Finally, you are DONE with interviewing those crazy bitches!! Time to get to the REAL research.. your going to need a ghillie suit.... *cue eye of the tiger!!!* 0.0 RISIN UP! BACK ON THE STREET! you did your time.. took your chances.. and now? heh.. well... your back on your feet. just a woman with her will to survive!
It's time to do some REAL TIME SPY MISSION!!!!!! Equip with your packet, you get to work and find a good bush to hide in. Gamzee and Tavros sit on the planter you reside in currently. "heeey brother" says gay. he is high. "oh um hey man haha" says tarvy. he seems on edge.. "whats wrong my good bro? feelin a little nerved? want some mother fuckin... weed?" and then he holds the blunt in the way that no one ever holds a blunt. like it's a skull in a shakespeare play. how will he respond to the peer pressure you are wondering!!!
"n-no way gay!!!! thc? not for me!" and he pushes it away.
"aw man alright if you say so. heh... more for me!!" he does a smoke at school!!! hey! that's definitely not allowed! but you cannot intervene. you are SPYING... it's time to mark this in your notes. you note that tarbring is resistance to peer pressured... and that gamzee is still in fact a stoner as you already had known it to be true. alright TIME TO FIND ANOTHER GROUP TO CREEP ON YOU MEAN STUDY!!
You stroll up behind a group of these silly teens... Reefers, Queer, Ferris Wheel, and Sir Yellsalot. "nyah!!!" says beepbeep "nooo!!! no one must seeeee!!!!!" she is squealing about over her book. it seems to have spilled onto the ground and had been dropped! a paper flew out, exposing her secret... oh my!!! you think to yourself!
Fishy gasps! "neppy!!! you really feel that way about me and jade???" she says. you use binoculars that you have to take a closer look. heh. you put the BI in BInoculars if you know what im s
"n.. nyah... i..... y.yes....." she admits. "WOW WHAT A FUCKING SHOCKER!!! THE CROWD GOES WILD WITH DISMAY, AND THEN COMMITS MASS SUICIDE." says kankersour. well that was not very nice :( you note: karkat mean.
meanwhile, honeynut queerios is sweating up a storm like an actual fucking storm like he is a cloud from which it is raining. descusteng. geizunteit. a wild jade appears just then!!! "whats this!" you see it now.. the paper covering her secret ship.. her secret TRUE OTP!!! True One True Pairing!!! It's a drawing of her, feferi, and jade all in cuddle pile! AWWW!!!!! "nepeta! you... omg!!!" jade wiggles. fepri is smiling. she looks to jade "WE LOVE YOU!!!" they say simulataneously at the same time. Nepartion gasps!
"w.. what?!?!?!?!?!!? she splimmers!" oh shes gone into rp mode. "nepeta!!! hehehe!!!" jade says " i think we should all date each other!!!!!" feferi presses in. "yeah me too!" says jade. "really!!!!!!!" neeffa is glowing with hearts in her eyes! "yes!" say them both gals. she jumps into the air and jade and ferrari both catch her in their arms. all is well. you mark down that a ship has become canon, and all is well.
you turn around to find more trolls when- "hey" it's arda mode... you yelp and jump three feet in the air "what are you doing in a bush mari?' she asks. no tone of accusation or anything. she is just legiimately curious is all.
"I! WAS! GOODBYE!!!" you take off, sprinting. when you look behind you, aradia has disappeared so you stop running and catch your breath.
"Well hello there," rose says and you jump again. JEESUS COULD THESE GOTH LADIES QUIT SNEAKING UP ON YOU?!?!?!? "FUCK! i mean uh hi rose :)" you say.
"where are you off to in such a rush?" she questions with a light chickle. "um.. just studying" you say. "what, for like running club?" she jokes. you gaggle.
"no i.." you lower your voice "im watching the trolls" rose looks confused. you go on. "when you are studying a species.. you are supposed to maintain the least amount of interaction as possible to get true resuls!" you explain.
"But did you not already interview them all, thus ruining the idea of zero interaction?" she says, and looks at you like youre stupid. You're not stupid!
"but! its just! let me do my work ross!!!!" you say wit a yelling an jump with your arms up. Rose surrenders her hands. "I saw nothing" and she is miss zwipperlips on the topic from then on! you hope at least. You get back to work.
