Bound By Madness

62. Separation Anxiety

My oldest friends are Ellery and Amicus. I don't know you... Do I?

I couldn't help a small feeling of doubt, remembering the words Amicus had whispered just moments ago before leaving to help protect our Listener. The casual way Ellery was sitting at the table didn't do anything to dispel the feeling.

"Ha! I can see the wondering in your eyes, Juni! You might not remember me, but you still remember me! I'm in there, buried within your mind and you'll never be fully rid of me! After all, you made me a promise, Juni Bug. And you can't break this promise without sacrificing your dearest companions. You wouldn't want to do that, now would you?" He grinned viciously at me, his teeth seeming to gleam in the odd lighting the candles provided.

I told you, my name is Faith. I would like you to call me by my name.

"Ah, you might be going by Faith now, but your name was Juniper once, back when we first met. It matters not if you have forgotten because I'll always remember, Juni Bug! I don't forget such interesting things! Like cheese! Have you ever tried the cheeses of Skyrim? They even have a cheese they make from mammoth milk! Can you imagine how mad the person to first try that must have been? Not that I have to imagine since I met the man! Ha! Now there was an interesting fellow!" He reached out and lifted his goblet, slowly sipping from it as he eyed me.

Feeling anxious at the thought of this strange man knowing things about my past that I had forgotten, I reached up and pushed my sleeve up my arm, my fingers twitching as I ran them over the revealed stitches. I felt a slight comfort in the familiar feeling of thread under my fingertips, some of the tension in my shoulders easing as I looked over at Ellery.

"Stop agitating her, Sheo. You know she doesn't remember you after your visits. She's never remembered you and harassing her is not going to change that. Besides, I told you last time that even if you are our friend, you do not have the right to make her upset. The promise does not extend that far, old man," Ellery snapped, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the man who simply began laughing as he turned his gaze to my Jester.

"Ahh, I missed this delightful conversing with you, Elly! It brings me such joy to have you here that I could just rip out your innards! Ah, but that wouldn't work at all... Oh well! We have more important things to discuss. Like Cheese!" The man, Sheo, cackled for a moment before stabbing a fork into the plate of cheese nearest him and smiling.

I don't care about your cheese! Don't you dare say such horrid things to Ellery! He's a better man than you could ever hope to be! He's my-

"He's a sign of your madness and I love everything about it! Don't ever change! Unless it's to gain another 'companion' of course! That, my dear, would be most entertaining! Ahh, but we have other things to talk about. I noticed you found another of my little... projects," Sheo smiled as he leaned back in his seat, his eyes almost burning as he peered at me. "Tell me, how is my Fool doing these days?"

He is not your Fool! He's my Cicero and you can't have him! You can't have any of my treasures! I won't let you have them!

"Oh, I won't take any of them from you. Besides, didn't you tell me I was a treasure last time?" A wild cackling spilled from his mouth as he leaned forward, his chest nearly resting against his legs as he waved one hand through the air as if trying to wave away the mad glee that filled him to overflowing.

But... How can you be a treasure if I can't even remember you?

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"And then I had to use the Wabbajack on one of the guards because nothing else was working! Hey... Hey Faith, are you listening?" The Listener stopped as he was about to walk into our room at the Inn, his hand raising as if to reach out for me before halting midair. "Are you sure that Sheo guy didn't do anything to you?"

The way he'd been looking at me since returning with Amicus had me feeling almost as anxious as I'd been with Lord Sheo. He looked like he was trying to find something that he wasn't sure was there, like when I was trying to find a thread I wasn't sure I'd actually bought from a merchant. It had me uncomfortable and part of me wanted to confront him about it, but the other part wanted to run off and hide.

Destin, why are you-

"My name isn't really Destin. Just like your name isn't really Faith, is it... You're Juniper," he watched as I took a step back, the desire to run growing stronger with each word he spoke. "And I- Juniper, it's me, Bastian."

No, no you're not. Bastian is dead. Mom and Bastian died back in Bruma. You can't be Bastian.

"Mom didn't die in Bruma. She died in Anvil and I was sent to the orphanage. Mom tried to find you, but she didn't know where you had gone and then she got sick... I'm sorry, Juniper. I wish... I wish you could have seen her one more time before... She missed you, we both did, but she understood why you left," he stood watching me, his hands caught in the air between us as if unsure what to do with them.

Shaking my head, I took another step back, unsure if I could dare to believe what this man was telling me. Could I actually take the chance and trust what he said? It didn't feel safe after everything we had just gone through with Sheo... With Sheogorath. But at the same time, this was the Listener, the one chosen by Mother and trusted by my Cicero.

Reaching up, I dug my fingers into my hair and slid down the wall I had backed into.

My Bastian was alive all this time? I missed all this time with him while he grew up? I- I failed my Bastian so much, how could he ever forgive me? He must hate me so much...

"Because we're family and I've been looking for you since I ran from the orphanage when I was fifteen. I forgave you for leaving years ago, Juniper. How could I ever hate my beloved sister who only left to try and save me? Besides, now we're family twice over and I don't think Cicero and the Night Mother would want us not to get along, right? We have to bring her children to accept her again and we can't really do that if we are unable to even accept each other, now can we?" Kneeling down, he slowly reached out and pulled me into his arms, hugging me close as he ran one hand up and down my back. "It's going to be okay, I promise."

When did you grow up so much?