Use Me - C.M.

Chapter 21

I took the two remaining tests that came in the box, feeling more at ease that they both read negative as well. I threw them away, going to sit on the couch and pulling up the voicemail Conor left me.

"Baby, I know you're upset but please talk to me. I'm sorry and I love you."

I pulled the phone away from my ear, staring at the screen. I wasn't pregnant. However, I couldn't help but consider the reaction I got from him when he thought I could be. Exhaustion overcame me as I laid down, unable to function any longer with the lack of sleep I had gotten over the last few days. I closed my eyes, deciding I would call him after taking a short nap.

I woke up later on to a persistent knocking at the door. I hit the button on my phone. Three texts and four missed calls from Conor. It was now just after one in the morning. So much for a short nap. I scrambled off the couch, stumbling to the door and looking through the peephole. I sighed, pulling it open.

"Conor." I croaked.

"I didn't hear back from you and Hannah told me you were here. I got worried." He was fidgeting, his eyes wide and he was holding a plastic bag.

"Come in." I said, and he followed me inside to the couch.

He sat down facing me and placed his hands on my knees. "Layla, listen. I'm sorry I upset you. I know I sounded like a complete jackass, but I was scared. I didn't know what to say."

I sighed. "Conor--"

"Let me finish."

I nodded for him to continue. "This isn't something I was expecting but it doesn't mean I'm going to let you deal with it alone. I-if you're pregnant, we'll figure it out. If you want to have this baby, I'll be there with you every step of the way. I-I don't know if I'm ready to be a parent, I won't lie...but I love you and I would do anything for you. We did this together, and we'll continue doing it together."

I stared at him. I had never seen him so worked up. He was shaking slightly, unable to sit still and he was gripping my hands like his life depended on it. Conor was always so carefree and goofy. This was a completely different side of him.

"I got a test." He said, reaching for the bag.

I smiled slightly, taking it from him and sitting it on the coffee table.

"Please say something." He said nervously.

I reached forward, placing a hand on his cheek. "I'm not pregnant, Conor." I said softly.

His eyebrows pulled together as he processed what I said.

"What?" He finally choked out.

I shook my head. "I took a test a little while ago. I was going to call you, I didn't realize I had been asleep so long. I haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately."He let out a shaky breath, leaning forward and placing his head on my lap. "Oh my God."

"I'm sorry I freaked you out for nothing."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Don't apologize." He sat up, looking into my eyes again before pulling me into a hug.

We sat that way for a few minutes, just holding each other in silence.

"Did you really mean all that? About raising a baby?" I asked curiously.

He pulled back, moving towards me but putting his arm around the back of the sofa. "I did. I realized I sounded like a total jerk. I love you and I want to be with you. It kind of terrifies me to think of becoming a father right now, but if it happened, I couldn't just leave you to do it alone. It would be my baby too."