lost chemisty

Numb

Ashley's outfit is the first one Morgan's is the second Amari's is the third and  Renée's is the last one.

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When I was 13 years old my grandfather passed away. He had been sick for a while and we did everything we could to make his last few years as enjoyable as possible. But it was kind of hard considering he was ordered to be on bed rest. And that same place is where he took his last breath. At the time I had been at his church, the church where I grew up in I was surrounded by my family and friends who were in the church. I remember the preacher announced to everyone that my grandfather had took his last breath before he could get in the house to pray for him. Immediately everyone's eyes went to me and my cousin immediately took me out of the church.

Numb.

That's how i felt for 2 years after his passing I fell into a depression and no matter what my parents or friends did nobody could pull me out of it until.. Him.

That first day we came across each other changed my life and  for a while for the better but then it all came crumbbling down. And again I was left with that numb feeling. That feeling where you've reached rock bottom that you don't even care if you get pull up again, you just want to be by yourself.

Yea well by my brother asking me how I know Aaron it's like I'm 15 again experiencing that numbness again.

"Um- i-you what?" I horseley whisper my throat tightening up as I look anywhere but my brother who is curiously looking at me.

"How.Do.You.Know.Aaron.Lock.

My brother says each word slowly as his voice raises a little bit as his eyes go from his hazel to eyes mixed with green in them. Something that my dad and I have to whenever we become upset.

I sigh and run my hands through my thick curly mane of hair. Why does my brother even know who Aaron is? He's two years older than us so what possible connection could these two possibly have.

"Um.. Well we used to date when I was a freshman.. And we used to be best friends"

To say my brother was outraged wouldn't even begin to describe.

He flipped s**t.

"AMARI CATALAYA HALL" I cringe at him using my middle name (pronounced cat-ah-lay-ya) WHY HAVENT YOU TOLD ME USED USED TO BE INVOLVED WITH THAT BOY. I DONT WANT YOU HANGING AROUND HIM ANYMORE HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR" my brother finishes his rant and he's standing in front of me looking down at me. I nod my head and lower it like I've just been caught trying to steal a cookie.

"It doesn't matter anyways we stopped being friends a long time ago" I plop down on the couch sitting criss cross applesauce gazing into no specific area.

"Why what happened?"

I look up and give a weak smile as I stand up. I walk over to the stairs and stop. I turn to face my brother and say

"When I'm ready I'll tell you"

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Tonight is mine and the girls friend Carmen's birthday today. So she decided to throw a party with her being 18 and all her parents didn't care and even got her alcohol. So I told the girls to come over to my house so we could all get ready. They all agreed and apparently because they thought my brother is "fine as hell and can eye rape him all day"

Yea I almost threw up when all three of my best friends said this to me.

So now its about 2 hours until we leave for the party and we are downstairs getting some snacks when my brother walks down stairs. "Hey sis" he says and kisses my head while I eat some cookie dough and on Twitter at the same time stalking my future husband JB.