Newly Not Cis

Shock

James didn't know what to say back to her. They were the only one that kept treating him like a guy after finding out what happened. If they started treating him like a girl, he didn't know how he would cope. His body felt so wrong, being referred to as a girl felt wrong. 

"Here go try this one on." Katie sounded tired. 

"But I'm not a girl, I don't want to wear a bra."

"I know but you need to try this on"

He felt like he was going to puke. He needed to sit down or get out of this situation, this wasn't normal, how could he be a normal guy when he had to wear a bra.

"I'll drag you to the change rooms if I have to. It has to fit or it will hurt"

He was on the verge of begging Katie to let him leave.  He wasn't going to let himself cry again, he couldn't let it happen. If K saw him like that, they would see him as a girl, manning up was the only way to do this. He just had to deal with it, crying over clothes shopping would be more humiliating.

Katie walked with him to the change rooms. He felt like a pervert going into the girl change rooms but Katie forced him in there. Apparently, they were worried about him.

"I'll be out here if you need me. Okay?" 

He slammed the door closed, revealing the mirror on the back. Without knowing what had happened to him, he doubted anyone would be able to notice the changes. Despite that, he had been avoiding looking in the mirror except when it was necessary. At most he would look at his face when he had to, even while at the doctor's he kept his eyes closed and held on to Katie's soft comforting hand. He shook himself from thinking about the doctors and begrudgingly took off the layers he had built up that morning. Seeing his chest made him surer this couldn't be his body.

They weren't huge breasts, which made him feel a little better, but they also weren't small. James wanted them gone.
Putting the bra on like a shirt seemed to work. It was comfortable enough, maybe a little tight around the ribs but nothing that he thought would hurt. It didn't stop it from being emasculating, looking in the mirror he looked like the loser of a bad dare. At least they looked smaller than before. Never had he been happier to put his clothes back on. 

"K, can you see if this looks better?"

After unlocking the door K pushed it open.

"You look a lot flatter," She says. "I don't think anyone would be able to notice now." 

"Good, thanks K" he replied, 'if anyone saw me they wouldn't notice' he repeated this thought.
He changed out of the bra, paid for it and then left, he noticed Katie looking at the clothes longingly.

The bra stuffed in his hoodie pocket, he walked out and tried to hide his anxiety. He looked at the crowds. It's not like anyone would see him here. Would they even recognise him?

"Do you need something to eat, it's on me?" Katie asked

The food court was bustling with people, James pulled his hood over to cover his face and hopefully avoid being recognized especially since he was with K. He looked around the endless sea of people for anyone he might be recognized by, despite not even seeing anyone he felt like he was going to throw up. What if K was wrong and people notice what's up? Would he have to live as a girl? Live as someone he could never be? K was saying something, but he couldn't care he had to make sure he didn't get seen.

"So what do you want? I was thinking hot dogs, we used to get those after going to the beach. Sound good?"

Someone touched James' shoulder and for a second he thought he was done for, he yelped and hoped that he could run. Until he saw it was just K. Blood began rushing to his cheeks as he realised how feminine his yelp sounded, and how stupid he was. How could he have made that noise, his voice was deep, it shouldn't have come out like that. He processed about half of K's sentence and bullshitted a response.

"Yeah hot dogs sound great," He says with an unconvincing smile.

K took him by the arm and quickly dragged him to the milkshake parlour, they ordered for both and ordered him to sit down. They looked puzzled by him.

"What was that?"

"I'm fine, I was just looking out for people and you startled me" He replied. He couldn't tell her about how hearing his own voice made him feel. It would sound crazy. Why would someone be surprised or scared by their own voice?
She looked unconvinced.

Sitting down with K and having hotdogs reminded James of when they were younger and did swimming lessons together. How they used to go out after lessons and have a milkshake. It was weird that they were back here under such weird circumstances. It made him smile that at least something good could come from this. It felt different now though, maybe it was that now they were both teenagers, and that he was now apparently a girl and that K was now kind of a girl and that they were cute and sweet and they had walked him through this whole terrifying experience. His face felt warmer, he was blushing again, he looked over at K to make sure they couldn't see and tried to calm himself. Was this a side effect of his body changing? Did he always blush this much?

He looked down at his food as K looked to him.

"Hey James, can you please just call me by my name from now on?" 

Today had been shit but at least Katie was there to help him through it, it was the least he could do. She had made it obvious that Katie was his friend, and that the Kieran he knew was just Katie under a different name. 

"Sure, Katie"

Her smile filled him with warmth. It was good to see it after the looks she gave him earlier.