Jason's POV
I feel my heart beating out of my chest as I walk to the hotel suite that my family is staying in. I'm nervous which is not something that I'm used to. I'm usually so sure about myself and who I am as a person, but with Tiana it's different.
She always makes me so nervous and she doesn't even know it. However, I haven't been this nervous since our first date. I remember that date like yesterday. I got offended because she accused me of taking her out for a bet. I never needed something as stupid as a bet to talk to Tiana.
I've always been my own person and I never needed to follow behind anyone. That's one of the things you need to to take over. I have to have a very good sense of self and be able to stand alone when necessary. Sometimes it's lonely, but that's just the way it is.
My father taught me to never trust anyone but the woman I love and a select few of family members. And that's the way I've always been since birth. The only people I trust outside of family is Issac, Tiana's family. I don't have a lot of friends and I don't hang out with people.
The closes person to me is my queen and I've been fucking it up. I've been letting my stupid insecurities rule me and that's not normal for me, but Tiana is the only person that can make me question myself. Hell, I spent six years trying to figure out what it was that I did to make her break up with me the way she did, then when I found out that she was hiding Aiden from me, I tried figuring out what made her think that I couldn't handle it. She says it's because she didn't want to hold me back or for me to resent her in the long wrong, but that just made me question myself more, like what behavior did I exhibit for her to think that I would ever resent her for getting pregnant.
It's not like she did it on her own. I'm the one who got her pregnant so why would I be upset. That's the risk that comes with having sex. You can get a girl pregnant. I would've never left her alone to deal with that by herself or resent her for something that I willingly participated in. But she thought I would, and that's what I've been obsessing over.
And now I'm questioning myself again. My girl left me and it's my fault. I know I haven't been the best boyfriend in the world, but for her to go and talk to some other guy hurt me. And the fact that he's my worst fear personified doesn't make it better. No matter how much I don't like the guy, I can admit that Carson is a good man. He owns his own business, army vet and doesn't have any type of criminal history, known or unknown. If Tiana would leave me for anyone, it would be a guy like him. Plus he's been doing all the things that I haven't been doing it. Listening to her problems, making her smile when she's upset.
I can tell he likes her, even if Tiana doesn't see it, I can. Can't say I blame the guy, because who wouldn't like my Bambina. She's amazing and to know her is to love her. But she's mine so he can't have her.
____________________
When I got to the door, I hesitate to knock, fearing she won't answer the door.
'Don't be stupid Jason. Tiana wouldn't just stand you up' A voice tells me.
'Yeah that was before I fucked up a million times.' I think back.
'Stop being a pussy and knock on the fucking door.'
Taking a deep breath, I bring my hand up to knock on the door, when it's swung open, and there she is. Standing there beautiful as ever, looking up at me with a pretty brown eyes and her sweet angel face.
"I've been watching you stand there for about five minutes." She states giving me a look.
"Uh, I'm a little nervous." I chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck with the hand I was gonna use to knock on the door.
