Case 257

Chapter 6: We Live in a Society

You decode to go to dave and roses house after school to hang out with the trolls and such. sollux and aradia come with you as well. this is because rose has told them that the five of you humans are going to help teach them about human society so they can be better integrated into it. you are not siked for that you really would rather not talk about this shit society at length but like oh well you guess!

when you all get there, rose has everyone sit in a circle in the living room. "I WANT TO SIT NEXT TO KANAYA" karkat says "SHES THE ONLY BITCH I RESPECT IN THIS ROOM"

"hey what about me" dav says. karkat just flips him off "fair enough."

"well i would like to sit next to rose" kanaya says, daintily holding her skirt so that she may daintily sit down daintily. deeeeeerrr4

rose sits down next to her very closely and karkat sits on her other side a lot less close. she and rose are holding hands aww :) dave sits down next to karkat and you see it in his eyes that he has gayness within him. jade sits on the other side of rose, then its neepta, equius, gamzee, a sizeable space in between him and eridan, then feferi, sollux, aradia, you, tavros unfortunately, john, vriska, terezi sitting next to dave again. the circle of stupidity is complete and it actually makes some fucking sense. what a wonder. love how nepeta is the only name i spelled wrong she just has such a typo-able name yaknow? beepers.

"i am glad to see that you are all actually sticking around for this," rose says "it will be quite important for your time here on earth"

sollux raises his hand. "sollux you have a question?"

"yeah i dont think i need to be here im cool already" he sas

"i understand but please stick around anyway" he just roles hes eyes. ass. hes ass. aradia pats his back.

"so i am sure you all wondering how we humans function here on earth," rose begins

"YEAH YOUR PLANET FUCKING SUCKS" karkat says. "please hold all questions until the question taking period which will be happening soon enough. first we shall teach you basic curtousies. karkat, do you think i could do a demonstration with you?"

"what? no fuck you." he says. "please? it is for the betterment of the group i promise it will be worth your while." she pleads. "FINE" he says and stand. rose stand as well. "good thank you. now lets say i am a stranger walking past you on the street." she starts walking towards him and bumps his shoulder slightly.

"HEY WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOUR GOING ASSHOLE!!" he takes out his sickle.

"than k you, see this was my point exactly. this is the wrong way to react. jade." jade stands up and they reenact the scene.

"whoops, pardon me," rose says when she bumps the glasses girls shoulder. "you are good" says jade and smiles and then she bows. "thank you dear. would anyone else like to give it a try?"

gay stands. "yeah ill give it my best motherfuckin shot i guess" he say. "excellent" says rose. she walks towards him and bumps his shoulder "ah, pardon me"

he just stands there, saying nothing. "ok that is also an acceptable response" rose says "if you do not feel like speaking you dont have to, but the point is, please do not act violently."

vriska raises her hand but doesnt wait for permission to speak. "um yeah okay you say that like its asy?? but if some asswhipe isnt looking where they are going on the street i think i have the fucking right to stab a sword through his torso!" she says.

"typically carrying weapons is illegal" rose says. all of the trolls start to complain except for aradia and sollux because they have powers and no need for silly little weaponds.

"guys!" jade says "i know it is not what you are used to but please try and behave.. i.. i dont want the gobernment to take you all away.." she starts welling up in tears.

"oh no" nepeta says "OK IF ANY OF YOU MAKE JADE CRY THEN I WILL BE SOOO MAD I WILL FUCKING KLL YOU!!!" she say. equius passes out. everyone seems to be afraid of neppy, and so they all agree to begave well enough.

"dave, what tip would you like to give the trolls?" rose asks, phasing through kanaya and karkat to nudge her brothers shoulder. "what the FUCK" he says "ok.. uh so basically if you dont have the illest beats your gonna go to jail"

"ah" says equius "joke about heart beat" dave nods

"oh my god dave shut up!" john says "hes JOKING!!! okay heres MY tip" he stands up "a lot of humans do this thing called 'sarcasm' and basically they say the opposite of what they mean or like.. they say something that doesnt really mean anything? i am pretty straightforward a lot i think but these guys are not so much" he points to dave and rose.

"john i take offense" rose says, deadpan

"see that was sarcasm right there!" john clarifies. "thank you for the demonstration, rose" she nods.

"mari, do you have anything you'd like to share?" rose asks. you GULP "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" you stare at all of the trolls in front of you. you really do not knowing what to say! "should we talk about like laws and shit?" you ask. "man this is bumming me out im not gonna lie"

"understandable," dave says "how about you and me get outta here"

you stare at him. "ok so heres my fun human tip" dave frowns "you have to buy the food at the store before you eat it"

"WHAT???" terezi yells "BUT IF THERE IS FOOD OUT THERE I SHOULD BE ABLE TO JUST EAT IT LIKE WHY ELSE IS IT THERE???"

"im afraid there's a little thing called capitalism" rose says

"we have that on our planet" kanaya says "terezi is just a menace to society already"

"HAHAHAHAH YEAH" says terezi. "mari, do you perhaps have another tip that would not already be known to us?" kanaya asks.

"uhm." man you dont wanna get emotional already its only chapter 6!! chapter 7 is where it went wrong last time i gotta wait til at LEAST then i think. cause like youre thinking of homophobia and shit and you dont wanna talk about that cause what a fucking bummer dude. this planet fucking sucks like at least alternia said gay rights at the very fucking least. "i dunno man i got nothin im sorry"

Rose nods. "Very well then. we shall move on to the question asking portion" she says. "does anyone have any questions?"

fuck dude im gonna be real hi its the author here i do not want to write this part like i put it in the outline and i guess i didnt really think about the fuckin implications of what 'describing society' would be like. it basically just fucking sucks like yeah there are funny parts like oh you guys dont know you cant just murder anyone you see but then theres like hey if youre a girl and you kiss another girl in public you might get hate crimed! whoops!!!! so im just gonna go ahead and do a little time skippa-roo and this chapter is coming to end riiiiight here.