Newly Not Cis

Too much change

The person in the mirror still wasn't him, but at least he couldn't tell they were a girl at first glance. If he looked closer he still noticed his chest poking out from under the hoodie; it made him feel sick. He wanted to forget those were there, he'd even closed his eyes while changing between different tops and hoodies, he never thought he would hate seeing a woman's chest but when they were attached to him all he could think about was removing them. Despite that everything else made him feel more at home in his appearance, the way his body shape disappeared under the hoodie, the way his hair tied and hidden, it was similar to his normal style, it was comfortable.

"James, you alright?" 

K seemed to have changed how James looked so effortlessly, it was amazing to even come close to resembling himself after this curse but they somehow managed it, even if he still looked so wrong. It was a relief to know he had them around. 

"I'm fine." It felt so awkward to be so ashamed of his body. It was still frustrating that no matter how much K changed James' clothes that he could see his face in the mirror, the only proof of his previous appearance, what he really is, being in the photos he rarely took.
He had to get away from the mirror, despite the improvements it still hurt to see himself like this.
K was waiting outside, it was nice to see a face that wasn't his.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah" his voice was still able to surprise him, he didn't notice how much deeper it was when it dropped. "but in your opinion do I look like a loner teenage girl or a 12-year-old boy"

"You look fine okay? Handsome even."

He often struggled to see K as a girl but at that moment he couldn't see her as anything but, it was embarrassing, he had to turn away to hide his slight blush. He tried to remember that K wasn't a girl, despite how cute they looked right now. He tried to remember all the times they spent watching anime and cartoons but that was all Kieran, not Katie. He tried to remind himself they were the same person yet now he could only see Katie, despite what he thought he believed.

"Are you sure you are alright James? You seem a little out of it."

"I'm fine Kay-" he stopped himself, the person in front of him was Kieran and only Kieran. Katie was just a girly part of Kieran, a mask he uses to hide his true self. He always used to hide why would he stop now, just because he decided he was a girl. But still, they'd called him handsome, he felt relieved and flustered, a guy shouldn't be able to make him feel this way. "I'm fine. Thanks for helping me with that." He didn't know what he would have done without them. Regardless of whether it was Katie or Kieran.

"Your welcome." 

The day went by uneventfully, all things considered, it was odd how he just forgot about how bizarre his situation was. In the end, he was sitting there in a girls body in shorts and a hoodie with his ex-best friend who was now a mix of a stranger and their old self, playing whatever game K had and trying to catch up on time they had lost. He didn't want the feeling of normalcy to leave but every time he looked down or had to go to the toilet he was reminded of how female he was.  

They ordered pizza, and James set up the guest bed. K didn't want to sleep in James' bed which he thought was odd but he didn't question it. It had been a while since he had had a friend over, it just sucked that it was under these conditions.
Goodnights were exchanged and they both tried to sleep. To fill the silence his brain began going through every possible thought. Was it possible he would wake up and have his body back? or if he slept, he would find out the last day had been a dream? If it was then seeing K again wasn't real, how would he feel that were true? If it wasn't, what was he going to do? How was he going to have to adapt to living as a girl? He had been a man all his life? Why couldn't this have hit K? At least they would know a little bit of what to do. How was he going to explain this to his mum? Would she accept it? Would she help him become a guy again?
It was overwhelming. He couldn't close his eyes, he didn't want to imagine himself as a girl, he just couldn't.

"K if you're awake, I have to ask a favour."

"Mmmhmmm?" they hummed sleepily

"If I'm stuck will you help me learn to be a girl?" It hurt to ask but Katie might be the only one who knows what it's like to go from being a guy to living as a girl, even if it was less than perfect. 

"If that's what you want then I can try. But I'm not sure you'll ever be a girl."

"In case you haven't noticed I already am one."

"James that's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?"

"I mean, you didn't wish for this did you?"

"Why the hell would I wish for something like this?"

"Exactly, you don't have to be a girl. I'll explain later, but I wanna sleep"

He had no idea what they were talking about. He couldn't be a man like this, he can't even look at his own body, he can't even do what a man would do in this situation and touch a woman. 
Maybe it was worth trying again. He touched up and down his body to try and understand its shape and how his figure had changed. He starts with the first big change; his chest. He couldn't bring himself to call them boobs they were just breasts, but he felt sick after thinking about touching them. He had avoided them all day because of how foreign they were but he needed to confirm they were real. He put his hand on his chest and took a deep breath, they rose with his breathing, they were real. He wanted to vomit, he wanted to rip them off, he wanted his old body back. He had wanted to touch boobs before, but all feeling them did was make him feel more emasculated than he already did.

Against his better judgement he reached down to his crotch, he expected it to be there, he thought he could feel it there. It took him touching the space where his dick used to be to confirm it was gone. Every logical part of him told him to pull his hand away now, but he had to see if he had something else.

He went to the bathroom, unsure if he just felt sick or was going to be.

It was stupid to hope that his penis wasn't replaced but just gone, yet he had still hoped against all logic that he wouldn't have a vagina. He hoped that if there was one thing, he had imagined in a sleepy daze it was that. This body made less sense to him the longer he inhabited it, what was he meant to do with it? 
He needed to sleep, and he needed to wake up tomorrow in a body that fit him. He needed his body back.