Bound By Madness

70. Quiet Moments

In the days that passed since that awkward meal, I had spent more and more time with my Cicero or alone in our room, trying to avoid the tension that filled the rest of the Family. Of course, it hadn't been like that at first, but after a few uncomfortable meetings with Siblings that didn't seem to understand my desire to return their former leader to her position at some point in the future... well, I had ended up tired of trying to explain myself, until the only members of the Family I still talked to were Babette and those rare chances to talk to the Too Tall Nord when he dared to leave his wife's side.

Ultimately, I spent most of my waking moments either dancing with Cicero if he wasn't busy with Mother or working on Ellery's newest cap, a lovely black and gold velvet cap with a faint pattern of embroidered suns and stars in silver and gold thread. Truly, this cap was going to be the best one I'd created so far and I was certain that Ellery would at least say something about this one, even if he refused it. Surely he would at least compliment the fine stitching or the lovely embroidery! After all, my Cicero was quite enchanted by the soft velvet when I'd shown him my work.

Each night, when Cicero returned from caring for Mother, we would talk about various things for a few hours before slipping into bed and curling up against each other as we fell asleep. Some nights, we would talk about the Family, about Mother and Father, or about the remaining contracts that led up to the assassination of the Emperor. Others, we would talk about ourselves, sharing simple things like favorite colors and meals, as well as the places we had traveled to during our lives.

Unsurprisingly, Cicero adored red and black while I had a preference for red and gold. Not that I disliked black, it simply didn't catch my eyes like red and gold always seemed to. Like the flecks of gold I had noticed in my Cicero's eyes, hidden within the honey-brown that I sank into so often these days.

Cicero loved to nibble on sweet rolls and carrots while I had fallen for the taste of his venison stew and could happily eat it every day. He spoke of Cheydenhall and Dawnstar with a sad fondness before glancing at me as he mentioned having once spent a few days in the Imperial City for a contract, his last before taking his place as Keeper. I mentioned the time I spent in Elsweyr following the caravans and High Rock apprenticed under the old Breton thief before wandering my way into Skyrim.

And so it continued until the Listener returned with the Mysterious Sister, the entire Family gathering to hear the news of their contract. I could see the guilt my Bastian tried so hard to hide from the rest of the Family, so once most of them had wandered off to celebrate the success of the contract the two had pulled off so well, I asked my brother if he wanted to go find a crypt or cave to wander through.

"That... Yeah, that would be nice. But only if Cicero doesn't mind?" He looked at the Jester Assassin as he spoke, tilting his head a little in thought. "Actually, Cicero... Would you like to come with us?"

"Oh! The Listener would invite Cicero to go with him and lovely Faith? To someplace where he could stab, stab, stab things?! Oh, Cicero would love to go along!" He danced in place excitedly for several moments before his shoulders slumped and he frowned. "Sadly, Cicero's duty to Mother and her safety keeps him from being able to accept the kind offer. But he thanks the Listener for thinking of Cicero."

Is Mother still not safe here, my Cicero? Astrid is under watch by the Family and surely the others would not try anything against Mother. Unless... have you found something out that I don't know about, my Jester Assassin? Should I leave Ellery here with you to help keep watch while we are gone? Or... Perhaps we shouldn't leave if Mother is unsafe. I don't want to leave if someone is planning something against her.

"No no! Faith and our Listener should go and take the chance to enjoy themselves! After all, the Family has already decided to send other members for the next step in the assassination of the Emperor, so you have time before you will be needed again. Cicero does not know anything for sure, but until he knows Mother is safe... He can't take any chances. Do not let his worries stop you from having fun! Ah! Perhaps pretty Faith can bring Cicero home a trinket like she brings home for her Brothers and Sisters this time? Something he can wear like the pretty ring she gave him?" He shifted closer before fluttering his lashes at me playfully, leaning over slowly before pressing a quick kiss against my forehead and dancing away as he laughed and chuckled.

I stood quietly, watching him as he tried to ease my worry with laughter and playful rhymes, but it wasn't until Ellery spoke that I felt able to relax, even as he left me questioning when he started becoming so much... kinder.

"Don't worry, Faith. I'll keep watch on your Jester Assassin. But you have to promise to be extra careful while you are gone. Don't take any chances. Amicus can only do so much to keep you safe and I won't be there to check the tunnels for you. We can't lose you, Faith. I can't lose you."

I'll be careful. I promise. And I'll bring back trinkets for everyone, but the best trinket will be for you, Cicero!

Smiling, I reached out for his hands, soon joining him in a graceful dance across the floor one more time before I left to prepare for the upcoming trip with the Listener. For the next several minutes, my world consisted only of soft touches, gentle movements, and flecks of gold swimming within a sea of honey-brown.