Happening upon a wil interspecies interaction.. a Dave and a Karkat.. the former in his natural habitat.. how fascinating.. let's watch.
"AND I SAID, 'HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY LETTUCE!'" says karkles.
"what kind of list was it was it a naughty nice list, you santa mofo?" replies dave, smooth as ever.
"WHAT?? NO, I SAID LETTUCE. WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING AT ALL??" he yells back. dave is flustered.
"oh. um. anyways lol"
"DAVE WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE THEFT OF MY FUCKING VEGETABLES?!?"
"sorry man i was just distracted" says dave. karky crosses his arms in an anger. "no one care me" he mumbles.
"what?" dave puts a hand on his shoulder "bro.. i care you." he says. karkat look to him with a sparkle in his eye, then quickly turns away, shrugging him off his shoulder. "yeah right" he says. "no one care me not even you" he say. "bro that is just not the truth" dave says.
karkat is trying not to cry and you see it in his see it in his eyes. dave sighs. "listen man. im gonna tell u the truth. i was pating attention to what you was saying because... i was staring at your freckles." he blurts out.
"WHAT?" karkat yells. dave panics.
"i! i'm sorry man there just so beautif- i mean they're.. their.. there.." oh this is gay activity right here you just knowing of it... whehehehe..... you make a little asterisk note on the side to tell nepeta about your findings.
"DAVE DONT YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME" karky scremas. "dude i would not fucking lie to you!" dave replimations. oh shit this is getting heated. "you just have an objectively distractingly cute face and i was getting lost in the sauce" he admits. karkat is blooshing SO HARDLY HEHE!
"dave.... wait. dave?" "what is it bro?" "do you hear that?" you freez. "no what?" karat looks all around him. "its stopped. but it sounded like.. a pen scratching paper..." he says. oh no. youve been noticed. dave sighs.
"dude are you just trying to change the subject? cmon thats hella low" he sighs again. "nO I REALLY HEARD SOMETHING!" they get into an argument heated enough for you to sneak away, only to run into vriska in the hallway.
"HEY WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU'REGOING!" she yells, dice appearing between her fingers. "hey what the fuck!" you screet "rose talked about this in the meeting!!!!" you notice the dice more. "wait. were you just gonna like pelt me with dice??" you wonder.
"NO!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WHEN I ROLL THESE DICE THEY BRING ABOUT AN ATTACK. AND SINCE I HAVE ALLLLLLLL THE LUCK, I CAN CONTROLL THEM! THEY ANSWER TO ME! SO IT OBVIOUSLY WOULDVE BEEN 8^8 AND I WOULD HAVE FUCKING DESTROYED YOU!"
"dude you cant do that its uncool" vriska quints at you. "dont. call. me. dude." she utters angrily. "oh fuck im sorry, for real i get you on that one i dont like it either." her expression softens for a moment, but then becomes more angry.
"FUCK YOU! DON'T TRY AND EMPATHIZE ME OR WHATEVER YOUR TRYING!!!!" she yells, clutching her dice. theres a flash in her hand and then they disappear. she suddenly has you by the collar, holding you up a good foot in the air. "don't EVER try to pull that shit with me AGAIN!" she screams, dropping you to the floor and storming off.
"woah!! what was that!" says a familiar voice. but not too familiar. but not too not familiar. it's a new craze.. you turn to see. aradia? but she's grinning into ear, and she has PUPILS! she grabs you by the shoulders and you can FEEL HER. like really REALLY feel her!
"aradia! your.. alive????" she laughs.
"thanks for noticing!!!" she says, doing a little spinny spin.
"wha... how?!?!?!???" how are so amazed!!!! she is.. so beautiful!!!! wow.. she giggles.
"oh, mari.. always asking so many questions! that doesn't matter now!! i'm back!!!!" there are tears in her eyes "i'm really back!" she hugs you, picking you up and spinning around with you. "um! wow!!! that's amazzin!!!" you say, with your own big grin.
"thank you!!!!" she says again. "i gotta find sollux! he'll be so happy!!" and she runs off.
YOU ARE READING
Case 257
FanfictionMari Parker is new to Hollywood since her two moms are trying to become actresses. Her new school seems promising, and Mari quickly makes friends with four zany kids. But then, a black hole opens up, spitting out 12 teens of an alien race! How will...
