Newly Not Cis

The "Feelings Nick Can't Deal With" Box

Hi, long time no see! Unless you read A Body for Someone Else. The new story I uploaded while trying to write this chapter. It's a body swap story! An idea that I had thought about alongside NNC. If you like NNC check it out! 

Anyway, this isn't the next part. This is chapter 17 and takes place after Local Girl Mad at Magical Muesli. It was written for Scribblehub, where I'm still rewriting and making the story better. This is a chapter from Nicks perspective. Yay!  Unfortunately, I don't know when 26 will be out. I need to brainstorm it. 

Nick had never seen James have a panic attack before. The day before hadn't exactly been special, either, and he couldn't pinpoint a trigger. Was it something he did? Something he said? He wasn't sure, but he was worried about it nonetheless. The fact that James didn't turn up at lunch only made that worry worse. He tried a breathing exercise and went through the more logical explanations; it was right after he'd complimented him on his clean shave, was that what did it? He should have known not to compliment James but he looked so down, it was hard to resist wanting to see him smile. It wasn't like James resisted his help; maybe he was just stressed in general. Hopefully, there was something he could do.

English yesterday had been oddly quiet without James talking. All he was able to get out of him was an "I'm fine." which Nick could tell was a lie. Maybe his cold or whatever he had, flared up and he couldn't talk. He did say he was sick. That didn't explain why he wasn't responding to any messages though. Being sick didn't make you unable to type. Trying to catch up with him the next lesson seemed like the best way to go. Hopefully, James would respond this time.

Walking to class was an anxious experience. He knew things would be fine; there wasn't anything James could do to him. Except cut him off, leaving him alone, since James was the only person he'd been able to make friends with, who didn't treat his excitement over his current hyper fixation as something to be mocked. There was nothing James could do except that. Losing the one person who actually listened to his embarrassing rambling wasn't scary at all. James was one of the few people Nick felt comfortable around, he always felt this warmness just from seeing his face. Maybe it was just feeling like someone cared what he was saying that made his face light up while around James.

The class seemed normal when he got there, normal except for James; the guy looked broken, that cocky smirk he usually wore after homeroom was replaced by a blank and tired expression. It was depressing seeing him like that. Nick sat down next to him and silently hoped that it might help. It didn't seem to.

"Are you okay, mate?" Nick asked. It wasn't the most original way to check up on someone but he hoped it would do the trick. Nick liked to think he'd learned to interact with other people his age. Throwing in 'mate' and 'dude' tended to help with being perceived as normal.

James looked at him and then looked back at the desk. No response. That was frustrating.

"James, how are you after yesterday?" Hopefully, James would answer if the question was rephrased. James continued staring at his desk. Maybe a more targetted question would help. "Does your voice hurt or something?"

James nodded. Finally a response. A non-verbal and not very helpful response but a response nonetheless.

"Are you going to the library at recess?" Nick hoped James would give something substantial here. Going to the library without him seemed like a recipe for disaster.

James shrugged a resigned shrug. His expression looked hopeless like he'd just let whatever happened, happen. Nick wanted to hug the guy; it might not have been the best idea, but seeing this usually very loud guy suddenly be so quiet was a shock. He wanted James to be his usual self again. Lunch yesterday had been boring with just Ben and Lachie; there was no one to balance them out. The way they played off each other was always amusing to watch, but now it was two guys just flaming with no buffer, no banter. It would be easier if Nick was able to bounce off the others but he hadn't figured out how to do that yet. It seemed to come naturally to Ben, James and Lachie, but Nick just couldn't figure it out. How did they not worry about messing it up? What if he went too far?