Bound By Madness

11. Silent Storm

"Don't worry, sweet Faith. Kind, gentle Faith. We will find treasures of our own, someday. I promise, greater treasures will be ours than you could ever dream of. Rare and wondrous treasures, just like I promised you. Remember?" Amicus whispered softly into my ear as we walked slowly up the hill towards the farm.

I knew he was trying to take my mind off of the family I had lost, all those years ago, and it brought a small smile to my lips that he did so. But I couldn't help wondering what had happened to Bastian, to the one person I had treasured even more than our mother and father.

Had he suffered before he died? Or was he somehow still alive out there somewhere? I knew it was unlikely, but I couldn't get him out of my mind right now, remembering how his dark hair framed his sun-kissed skin, bright eyes gleaming like jewels as they'ed watched me through thick dark lashes. He'd been so innocent back then. And I'd left him behind, even if it had been to provide that which our mother couldn't, especially after father had died. Had he thought I'd abandoned him?

Ellery... Ellery, please bring the laughter back! I don't want to think about such sad thoughts! Please!

I curled my arms around my torso as I struggled to breathe, panic slowly filling my lungs as I remembered how sick Bastian had been when I left. What if mother hadn't gotten the coin to buy him medicine in time? What if all the coins I had sent for her to take care of Bastian had been for nothing?

No, no! The couriers all said there had been a boy with her. Oh, but what if they had been lying? What if-

"Silly Faith! You shouldn't dwell on such thoughts! No matter what you have lost in the past, you have us now. Or are we not enough anymore? Perhaps you are going to replace us with that other jester?" Ellery tumbled and dance around me before vanishing behind me again, his words broken up between the laughter that often spilled from his lips.

Of course not! I don't even know the man! I'm just helping him because it's the right thing to do!

"And since when did that matter to you? You stopped trying to help others when that gutter rat of a beggar tried to kill you for the coin you had. You still bare the scars, even if they are hidden under all those pretty stitches you wear for me," he whispered into my ear before dancing past me yet again.

As he turned to glance at me, I reached out for him, silently begging him to stop tormenting me with his words. Didn't he know how much I needed him right now, how I needed his rare kindness that made the torment bearable? He danced away from my hand, refusing as always to allow me to touch him, but I could hear him sigh softly at me.

"Faith... Kind, foolish Faith, don't you understand? I simply wish-" Ellery's words were cut off by a shout from the farm ahead of us.

"Who are you? What do you want? Did that fool send you?!" An angry man stood there, his face set in a scowl as my eyes switched from Ellery to the farmer.

Oh. I hadn't expected an Imperial, his skin dark from days spent under the sun. Even in the dark, I could see that much. But that begged the question of why an Imperial would treat one of his own countrymen so harshly, for it had been obvious the other jester had been a citizen of Cyrodiil by both his features and his familiar accent. Had this man no feeling of solidarity for a fellow Imperial when surrounded by Nords? Or was it that he'd been living here so long, he had forgotten what he was?

Oh, or maybe he'd always lived here and so didn't have any desire to help a fellow Imperial because he didn't see himself as one... How sad that must be, not to feel like you had a home of your own but instead spent all your life living in someone else's land and never truly belonging no matter how much it was the land of your birth.

If not for the angry look on his face, I would feel far more compassion for the man. Nobody should have to feel like a stranger in the land they were born to. The sneer that was growing on his face, however, stopped any desire to pity him. No, no, there was nothing in this man that deserved my sympathies. Those were best kept for the Jester that was Cicero who waited with his mother down the road.

The jester needs help. His wheel has broken and he has no tools to fix it. Please, the rain is a cruel thing when one has no way to escape it.

I tried to gesture my needs as I framed the words upon my lips, knowing better than to hope that the farmer would also understand me as the jester had. No, such people were far too rare and I had every reason to doubt that a mere farmer with no kindness in his heart would have bothered to ever learn such a skill when his own voice worked perfectly fine.

"Stop mumbling, I can't hear a thing your saying," his voice grew rough sounding, his hands clenching around the farm tools he held. "I don't have time to waste. My wife waits for me with a meal that grows colder with every passing minute. I've no time to waste on fools."

I could feel my own anger building in my chest, knowing that this man would never agree to help with the wagon wheel. Not with me unable to use words to convince him. No, he would leave the poor jester to stand in the rain, his body growing cold and wet as illness took hold. Bastian's face, flushed red with fever, flashed before me and the world turned red.

--------

I picked my way down the path back to the road, the bag that was thrown over my shoulders heavy from the weight of the tools it held. I was sure that if I tried, I could remember what father had done to get the wheel to stick on the little cart he'd used to haul ore up and down the mineshaft. Surely a wagon wheel couldn't be that much different.

Jester! Loreius wouldn't help but I have his tools! If you can find a light to see by, I'll do my best to put the wheel back on your wagon myself!

I smiled at the man happily as he stared at me, his honey-brown eyes wide as he looked at the rain slowly washing the rest of the red from my face. I could feel my fingers twitch a little as I felt the need to add new stitches to the pattern on my arms. Maybe some nice red flowers among the leaves that trailed down towards my wrists.

Yes, yes, roses sound lovely, don't you think Ellery? Bright red roses.

"Cicero has a lamp he can light for the interesting stranger to work with. Perhaps she can tell Cicero how she convinced Loreius to give her his tools while she works?" The wicked smile that spread across his face had Ellery cackling as the jester spoke to me.

Why, he felt so bad for not helping earlier that he was just dying to let me take them, dear Jester who is Cicero!