Moments // Billie Eilish

Chapter 39

Last night was pure shit, after calming Billie down she passed out from exhaustion and I was on the brink too. But I knew waking up on the bathroom floor the next morning wouldn't help anything.

Billie was still asleep and it's a blessing and a curse that I woke up before her. I've got no idea how to tell her I'm going home tonight or that we should break up. I'm not going to be taken for granted as much as I love Billie, but if I've learnt anything these past few days, I need to put me first.

Needing air I left the room and roamed the streets before grabbing a coffee from a nearby café and took a seat to call Jock.

"Harrington?" he asked as soon as he picked up "is everything ok?"

"Um, kind of. Sorry did I wake you?"

"Yeah but it's alright" he yawned "what going on?"

Deciding to just come out with it I took a deep breath "I'm coming home tonight J"

"You're what? Why? Are you sure you're ok?"

"I-I" I choked up and felt the tears well again "Billie's been cheating on me" I whispered into the phone.

"I hope you're joking" he said coldly "I really hope you are Harri, I don't care if she's a huge ass star who's adorned by her fans. I'll give her a piece of my mind"

"It's ok Jock, I did yesterday" I laughed at his brotherly protectiveness "but since I'm flying home tonight can you pick me up from the airport tomorrow please?"

"Of course little sis, just text me the details of when you land and I'll be there"

"Thank you, Jock, I've got to go now but I'll see you tomorrow, and don't tell anyone. Not even mum and dad"

"Whatever you want Harri, bye love you"

"Thanks again J, love you too bye" I hung up the call and finished my coffee.

Now to face the music.

Silence surrounded us and it wasn't comfortable either, it was awkward silence. From the day we met things were never awkward, we were always so comfortable with each other, so the feeling was unsettling and foreign.

I didn't like it.

"I'm sorry" Billie broke the silence but continued to stare at the blank tv screen.

"I know" was my pathetic response. More time passed and I made the decision to just come out with it "I'm leaving tonight"

More silence, it was almost deafening. My heart was going two hundred beats a minute and I could hear it as clear as day in my ears.

"Y-you can't" Billie protested brokenly "please Harrington I need you, you can't leave me. You only j-just g-got here"

"Well" I sniffled and quickly wiped a tear "I needed you and you weren't here for me Billie. God I went out of my way to be here with you and it's taken me to leave to make you see that!"

"You can't- no I won't let it happen!" she stood up and kneeled infront of me, grabbing my hands into hers "please angel, don't leave..." she cried, burying her head into my lap.

Stiffening I retracted my hands from hers "Billie, you need to figure out what you want, and I need space"

"I'll give you space! Hell I'll sleep on the tour bus and you can stay here but we don't need an ocean of space Harrington!"