuckle and shake his head before turning back to steering the wagon.

Are we getting more supplies while we are here? If so, I would like to see if they have any new items at the shop. Hopefully, the angry Woman and the upset Shopkeep aren't arguing this time.

"Well, we could use some more apples, since Cicero didn't get any at Whiterun. If Faith is willing, Cicero will give her the coin to pick up some while she is in the shop. Cicero would prefer not to leave Mo- the wagon unguarded. He has very precious cargo to protect, so he will stay behind while Faith goes inside, yes?" The cautious look he gave me when he stumbled over his words had me barely holding back a flinch.

Yeah, I'll get us some apples. Don't worry about the coin. I don't mind paying my own way and we have both been eating the meals you share with me. I'll try to finish up quickly so we can move on. I know you want to head out again before too much time passes.

With a quick half-hearted smile at the man, I climbed down from the cart and hurried towards the trader's shop. As soon as I stepped inside, I noticed the somber attitude within. Instead of arguing like before, the man and woman were speaking quietly to each other, worried looks on their faces. Peering around to see if any new goods had arrived since I was here, I quietly moved closer, listening in on their conversation.

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I placed the heavy sack next to me after climbing back into the wagon, a frown upon my face as I thought about everything I had learned inside. The news was not good and I didn't look forward to sharing it with the Jester Assassin, but it would do no favors to either of us to keep it to myself. Peeking over at the man beside me, I could see his eyes were already on me, his lips pulled down into a deep frown of his own.

"You bought much more than apples, Cicero sees. He thought Faith was going to try to be quick about her business in the shop... Did she lose track of time? Cicero would have left Faith to guard the wagon if he knew she was going to take so long," he muttered, ignoring the wince I gave at his words.

Helgen was attacked, burned to the ground... by a dragon. The man said that bandits have taken over what is left of the place and the guards are too busy watching for the dragon to attack another town to get rid of the bandits. Is Helgen where you were to meet your family? If so, I'm sorry. They said nearly everyone died in the attack. I'm so very sorry, Cicero...

"And how did silent Faith find this out?" The simple question had me blinking in confusion for a moment before seeing the look in his eyes, caution and a sense of wary distrust.

Ahh, that's right. He still didn't really trust me yet. I hadn't proven myself to be anything other than a strange woman who had caught his interest, after all. No, he might act kind at times and playful at others, but I was still just a strange and 'erratic' person who might or might not become a friend. If he even wanted that anymore.

People talk when they think nobody is listening. And sometimes even when they know others are around. The woman may not have cared to talk with me, but the man knew his letters and had information he was willing to share.

Reaching into my pouch, I pulled out the notes the man had written down upon my request and passed them to the man, my eyes turned away to gaze towards the road leading south. Would he demand we continue south? And if he did, would we be able to defeat the bandits if we had to fight them?

After a few minutes of silence passed, I felt a touch upon my shoulder that made me flinch at the unexpected contact. Taking a deep breath and giving a mental shake, I turned my head towards the Jester Assassin, unsure what to expect. Definitely not the sad look on the man's face when I met his gaze.

"Cicero is sorry. He's just not sure how to treat confusing Faith after earlier. He understands part of why Faith is the way she is and Cicero does like pretty Faith, but he doesn't like it when he is unsure what the rules are with her," he whispered, his eyes closing for a while before he looked up again at me. "Until Faith can tell Cicero her rules, can decide on what she wants, he's not sure if he can see them becoming friends. He needs to know where to stand with her that the ground will not suddenly crumble from beneath him. So for now, let us just remain companions on an adventure. Even if it seems we must turn around and take a different path than before. At least the trip is not so close to being over, right?"

I couldn't even respond as he slowly began steering the wagon down the path until we found a place open enough to turn around and head back north. No, instead I just sat there in my seat trying to focus on breathing. Had I said something wrong? What had I done? Did I even remember or was I forgetting things again? Pulling my hands up, I slowly hid my face from the world around me.

Oh Ellery, Amicus, am I breaking? No, no, no, I can't break now. Not now, I just can't...

Suddenly, I felt far too vulnerable without my stitches holding me together, the patterns there to keep me from falling apart.