Use Me - C.M.

Chapter 22

Days passed and Conor and I hadn't spoken much. He came back over once and the conversation we had didn't seem to help at all. We texted a few times and spoke on the phone twice. He had been at the studio a lot and I was working as much as I could to distract myself.I went to therapy, trying to make some sense of what happened between us. I didn't know who else to talk to. She basically told me what I already knew. I was still working through trust issues and Conor was further along in his commitment to me than I was to him. She told me that he was probably frustrated because he wanted to take another step forward in our relationship but felt rejection from our conversation. I went home that night feeling a little better but still confused.When I arrived at the apartment, Hannah and Anth were sitting on the couch watching a movie.

"Hey, Hun." Hannah said casually.

"Hi." I replied. "Hey Anth."

"What's up?" He muttered.

"Not much."

"Have you talked to Conor today?" Hannah asked.

I put my bag on the table and sat in the chair adjacent to them. "Just a couple of texts."

"Oh my God, he's got to get it together." She huffed.

"Has he said anything to you?" I asked, looking at Anth.

He looked at me for a moment. "Um..."

"Spill it!" Hannah shrieked. "If he's talked to you, you have to tell Layla."

He sighed. "Fine, but you didn't hear it from me."

I nodded in agreement.

"It may not even mean anything, but when he was all panicky thinking he knocked you up, he called me."

I blushed in embarrassment. "Fantastic. What did he say?"

"Well...I managed to calm him down after a few minutes, but he mentioned something about wondering if he should propose, you know, if you WERE pregnant. He also said something about Christmas and possibly doing it then..." He trailed off.

"Wait, WHAT?!" Hannah squealed.

Anth nodded. "I was at the studio with him last weekend after he left your place. He was pretty bummed."

I stared at him, my heart pounding out of my chest. No wonder he was upset. Conor was thinking about proposing to me when he thought I was pregnant. He only knew for mere hours before I found out I wasn't, and that was one of his first thoughts. To propose. And I had told him hours later that I had never thought about marrying him. I snapped out of my trance when I heard Anth calling my name.

"You can't tell him I told you this, you hear me?" He said sternly.

I nodded my head furiously. "Yeah, no, of course. I won't say anything, I promise."

He nodded hesitantly, seemingly content with my response.

"Thanks, Anth. I'll see you guys later." I mumbled, making my way to my bedroom.

For hours I laid in bed thinking about what Anth told me. I had carefully pieced together what I was going to say to Conor without throwing Anth under the bus. I texted him asking if I could come by and talk after work tomorrow and he agreed.

~*~

The next day dragged on painfully slow but I was finally on my way to Conor's house. My hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly as I pulled into his driveway. I took a deep breath, stepping out onto the pavement and walked up to his front door. He was already waiting for me like he usual does, making me feel slightly better.